FSOG Rimbaud in Grey major
by deaconlost
Summary: CG is lost, within his mind and world. a fail suicide and abduction and CG is alone and hunting for identity and a place in the world. Can he find it, can he recover. how will the strange girl in his dreams save him, if she can't save herself. How will the family, friends the world deal with the CG and AS new undiscovered country. Will the wilds of Orlando help or hurt them. HEA
1. Chapter 1 loser, lost, lostest

chp 1 loser, lost, lostest

c-pov

The light plays about the window glass surface, fractalled by the rain. The windows of my fortress of solitude; my-self made and my-self incarcerated prison. Thunder and lightning; strobing flashes like stars in a hidden heaven. Heaven a place I don't think I'll ever attain. I watch nothing and no one watches me. No one cares about me, truly cares about me. Lost in the pain of this existence, self-exiled into this loneliness; the wages of my sins shatter and shift my karma into the toilet. I existence to destroy all I touch, all I love. I exist here in this mortal shell, a pretty face hiding a hollow man. I have nothing to lose, having lost it all before I was born.

The room is dark, like my heart, no light silhouettes my visage. No shining light bleeds into my darkness, my dark heart sucks it all in like a blackhole. I watch the ships go by; I watch the world leave me behind. I am one with nothing; I'm one without one; zero. I don't exist. I have all the wealth and money, prestige and power: the materialist garbage. And yet I have less than the lowest denizen below. The homeless, lost souls; ants like forms from this loftiness; no more, no less just wasted humans in flights. Flotsam of the world.

I watch the shadows of my face play in the flashing lighting; the storm has arrived over Seattle and I like the god throwing thunder bolts; am mad. Mad at the world. Mad at myself. I let the steam escape, let the world go. I take the gun from my pocket. I cock the trigger. Here in the now. Here in my fortress: I will end this ersatz of life. I tighten on the smooth metal of my destiny.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I wake in a hospital bed, ten beds in the room, all full. Where am I. Why am I alive? I wait for the doctors, or nurse. What is going on? Who am I? Do I really give a shit for the answers? I am who I always was: nobody. No-one, nothing.

I walk away from the hospital, somewhere in Portland, I think. I think I know something, but it doesn't work; tortured images of pain and causing others pain hurt my mind, leaving me in tears and whimpers for relieve. My mind is a blank and large parts of what should be don't exist. Did I ever exist. Do I want to exist? I wander the streets looking for meaning in my life. I wonder looking at the birds float over the river, should I be looking at all.

The nurse said I was in a car wreck; they say the woman in the car didn't make it. What woman, who? They showed me a picture of an old hag, twisted and distorted from too much Botox; cruel heartless eyes haunt me; was she kin or akin. I fear the picture and I don't understand or know why. I just fear the witch.

Days bleed into the next: I sleep in doorways, lost and alone, cold and hungry. I've been here before. Before? When was I here before? I watch the people uncaring wander past me. I watch humanity flee; these good people in the face of my reality. Vision of a brown-haired woman lost to drugs haunts me, vision of begging in the street, sterile rooms, devoid of color. Bureaucratic herding pens for the lost and abandon. I was abandoned. I was a throwaway human, nothing again and again courses thru my mind. I remember high top combat boots with shiny buckles; they invoke terror and pain. I rage in the fear, the helplessness; rage in the prison of my mind.

I've lost track of the days, the nights; I eat out of garbage cans, begging. I've been here before. I wander aimlessly about the city. I've been here before. Lost in the nightmares in my head and the ones before my eyes. I watch the dawn break, knowing I should do the only thing left to me. Step into the river and let fate take me home. I've been here before. I see the brown-haired woman lost in a drug haze begging me to come home.

I watch a seagull soar above me, I let the mystical currents drag me towards the railing. The ether flows to and fro: here in the wasted ruins of a Portland riverside manufacturing plant. The hallowed days of this place are long past. Rust and time have left the area a wreck of broken windows and torn steel. Long gone into the graffiti and homelessness. Hopelessness has strewn dead about the pier. I won't be the first or the last to give up and leave this mortal world, shed this mortal coil from within these hallowed halls and fetid by-ways

I walk to the edge of the pier, there in the ground trash is a bed roll, a knife, and a note:

_The world has come to pass the boundaries I cannot let restrain my soul anymore. The music in my head has vanished in the cold lite of this charisma's morning; like every morning since they shunned me. since my kin abandoned me to the streets._

_I watched a triangle of geese sail to green grass and warmer waters. I watched the other bravest lost souls float by my perch. Honest men this dawns cruel night. The night will not shine her magical stars on my face anymore. Or lead me down paths of tonal delights. The once mythology of my family loved me._

_The world is no longer wondrous and bright. She is cruel and heartless, the whore of greed and wants, petty men of closed minds and ears. The songs no longer play from my crippled fingers, the words no longer slip my lips. I am mute to release the dreams in my head. Paint in sound the tapestry of my soul. My soul has died and so shall I._

_My family left me without a dime, after graduation from junior high school, left me alone without friend or kin to worry my blight. Uncle Sam drafted me; I stay in Army green. Earned golden stripes playing music that is my life._

_I traded a wife's love for my music, she left and betrayed me, stealing decades of songs from my life. Everyone betrays me. I held my children in my arms till they forsaken me to these streets. Without my music, kin or even me._

_I leave my world possessions and advice to ever finds it. Jump now or forever regret the slow death and pain this forsaken world heaps on us._

I check the bedroll, canned food and other things wrapped within; the morning wet has not molded these things, or sun-bleached the paper. He left not long ago. Do I follow his advice, do I simply jump? I ponder the mortal see-saw.

Taking the roll and letter. I walk away; thinking hard; I let the miles pass me from urban haze and suburban sprawl to field tilled in anticipation of warmer days, rainy night and harvest glee. I walked till I laid in dirt furrows and cold spring nights. Watching new stars shine, the moons dance across her starry carpet. I watched the dragons and other animals drift by. The zodiac great plays, the myths and lore gifts my nights. I stare till sleep rips my broken mind.

I watched any and everything not my life. My belt tights, hunger bleeds to animalistic forage. Days pass slowly, nights longer still; till the furrowed fields and pastures turn to forest paths, I hunger for anything to center my beast. Calm the rage within me. Long for home? I know not of where or even if it exists. I long to see visions in my mind of people I think I know and like. But faceless forms haunt my broken mind. Do they like me, are they looking for me; am I worthy of their friendship, kinship or more? More am I worthy of being worth anything to anyone. I rage and ponder the hours mortal tick into oblivion.

The woods break to small glens of cabins, summer rentals or winter ski; or just abandon to the elements, left fates it seems. Like me? I walked till a lake so deeply blue brakes my soul and called for last vestiges of good within to surface. My reborn soul sings to be clean in mother earths clearest blue mountain lake: to let her cool blue waters wash away the past, my past and never look back into Dante's Cocytus.

My rebirth, baptismal, absolution to this mortal realm; with blue cool water on this summer's mountain day. Calls to me in silent glee. Glee that I harvest my soul; washing my past away. Washing the dirt and grim of reality and myth, washing away the demons in my mind and heart.

Making the broken man anew. Still broken and lost. I am me, right now, right here. I stand alone and sure that is where I am suppose to be. Naked on a mountain lake so blue it screams to me: go forth and find your star; to guide you to a new home, to guide you to yourself. I see the brown-haired woman in the drugs haze smiling at me. Words drift by on the winds "I love you maggot; my son be free"

Wandering thru towns, I take odd jobs, learn to hunt, fish and work like a dog. I'm gifted a six-string guitar for chopping wood one day. I find I play good enough to pay my way, most days. Chopping wood, cleaning yards, I wander the summer rebuilding the man, forgetting the past. I'm just Chris, no last name. Just old Chris the wanderer, lost troubadour these idyllic days. Just wandering thru the mountains.

I play a bar lost in the deep woods beyond the tourist crowd, beyond civil bounds. I play till a guy with dirty hairs ask if I'd like to join his band; "sure why not." We spend the days wandering the mountains, night playing for beer and food and a little gas money. We play and learn, break and learn anew the words haunting in my mind, playing from my calloused fingertips. The emotions and tunes ripped from deep chasms of my past; I think.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Our big break came on hot late August night. Off state Highway 530: Only Grunge and Bluegrass Music Festival fills Dorrington Bluegrass Music Park to brim. The gig is opening act number five of ten, the headliners are going to be late, we get fifteen extra minutes to play; expanding our set to one hour and forty-five minutes.

I walk on the stage, the crowd is indifferent to us; a lean down low, and rip the late afternoon is my pain, I glow radioactive with each cord shredded from my very soul. I sing about the woods, the birds, my life. The women I dream in the night. The blonde plastic witch with whip and chains; she loves the pain: love is for fools she proudly proclaims. Lost to all but herself narcissism amuck. I always wonder what her name was? The witch in the car with me that night so long ago. Why was I there? Why did I let her abuse me? Answers I can not fine, define or realize a truth about. I weep for my lost innocents.

A brown-haired mother lost in drugs, dejected in and of life. The brown-haired woman who screams 'maggot get out of my life' at me. Who tickle my nose, and toes, baking brownie to mark my birthday? The brown-haired woman who screams 'maggot I love you.' The brown-haired woman I suspect is my birth mother; the brown-haired ghost following me. Maybe? Possible? I may be right? A angel looking to put a star in my sights.

The blonde angel in white, the calm loving old soul. Who pushes and holds me at arm's length? Respecting my pain and fears. Her eyes aglow with love. Is it for me? do I dare to accept the love and is it real or pity; social burden, she picked a dud. She my mother too? I ponder hard, express the doubts and disbelief's banging in my mind? Graceful lady with graceful manners wanders thru my heart.

The songs flow out like diamond shards tearing me on stage; to emotions I would never willing make public or private. I watch the crowd come undone. I watch the power my songs have in the crowds. I revile deeper into my heart and soul. Letting the world and myself see the inner pain and fears, the doubts and denials. The truth wages of my sins.

I sing to a black-haired raven in my dreams, the pixie with a fashion thing. She dances, tease me to laugh, bask in her inner light. She makes me believe I could be alright. My fashion obsessed raven black hair jester: Is she my friend, a sister perhaps. I don't know; I hope I'm right. That she is my friend, at least a sister i hope. I beg the crowd to tell me. I rage into the darkness of their silence. "**ANSWER'S ME!" **

I sing about my mythical woman; I long to find, the girl who can breathe me to life, save my soul. Save me from the monster: Myself in mortal lights, the beast's wanting to be unleashed; Rampage thru the world unchecked, unbound. I sing about her; with longing: with dread: I will never find her; or worse the horror of finding her; Being rejected for the monster I truly am.

With needs so deep I cannot begin to understand or feel. I let loose the monsters, demons and such in the music, cords, melodies in my songs. I race to middle of the hollow man I am; waiting for the world to fill my void, finding me a place and time, to reclaim my soul, mind and health. I beg the world, the crowd to find me. No answers responded to my call. I am alone an always and before.

Dripping sweat, ripping my T-shirt to cool the demons unleashed. I tear thru the songs, scream my pains. My desires, wants reign over the stage. Bitter acid rain falls from my music and words. I drive thru the songs I wrote. To the ones still trapped in my brains. I look up and everything has changed. The sun is lower in the sky nearly dusk. I look around everyone has fled the stage. I stand alone, unshielded unmade.

It's just me on the stage. The broken strings on my beast tell a violent rage. I look about at the stunned crowd. Tear are flowing down faces, looks of pain and grief stare at me like mirrored caricatures of me.

The crowd roars and erupts in cheers. Has the band hustle me away, did I do something? The other bands look at me in fear and awe.

What did I just do? Why is this all happening to me? Why do I feel so unburden by the pain? The grief and monsters in my brain seem gone. My exorcism complete?

In my tent beneath the starry skies I breath and try to remember what I just did. What I just became. I can't take the closed pain of the walls surrounding me. The world bounces and shrinks about me in the thin fabric of the pop-up tent. This prison cell is too much to bear.

I step out, push thru the crowd and run for hills far away. Thru darkened woods, and tearing brush. I run and sing to release the pain, the pain of me in everything. The eerie shadows and dead-falls are old friends, I tempt the fates to take my worthless life and start anew on some sainted being. I let the world go, let the world expand away from me. I am alone, as I've always been.

Cresting the first ridge, seeing the moonlit silhouettes before me. Comfortable old friends, comfortable old hell's. I will find no truth, no clarity this night. Just escape, escape to where? Someplace no in my heart and soul nor mind or body. No place left for me to see refugee from the drama and storms of my mind and life.

I long for far hills, far away. An old army song, one boss taught, while roofing a summer cottage in the eerie dark forest in the shadow of the angry mountain (Mt. St. Helena) sings thru my mind. I release thru my mouth. Echoes chase me, the ancient red coats(British), blued and greyed soldier's(American Civil War): ghostly forms about me in the dark Cascades mountains. I sing; they sing with me, running with me. Thru the dark primal woods thru this eerie scene.

O'er the hills and o'er the main: Through Flanders, Portugal and Spain.: King George commands and we obey: Over the hills and far away.

Forty shillings on the drum: To those who volunteer to come,: To 'list and fight the foe today: And Over the hills and far away.

O'er the hills and o'er the main: Through Flanders, Portugal and Spain.: King George commands and we obey: Over the hills and far away.

Through smoke and fire and shot and shell,: And to the very walls of hell,: But we shall stand and we shall stay: And Over the hills and far away.

O'er the hills and o'er the main: Through Flanders, Portugal and Spain.: King George commands and we obey: Over the hills and far away.

Though I may travel far from Spain: A part of me shall still remain,: And you are with me night and day: And Over the hills and far away.

O'er the hills and o'er the main: Through Flanders, Portugal and Spain.: King George commands and we obey: Over the hills and far away.

Then fall in lads behind the drum: With colors blazing like the sun.: Along the road to come what may: Over the hills and far away.

O'er the hills and o'er the main: Through Flanders, Portugal and Spain.: King George commands and we obey: Over the hills and far away.

When Evil stalks upon the land: I'll neither hold nor stay me hand: But fight to win a better day,: Over the hills and far away.

O'er the hills and o'er the main: Through Flanders, Portugal and Spain.: King George commands and we obey: Over the hills and far away.

If I should fall to rise no more,: As many comrades did before,:Ask the fifes and drums to play: Over the hills and far away.

O'er the hills and o'er the main: Through Flanders, Portugal and Spain.: King George commands and we obey: Over the hills and far away.

Let kings and tyrants come and go,: I'll stand adjudged by what I know.: A soldier's life I'll ne'er gainsay.: Over the hills and far away.

O'er the hills and o'er the main: Through Flanders, Portugal and Spain.: King George commands and we obey: Over the hills and far away.

Though kings and tyrants come and go: A soldier's life is all I know: I'll live to fight another day: Over the hills and far away.

O'er the hills and o'er the main: Through Flanders, Portugal and Spain.: King George commands and we obey: Over the hills and far away.

Old Wellington, he scratched his bum.: He says, "Boney lad, there's had thee fun.": My riflemen will win the day: Over the hills and far away.

O'er the hills and o'er the main: Through Flanders, Portugal and Spain.: King George commands and we obey: Over the hills and far away.

** "Over the Hills and Far Away**" **John Tams lyrics**

I drop from the forest dark domain onto a concrete road, the sign says Concrete Sauk Valley two-mile. This must be the Skagit river. I've run twenty plus miles thru the hills and dark forest. Great Chris! just Great! I'll need to hitch hike back to the camp or call the venue and hope someone answers the phone.

I walk towards the north, maybe a town ahead with the lights on the horizon over the trees, since no car has whizzed pass me. Walking the paved road; I round a bend to find a SUV waiting, three hard men. I brace myself. I've been here before, a lot lately. The angry fans who don't get I don't find them sexy or desirable. I just don't feel the spark. Jealous boyfriends,' husbands' and even the occasional wife.

I tighten my fist its time to enjoy the pain again, I must be a sick a bastard to like the taste of my blood in my mouth and the sting in my hands. As I watch the other ones beg and weep for mercy and god to save them. Why didn't God save me. Why did everyone forsake me.

**"GREY STOP RIGHT THERE! WE ARE HERE TO TAKE YOU HOME**!" says the muscled blonde cowboy

"**Grey** who?"

"You are Christian Trevelyan Grey of Seattle. I'm Luke Sawyer: your Close Protection Officer. We work for you **MR. GREY**!"

"Work for me? Why? What are you talking about? I'm nobody, no one! I'm no-body, worth anything to anyone?"

"Mr. Grey, please get in the car, the family is worried about you. Please? We will get you medical help. Just come along peacefully."

I look to the forest; they could run me down easily in the exhaustion of my bones. I look to the right, the short woods and the river. Its deep enough to halt them. Or take me to heaven. Do I want to die? I don't know? I don't really care either way. I let the fates decide.

I dart right, I should get across and away. I need to get away a think. Think who is this Christian Grey? who is he? Is he me? was he me? why can't I remember?

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Luke-pov

I watch him swim across the river, we could follow, but he would fight, I'm not prepared to damage him more. Besides I only have five guys here, all buddies. This was supposed to be a calm, relaxed weekend chasing tail, chugging beers and bopping on tunes at the Music festival in the woods. After three months of physical therapy and two months in a cast.

I flash back to the night Grey tried to eat a gun. Jason' Tasered him: We were moving him to Boeing Field; so, His shrink Flynn come get him to a nuthouse in New Mexico. I can remember the shock as the Tow truck rammed us. The image of Lei tasering me. The horrible pleasure on her face as she jumped on my chest with spiked heels. The miserable animalistic screams as she stun-gunned Grey, over and over again.

The squeal of the SUV as rolled over my leg break the bone. The anger of seeing Reynolds head flattened. The pain of failure, losing the primary.

It wasn't till the nurse notified us were we able to back track. At some point near Mt. Hood, the SUV rolled down a cliff. The bitch troll was dead on impact, Grey survived. Lei has disappeared. He was lost for close to four months

Imagined my shock as Mountain Man Grey (bearded and long hair) stepping on Only Grunge and Bluegrass Music Festival at Dorrington Bluegrass Music Park main stage and rocking the house. It wasn't till he ripped his shirt off that I realized it was my Grey. I blitzed back to the cars to get my cell phone. Calling Taylor, I get voicemail, everyone just goes to voicemail. I leave a detail message with Grey House's weekend desk security.

I get back, my buddies and I work thru the venue security, we are close enough to see Grey dart from his tent to the forest. We chase, giving up after a mile in the dark woods of the hills. We regroup and plan on him coming out near Concrete on the Skagit River.

If he returns to the band area, we can find him easy. Gathering his stuff, we deploy: I leave two guys near the Concrete Sauk Valley rd branch off from 530 on the Sauk river. I've got two friends cruising on Harley's between. We will find him.

He walks around the bend in the road, we try to get him to come quietly. I don't want to damage him more than he is. We failed as he swims the river. I can only watch him crawl up the rocky beach headed into Concrete Washington.

BUzzzzzzz! BUzzzzzzz! BUzzzzzzz! BUzzzzzzz!

Looking at my phone, O'Joy Taylor has been heard from.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

c-pov

I walk thru the brush, paralleling the road. I see a semi with a mixed load, parked idling. I crawl up and hide in the load. Pulling a tarp over me. wet and cold, exhausted I sleep. Images of people and demons haunt me. I don't know who or what I am.

Jab!

Jab!

I wake to a sharp pain in my ass. I look up from the tarp. An old guy, terror in his eyes jabs me with a tire tester (like a baseball bat cut down). "Son you can't ride there. I don't know how the shifting load didn't kill you."

I get up and off the flat bed. I stretch. "Ten bucks for food would be a kindness"

He shakes in terror. Hands me a twenty. Backing away. "God son, you need help. Please there's a church down the side road about two miles. Talk to minster or just God. You need to talk to someone! Please don't hurt me?"

"I talked to God. He told me **No**. Thanks for the money and ride, where am I?"

"Neskowin" he turns an flees to the cab. I look about the rural roads and farm house spread about. He drives away. I start walking. Where I don't know. The signpost says Oregon, highway101. I buy food at the Neskowin Farmers Market. The owner gives me a blanket. I head for the woods and beaches south, maybe make California.

I camp in the lee of a rocky shelf peninsula surrounded by storm stunned trees. About two miles from town. I watch the dawn. Lost in the pains of body, mind and soul. I wish I had my guitar. I wish I had something to hold onto. I watch the sea bird soar the new dawn. Lost in the world that is me.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Taylor-pov

Since the storm in February; Grey has been MIA. The troll bitch stolen him from Reynolds and Luke on the way to the airport. I had arranged a private treatment with Flynn outside of Tao's. By the time I got notified; They had disappeared.

It wasn't till a nurse saw the Missing person poster an put the guy just awoken from a coma as Grey. The hospital just let him wander out the fringing front door. Long gone, we searched most of Washington state and Oregon to no avail. He just up and disappeared. The family has gone ballistic with everything. The doc had to be committed for several months during his MIA, now she's a hollow shell waiting for word.

Elliot cruise the state looking for his brother. Losing a little more hope every day. Mia search every hospital, medical facility, homeless shelter and encampment in the Northwest daily. Cary has a dozen PI hunting. I have Barney and Fred on this hunt full-time.

Roz is barely holding the company together. Gwen is barely holding Roz together. Andrea is wreck on medical leave with Barney. Gail is catatonic most days. Me, I am barely able to take the strain.

Now that he has surfaced as a musician, Dam!

The concert u-tubes are massive. The guy has some serious ability. He played for close to four hours. The people just rode his mastery of cords and words. Dozens of musicians have publicly inquired working with the new musical _Rimbaud__._ His disappearance has exploded the internet, sighting of him are all over the country and rumor mill has him everything from an intergalactic alien to mass murdering serial killer.

The songs are emotional open and extreme imagery. From the clear figures of Grace and Mia. Gail and me in his songs. The darkest songs are the one about Botox bitch troll. The emotional ripping of Christian mind must be extreme, for the private man to out his inner self so raw and intense. Lucky few people recognize the man with his long dirty hair, full beard, and scared torso. He looks like his been thru a barbwire fence and then some.

Luke's and Flynn believe he has purposely forgot who and what he is. When Luke confronted him, he didn't even know his name. We are hunting harder. We will find him.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

c-pov eight days later:

I watched the birds float on by, I watch the dawn raid the night. I lost the reason to begin and end. I stand a head out. Down the road I find another semi to hide out in. It drives long into days and nights. Till I stand and watch the dawn rise over the eastern sea. I stand on Georgia's Atlantic sand wishing I had a word to describe the pain I'm in. Wishing I had a guitar or piano to unleash the throbbing pain of being me. I remember the words from the note on the pier in Portland. I should have taken his advice.

I laid on the sand foul and starved. Starved of everything; food, humanity, love. I watch the seagulls float overhead. Watch the sun dry my skin and chap my lips. I watch the world fade away.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Savannah County Hospital:

"Doctor do you want to add anything to the chart?"

"No, patient is homeless and suicidal, but we don't have the beds. Once he's hydrated give him a voucher and send him on his way. Oh, also delouse the bay." The doctor leaves.

"He looks like the guy on U-tube" the high school voluntary says

"Yea, kind a? But he was on the west coast. Not Georgia"

"Still he'll be here over night. Let me just pop a snap and see if anyone agrees" the bubble gum airhead says

"Maybe he'll turn into a prince of something.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I walk out of another hospital; I walk stiffly towards a traffic crossing. I stand waiting for the light. A Black SUV stops in front of me. The window rolls down. The blond cowboy, great.

"Please Christian?"

I turn to a blonde lady, I know her? I think? Gentle matron love oozes from her eyes.

"Please Christian get in the car." She asks again, while an older hard guy stands behind her. I know him. Jason, I think?

"Jason?"

"Yes Christian."

"Just Chris" as everything floods back into my mind. The past I lost has returned. The damaged little boy is back and I'm pissed at myself. Pissed the rebirth has ended and failed.


	2. Chapter 2you better you bet

Fsog chp 2 you better you bet

c-pov

In the expensive hotel bathroom mirror; I look at myself. Long haired, ratty beard, hollow grey eyes, the hollow man. The same man I was yesterday and the day before, day before that. I'm wearing an expensive suit, and still I feel like it's not me; not who I am. Who the fu#$$K am I.? Still the hollow, broken man, I was yesterday, staring hard to see some glimmer of humanity, some spark of hope.

A charlatan in fine silks now. Without a roadmap or star to guide me, lost wanderer. Wasted human shit, fraud, coward, the broken child clinging to a dirty blue patch of blanket. Waiting to transform into the monster; sadist, uncaring evil shit hiding inside of me. That is all I see. Afraid that is all I will ever see. Afraid of everyone and everything, even myself; the monster beneath the skin chafes to get out. Chafe's (monster) to rampage and destroy, hurt all the happy loved people because I'm not loved or capable of being loved.

Only those burdened by society to pay lip service. Only those I pay and pity me, stand by me; thru this mortal fall to disgrace. I watch the reeds bend in the twilight morning grey. The sudden chaos of the river as the tide turns and ebb and rip to battle. Where does my compass take me? Where does my path lay? Rudderless, at the mercy of others pulling and forcing me to choose a path I know not if true or false. Just pain and misery under the false persona I use to hide within.

In the expensive hotel bathroom mirror; I look at myself. Gail offered to trim my beard and hair, I told her no. Long haired, ratty beard this is me, Enkidu lost in the wilderness; and not knowing; he's lost. Now he's lost in the civilized city. Sure, it's a mistake; I think? I preferred to be in the wilderness and lost and not know it. Then here: an knowing this is me, lost and forsakened.

A poem or essay courses thru my mind, lost prose, maybe Poe or some other heavy tome I once read. _'Lost am I in this world of man. Adrift among the masses; Lost inside my mind and banished from my soul. Lost in space and time. A Prisoner without parole. Flower bloom and wilt for me; Lost, forsaken, adrift. Never found, never too be missed.__'_ Some obscure thoughts from some book I read, years ago in my teens. I think. I look in the mirror. Who are you?

This fine silk custom Savile Row suit my false cloak. The Charlatan's cape to hide within and behind. To hide the man who has no clue who or what he really is. I've travel and grown: I've seen and experience amazing and horrifying things but yet I've never really grown, expanded or even gain insight into this long haired, ratty beard man in the mirror.

Staring hoping something will smack me in the forehead; make me see some spark of humanity; within hollowed lifeless eyes. It doesn't; even God has forsaken me. No, spark or serendipitous moment or deed has before; show me my humanity or colored my soul and heart beyond the darkest of black.

Why start now; I've never really gotten to the real me, the true me. The truth of my soul. The man behind the masks. Will I ever get to see if I exist? Or am I the caricature everyone sees: CEO, DOM, dutiful son, rich brother, sportsman, lost wandering troubadour. Who am I? Does anyone care for me?

I look out the window to the slowly ebbing Savannah river; drifting by uncaring my plight. I watch the reeds on the distance shore sway, back and forth. I watch the birds soar by, they have somewhere to be, someone to see. I watch the grey twilight breech to dawn's rise. I decide that I'm not going back just yet, I feel a pull to wander some more. A deep need to search for my guiding star. I feel like my fate is just around the bend. My undiscovered country awaits me.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

I take my wallet: ID and black AmEx card. Heading out; I flip a coin in my mind: to the airport the coins face cries to me. "I'll take the first plane out." The first place I can escape too. Let the fates decide my fall. The Muses guide my walk into the Airport Terminal

"Yes, sir can I help you?" Asks the pimply desk agent.

"First plane out?"

"That would be our non-stop to Orlando Florida, leaving from gate 4 in thirty-five minutes."

"one first class ticket please"

"three first class ticket. Chris?" Gail chimes in. I look down at my watchdogs. Should I be angry or upset. I don't know? I don't care? The agent hands me three tickets. I hand two to Gail.

I take my ticket and walk thru TSA security. I grab a Starbucks latté and walk toward terminal gate four. A dozen people on holiday mingle about. I walk to the window, looking at the small jet liner, vaguely remember flying these things. And wonder more on my turmoil and strife. "why?"

"Miss you can't sleep here" I turn to an asshole airline agent, yelling at a teenager, sleeping under the chairs.

Something drags me over. Some magical force makes my feet move; makes me want to know. Know what? Something causes me to lift the teen up, a young woman with blackened racoon eyes encasing the deepest blue orbs. They sear my soul, looking thru the walls and briars I erected. She sees me, the true inner self; the monster. Staring at me like I'm everything she wants and needs. I am the only thing in the world, universe. I feel the world shift and know this is my destiny; The fates have wrapped my life in this girl's hands. I kiss her.

Pulling back, she is everything to me. Her hands touch my chest. Her breath haunts my being. She makes me want, need to be a better person to be worthy of her. I see her ticket in her pocket. I pull it out; She's going to Orlando with me. Good I can't let her go. We walk to the counter. Looking at the name Miss Anastasia Steele. A name worth of this lady.

"I want Miss Steele upgraded to first class, now."

Once, her ticket's upgraded: we stand in each other's arms waiting the boarding call. "What is there to do in Orlando?"

She looks at me like I'm an alien from Mars.

"don't worry Chris, I'll have Andrea get hotel rooms for us." Gail chirps is all happy and loving.

"Chris, I like that, call me Anna."

"Anna do you need a doctor?"

"No. I need out of this state."

"Who did this?"

"My mother and her fourth husband, last week it was my step father, my ex best friend and my roommate's boyfriend. It's been beat up Anna this month. But I'm OK now. You're here. I've been waiting all my life for you."

I see Jason on his cell phone. I suspect the assholes that beat my girl are going to get some pain and retribution. I wonder how my family will handle this coed in my arms.

We whisper during the flights; all are sins and problems. All are dreams and fears. She makes me happy to be alive again. Finally, I have a reason to exist. A reason to be happy. I see the man in her eyes, the man I am and want to be.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

May (three months) early Vancouver Washington WSU:

A-pov:

I leave right after exams for an eight weeks long summer school class in Eureka's California Humboldt State University, 'Advanced Publishing in the Digital Age. The E-book Revolution.' I'm staying with friends of Rays. The elderly retired army couple is a good match for the short period, and for a little housework and dog walking I get room and board.

I return the last week of July to our apartment, Kate has a new boyfriend, John 'Doc' Benway(1). He seems wrong, looking and acting like I'm a threat, raw meat. I get the impression Kate blinded by his charm, I notice she's drunk all the time now, it's summer and I understand she wants to cut loose for the last summer of school. Before the world forces her to be an adult. But she seems more out of it than usually. I worry about her.

I spent the first weekend in August with Jose Jr. on a photo shoot down the Oregon coast. He has a commission to get sunsets at various beaches and overlooks for a tourist web site. We have a base camp site overlooking Gold Beach for the week. The first night he tries to hand me a beer repeatedly, I'm too dead tired to drink. Near dusk: He get irate and pins me to the dirt and force the liquid in me, I manage to spit it out and knee his balls. He rides on the ground holding his abuse family jewels. I dump the beer cans on his head. Adding a revenge kick for his betrayal, I thought he was my friend. A god-dammed close family friend; what will his father and Ray make of this behavior.

I pack my stuff and head to the Ranger's Entrance Hut, it has a payphone, because there is no cell reception out here. No one answers: not Kate, not Ray. Ray's been weirdly unavailable on the phone, distracted and vague when I finally get him on-line. My head hurts from whatever date rape drug Jose Jr. spiked the beer. The migraine is killing me; Ex-friend Jose Jr. tried to date-rape me. I fume at the realization.

A concerned snowbird couple headed into civilization, for dinner, drops me at the nearest Curry Public Transit bus stop, the first Coastal Express is at 8am. Coos Bay by 11: Coos Bay Greyhound station back to Portland by dinner. I spend a miserable foggy wet night in the weed just in the tree line from the bus stop. I follow Rays advice and hide out till the bus arrives in the morning. I see Jose's Sr. truck, Jr. borrowed for the photo shoot cruise by several times.

I'm bone tired and irritated beyond my twenty-one years of age as I finally get home around 10pm. The door is open and people flow in and out as I approach the apartment. Arriving to a roman orgy straight out some trash Euro-B-movie. Kate let them use my room and bed. I'm never sleeping in that diseased thing again. I retreat and sleep the night in Wanda.

It's eight a.m.; the party is still going. Even now girls flow in and out; handing Kate's boyfriend wads of cash. Packets of power, great drugs exchange hands. Asshole Doc is a drug dealing pimp. What is going on with Kate. It's not till the other girls arrive that I realize she's stoned; he's feeding her drugs.

I try to talk to her, reason with her, but Doc and the other girls just destroy her will to listen. I'm losing my best friend. I try to get her out the door. Doc and his girls try to stop me. I unleash the tiger inside on me and rage overtakes my mind. I must get Kate out of here. I drag her out, must send her home. Leaving a voicemail for her father. I put her on a bus for home. I'm battered and bruised from everyone, body and mind.

Returning to get my stuff, Kate's stuff is long gone and whatever was of value, stolen. She will regret dating assholes like Doc. She needs a good solid man to tame her and make her happy. I hope after rehab she finds him. Asshole tries to rape me, when I returned to get what left of my stuff. Daddy Ray taught me well after #3. I'm more battered and bruised; then before I left with Kate.

I move my stuff; what left of my stuff, a few books and odds and ends, every and anything of value is gone or destroyed. Wanda makes my way wander trip a nightmare of stalls and flat tires. Four cans of no-flat tire fixers later I drive into Montesano waking the dead with backfires and clacking. Wanda is dying. Home to daddy, who's been weird for weeks on the phone.

Xxxx

Rays-house:

I drive up to Ray's house, my teenage home. Ray meets me in the door, drunk and nearly naked, two girls younger than me, mostly naked scream at me, spoiling their fun. Ray is not listening; he is angry and his eyes don't look right.

"Ray are you on something?" I ask concerned.

"No. Your ungrateful bit##$H. Just like your mother, only this time I see what going on. Kate and everyone spilled the bean. Just like Carla. Get out! GET OUT!" My father screams at me. The two skanks egg him on.

He smacks me, pushing and beating me out the door. Laying on the front yard grass; I watch the last vestiges of my innocent and trust disappears; Slamming the front door: broke glass from the ornamented top part rain on the stoop. The front door Ray hand carved and crafted, master piece of his skills for all to see. I hand cut and laid the colored insert glass pieces. Our first father-daughter project after #3; our door now shattered. Metaphor of my life.

What is going on, why has everyone turned into drug addicts and evil shits. I need out of here. I need to find some space to think. I hide Wanda down the street at Mrs. Hennessey. She'll let me store it till I can get a new place or storage unit. I beg mom for a plane ticket to Georgia; my last refugee from this storm. I wouldn't try her, except I'm out of options.

Xxxx

The first week go ok, I heal from the bruises. The second week, mom arrange some double dates. All older, perverts. Mom is upset I'm not help Bob business by being nice to the old goats. Week three has me beating an old pervert at the country club. Sticking his hand in my panties, checking if I was frigid! The cad! I made sure the next girl doesn't have to say no a dozen times.

Bob and mom beat the shit out of me and lock me in the closet for several days. They move me to guest room, so I can get clean enough to restart dating. Bob tells Carla; I'm worth fifty grand; payoff for their loan. Fifty grands for my virtue. The old goat I dropped at the country club wants me. I listen to them barter my rape for money. The pervert wants me tied up so he can return the damage and then some to me. I should have gelded him when I had the chance.

I make a hole in the wall and sneak out of the locked room, get my passport, Id's and money. Uber to the airport. I have enough to fly someplace and hide out for a few days to determine what I can do to get my life on track, again. I fear without support I won't survive this like I did with #3. There's no  
Ray to hold me upright. I will take the first plane out this morning, hopefully before either wake, they seldom wake before noon. There alcohol and drugged fueled swinger lifestyle takes a toll. I should be able to get away.

At the airport, I lay under the seats. I hope? I just need to stay hidden till they call the flight, so no one finds me. Take's me back to hell in suburban Savannah at my mother house.

"Miss you can't sleep here" I turn to an asshole airline agent, yelling at a me, sleeping under the chairs. I stare up into a copper headed angel fallen to earth. Grey eyes staring at me like I'm everything he wants and needs. The only thing in the world, universe. Lifting me from the ground he holds me in his arms, strong safe arms. He kisses me. Wow! I thought the electric spark we have touching was wow, but nowhere near how WOW! His kisses are.

Pulling back, he is everything to me. My hands touch his chest. His heart beat sync with mine. He pulls my ticket from my pocket. He carries me in his embrace to the agent's counter.

"I want Miss Steele upgraded to first class, now." My name sounds so sexy on his lips, I feel my thighs rub in anticipation of his making me a woman. His woman!

My ticket is upgrade to match his. I cuddle into him, feeling the warmth and beat of his heart. Strong and sure. I feel things I've only read about. Mr. Darcy is real and in my arms.

"What is there to do in Orlando?" I look at him: where are you from and why don't you know about Orlando?

"don't worry Chris, I'll have Andrea get hotel rooms for us." A tall blonde woman next to a hard-ex-military guy close to the same age speaks. Who are they? She has kind eyes, I like her. I hope my judging people skill are better than before.

"Chris, I like that, call me Anna."

"Anna do you need a doctor?"

"No. I need out of this state."

"Who did this?"

"My mother and her fourth husband, two week ago it was my step father, my ex best friend and roommate's boyfriend. It's been 'beat up Anna this month.' But I'm ok now. You're here. I've felt like I've been waiting all my life for you." God, Anna sound more pathetic and needed. I look up into his eyes and see love and acceptance. I cuddle deeper as the first call rings in the Terminal. We board the plane. Sitting side by side I lay my head on his shoulder. We fit perfectly in body and soul. I for the first time in weeks have hope for tomorrow.

We whisper during the flights; all are sins and problems. All are dreams and fears. He makes me happy to be alive again. A reason to be happy. I look into my man's eyes, grey orbs deep and mysterious. This is the man to cherish and keep me safe.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

g-pov

We wake before the dawn; I check the laptop. "shit Christian is up and pacing" I bang on the bathroom door "Jason, Grey is on the move; Let's go!" I partial dress as the bathroom become free. Coming out of the bathroom I hear "Parks shake a leg, Grey's bolting"

We hurry after Grey, watching his escape in an Uber. Parks arrives a minute later in the rental. We hustle after him. The trackers in his cloths and wallet help us follow him. We see the airport sign, great just great. If he heads for the private air terminal sections, we're screwed. Luckily, he heads for the commercial section. Parks drops us at the Airport drop off. We run after Christian. Hopefully we can get tickets for the same flight. Walking up to him at the counter.

"Yes, sir can I help you?" Asks the pimply desk agent.

"First plane out?" Christian barks startling the teenage agent.

"That would be our non-stop to Orlando Florida, leaving from Gate-4 in thirty-five minutes."

"One first class ticket please"

"Three first class ticket. Chris?" I say. He looks down at me and up at Jason. Like he doesn't want too.

Emotion flash but for a second on his face, angry, upset, I don't care. I don't know? I don't care? Then just nods to the agent. The teenage agent hands him three tickets. He hands me two. We walk thru TSA security. He grabs a Starbucks latté; I get Jason and me coffees and Danishes. Jason followed Christian; he's not letting him out of his sight.

Terminal gate four has a dozen people anxious to start holiday, mingling about. Handing Jason his coffee and Danish, I walk to the window, looking at the small jet liner about to take us to the happiest place on earth. Hopefully some will rub off on Christian and Jason. They need some fun and joy after the last few months.

I've been on my Bluetooth since we cleared TSA. Andrea is getting us rooms somewhere in Disney, I told her plan on a month. Roz won't like it, but we aren't leaving till Christian is human again. I make clothing arrangement, and talk to Gwen. She's been a trooper thru this all. I think she's always been connected with Christian; being Roz wife has given her insight and access to help him navigate social interactions. She sees herself as helping Christian helps lessen Roz stress and strife. They both came from abusive starts in life. Both seem to understand the other's lonerism. She meshes well with Grace, Mia and me.

"yes, a couple weeks at Disney and Universal might help bring him back, we just have to find him a non-submissive girl to be with." Gwen buzzes in my ear.

"Miss you can't sleep here" I turn to a commotion, an asshole airline agent, yelling at a teenager, sleeping under the chairs. Christian walks over. He lifts the girl off the floor, hugs and kisses her? I stare stunned by his conversion; before the lifeless, suppressed emotionless little boy was all we saw.

Now his face is emotional, not just fleeting glimpse. But full on light house strength emotions and they are the good kind. I marvel at his sudden and intense bonding with this young girl.

I move closer, shit she looks just like the others, petite and long brown hair. She turns, I see a face bruised and battered, the remains of a broken nose and still dark racooned eyes. Someone hurt this girl badly.

I look to Jason, he's at a loss as well. I see Parks hurrying down the terminal causeway. I already called Stephen, our pilot on GREY-ONE, will get our bags from the hotel. I follow the couple; they head to the gate counter.

"I want Miss Steele upgraded to first class, now." Christian barks, I look over as does Jason at the ticket  
: Anastasia Steele. They cuddle, as Jason goes into overdrive on his phone texting, getting a background on this lovely young woman.

"What is there to do in Orlando?" We all look at him, He is more brain dead than I thought; how do you not know about Disneyworld or Universal. O'yea working twenty-hours a day, living a BDSM secret life; Closed off from friends, family and the world at large. Well Christian Grey! We are going to fix that! If Miss Steele's emotions, on her face, are correct: You're going to be a very Disney-holics person by the time we leave.

"don't worry Chris, I'll have Andrea get hotel rooms for us." I say, she stares into my eyes, I feel a deep need to mother this girl. I see in the caring blue eyes, a lot of pain has been heaped on this girl, but she hasn't lost her humanity or turned evil. This is the woman for my Christian.

"Chris, I like that, call me Anna."

"Anna do you need a doctor?"

"No. I need out of this state."

"Who did this?"

"My mother and her fourth husband, two week ago it was my step father, my ex best friend and roommate's boyfriend. It's been 'beat up Anna this month.' But I'm ok now. You're here. I felt like I've been waiting all my life for you." I see Jason move off to yell at Welch. These people are going to feel everything they did to this girl and then some; When, we get done with them.

"Gail, what's going on?" Gwen asks. Shit I forgot she's on the phone.

"Gwen! Scratch finding a girl. Christian just found her, in the terminal. It intense, she's perfect is every way. Not a submissive bone in her body. I'll sent you a picture later. They just called the flight. Bye."

I watch on the plane, they cuddle and whisper, from the body language they are letting the past go. The girl has a delightful laugh when she "no going to happen" or "some fu #$Ked up shit, Chris" my favorite on the flight. "Kiss those days long gone, I don't take orders well." Christian whispers something; Anna lightly smacks his cheek "Your ego is bigger than your little brain between your legs, Chris."

I had to cough to cover my laughing. Till the girl sober me up with "the kink yes, pain no" I fear the master of control and pain is gone: replaced with kinky sex god. Well who doesn't enjoy some kinkiness in their bedroom. I look at red faced Jason remembering our last School day in bed. This is going to be a fun month.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Anna-pov

We float into the cold dawn over the Savannah river. Headed south for Orlando. We cuddle, quiet words between us of past sins, strife and desolation of the one's soul. Words of words, meaning not to destroy; be the seeds of destruction of our futures but putting to rest forever the past delusions of innocents, debauchery, and obstacle's.

His need for control, the fears of abandonment, manifesting in his Dominate BDSM. His desire for my submissiveness "no going to happen" I giggle into his beard. First thing at Disney is knock down the scruffy mountain man mystic

He talks about his past, the troll, the Botox troll that raped and seduced him into the destructive path he has taken. Destroyed his chance to be normal. I doubt he can ever be normal. "some fu #$Ked up shit, Chris"

I mellow into him, letting my love brace and hold him up and know he is not alone. Know that I don't care if he can't do normal. Just be mine and let me be yours; Is all I need. "I love you, Chris. Let it be enough for now."

"I love you, Anna" he bites my earlobe. "I'm going to f #$%$k you so good when we get to the hotel"

"Chris, I'm a virgin, we need to take it slow, really slow"

"No. I want you now, here. I want you naked on a bed, begging for me to take you to heaven!"

I lightly smack his cheek "Your ego is bigger than your little brain between your legs, Chris."

"I will have you! I command it!" he spouts. I bite his lip and lightly punch his hard-little friend to get his attention off the soft parts of my neck. GOD! he wet's me, but I'm no slut or whore. No submissive to his beck and call.

"Kiss those days long gone, I don't take orders well." I punch a second shot, deflating his arbor.

"I want you to Chris, I want you forever. Slow and steady big boy. Slow and steady"

He purrs into my ear, sorry and plea's for forgiveness. I let him know. Everything is OK. I let him know we are good.

We relax in silence for a while, letting the emotions speak words we can't express and voice in the public confines of the airplane. I know Gail the housekeeper is eavesdropping on us. I suspect she cares a good deal for Chris. His family can't be the way his fears express them. But I thought my friends and family were better than what I've recently found. I will have to wait and judge them on merit; not on fears and irrational what ifs.

If they reject Chris, then they never will darken are door again. If they be true and loving people; family than I will help Chris rebuild the relationships,' reconnect. I wonder on my own family. My mother is gone forever. But what of Ray and Kate? I will have to wait and see on those two.

I fear we are pawns in some sycophant's game, revenge or something darker. I will let Gail's boyfriend Jason work on that for now. I have a damaged boyfriend to rehab and introduce to the magic of Disney. I have a damaged little scared girl to rebirth, into womanhood.

The pilot blares we are making final approach. The idiot stewardess makes a pass at my man. I stare her down and away; meek little Anastasia is gone, fierce Anna has arisen, breathing fire and defending my man. Defending my relationship.

He doesn't notice, the shank has no pull on my man, he has eyes only for me. He whispers hot kinky things he thinks I will enjoy. Silver balls, taming my ass and something called sensual spanking and flogging. Light bondage to some music thing; Thomas something or other. They wet, leaving me breathless. "the kink yes, pain no"

We land and head out to the hotel. It's going to be a good day the sun brightly shines on the pale blue sky. Wisps of clouds bisect jet contrails trail. As birds hunt before the heat of day drives them into the shade. I watch my man lighten with ever second and mile behind us. I see the man I want and need. Rubbing the back of my thumb with his. Watching him blossom, remerge into the light.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Has we board the SUV headed for the hotel: I must make decisions based on the future; the future with him. I must take a leap of faith and trust these people. I drag Gail into the back seat forcing Chris and Jason to sit together. "Chris? I'm sure Jason has things to update you on and discuss." I cuddle into Gail

Whispering very low "Gail. I need to see a GYN, about you know BC?"

"Our you OK?"

Blushing red, very red "I'm a virgin, I need birth control. Advice?"

She types frantically on her phone. "Ah the very sorceresses Andrea has come thru." She whispers back mischievous.

"Andre?"

"your boyfriend personal assistant. Andrea Millar, she dating GEH Barney Sullivan, resident super nerd and IT genius. She works miraculous; having us in the Wilderness Lodge Yosemite suites." Gail soothe my fears and woes; like a mother should.

"Jason! Pull to the side of the road, Anna and I are taking the second SUV on some errands" Gail demands

Christian become agitated and unreasonable till I kiss his fear away.

"Now Chris I expect you and Jason to work out all the kinks and problems by the time we arrive. I don't want anything stopping our Disney immersion. That being said! caveman! Beard no more than 1/3 thick, neck clean; more Captain Nemo less Duck Dynasty dimwit. Hair as you like it as long as you have whitewalls(2). Got it. There should still be time to get tea at England and see the Land and Sea. Questions? Jason will explain, or one of the cast members. Jason I would like to water taxi to monorail and then to Epcot. Good. Have fun, we will and you will like my clothes selection. _I guarantee it,(3)_ now git gone."

I say turning and hustling to the second SUV with two local CPO and Parks. Gail is snickering till we are in the car, then we burst with laughter. Where and who was that girl. I marvel at my take charge persona. I could get use to seeing confusion and love on my mans face. Its so sexy.

We take the SUV to a private OB/GYN Dr. Fredrickson; she asks very concerned questions of my bruise and my condition. I don't let Gail out sight or my hand. I get a shot for birth control, some condoms for a day or two and some topical rubs to lessen the pain before and after. I laugh as we leave at the Dr. shocked face when she confirmed I am a virgin, probably for no more than five-hours, given how horny and hot a copperhead man makes me. I can't wait to rip his cloths off and try all the things in those women magazine I've read or hear Kate proclaim. I wonder if I will like the taste of his cumm, or how will he like the taste of mine. I purr like a cat in heat.

We pull into The Mall at Millenia off Americana Blvd. Magical Andrea has arranged a personal shopper to get me cloths. Entering Neiman Marcus, we're greeted by a large statuesque black woman, Mrs. Willena Hotchkiss. She leads us to a private viewing and changing area. She has several items I like and lot I don't.

We argue for a few minutes; she puts her finger to her lips. "Your right! You're a simple throwback style girl; clean lines, bright subdued colors and patterns. A Lauren Bacall, Audrey Hepburn, a Mystery wrapped in an enigma. Yes. I see that now. Girls remove everything on racks two and four. Think Bacall, Hepburn, Audrey not Kate. Veronica Lake as coed dream."

The clothes fly in are more suited to me, I hate spending his money, but I must; besides I don't want to embarrass him more with my poor ways.

"Willena! No two-piece bathing suites. I'm a one-piece girl always have been always will be. Maybe a half halter top for sunning." I see Gail laughing.

"What?"

"Christian will not know what to make of you. All these clothes (sweeping with her hand) are so unlike anything he has experience with his mother or sister."

"There all wrong for someone of his position in life. I knew it! I couldn't compete with his high society world." I want to cry and find a hole in the ground to hide in.

"Anna! Stop what I mean is you are original, simple cloths makes you shine brighter than all the high fashion and fancy skanks. You dress for comfort, both inner and outer. You're perfect for Christian. You are breath of fresh air. That why all the thong micro mini bikini skanks at the pool can't hold a torch to your elegant simple one piece. Clothe add to your beauty, not hide ugly pettiness. You are perfect."

"She's right Anna. Your style enhances your looks, your body. You don't need fancy or loud adornments to hide behind or to be noticed. Never let anyone tell you different. Simple clean lines and colors makes you perfect you. So, you two ladies head over to lingerie and get something to sweat those boyfriends of yours."

We wander over I get panties and Bras I like and think will over heat a copperhead boy waiting at Disney for me.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I changed into a nice sundress and stocking, Canvas Vans. Perfect Disneyworld hiking clothes. I find my man, clean neck, neat trimmed beard and copper hair short and clean over the ears. I kiss him like I've not seen him in decades. He sweeps me to the concierge on the club level to get my Disney-passport. We head out at the Water Taxis on The Red Launch Pier. There we met our Disney guide; a big rough tough grandfatherly guy with bright eyes of mischievous like Ray had. My heart aches, Chris hold me tight to him.

"Good afternoon folks. I'm Chuck Alowishous Rostowski; Feel free to call out Chuck or Rough, I answer to both. I'm a Deputy Security Manager in charge of high-profile guest and the Disney SWAT team who does moonlight a Guest Host and Guide. I did ten-year Marines Embassy Detail, twenty-four in the Secret Service. I spent the last five leading the Secret Service Hostage Rescue Team. SO! Relax, Your and mine people have you save. Now I understand Miss Steele wants tea in England, by way of the Monorail. Your Taxis awaits Madam."

"Rough? It's Anna and Chris. Mamma makes me to old and scared. So? let us be off." We get in the boat. As we motor away: I point out Discovery Island once bird sanctuary; now closed and abandoned to the north. Some of the structures in ruin and decay can be seen. The under the Monorail line and over the underwater World drive road way. Entering the vast man-made Seven Seas Lagoon; we circle behind the red trimmed Richard F. Irvine ferry.

Landing at the south docks: we walk to the Monorail station and board the lead car for the Epcot express. A VIP treatment; We cruise pass the cars and traffic on Worlds drive and thru the forest and glades of the wild parts of the park. Looping around the Worlds at Epcot we walk from the Monorail station, our guide gets us pass the lines and int the park, we tour the **The Seas with Nemo & Friends** (formerly **The Living Seas**)Oceans watching the fish and exhibits playing like teenagers we both never were.

We tour **The Land:** Taking the narrated boat tour thru the greenhouse and plants, Chris talks about his grant to my school WSU in the Agra-department, finding ways to feed the world. My man. We enjoy the flight motion ride Soarin Around the World. We act like kids, enjoying each other and the park. Barely aware of our chaperones and CPO.

We walk past the Imagineer Future World to the World Showcase. We relax in the air conditioned O Canada! A Circle vision 360-degree movie of Canada's cities and scenery. Browse and playing with the cheap stuff of the Wooden Cart. Goofing with the knick-knacks. Wander thru lush **Victoria Gardens** which are adjacent to the Hotel du Canada. Marvel at the Totems; Gail get pictures of us goofing with the stoic totem pole depicts three stories of the "Raven" tricking the "Sky Chief".

We finally head into the England as the bells and clock strike three. **The Tea Caddy** provide snacks and tea to mellow on a bench watching the waters, watching the boats cruise past. Cuddled in my man's arms. We wander into France, watch another movie Goofing more in the gift shops; get a artful Parasols with my name: I have Chris get Gail, his mother and sister one as well. Laughing he get one extreme loud and gaudy bright for his brother, Elliot big and bold with sparkly-sprinkles.

We wander around lake; then head home to the Wilderness Lodge for late dinner. Taking Minnie mouse themed Vans, we head back to the hotel. I cuddle in Chris arms. Lost in his warm and light. Soon, very, soon we will make love and be one forever.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

1: Doc Benway: recurring character in many of William S. Burroughs novels. Just Reread the Naked Lunch and Kerouac's Big Sur.

2: Whitewalls on a haircut: Military term for a line of skin over and around the ear about a ½ to one-inch wide clean shave band.

3: I guarantee it: from a cheap suit USA tv commercial.


	3. Chapter 3 rage against the Moons

Fsog chp3 rage against the Moons cruel light

1\. I'm using Disneyworld as it is today (pre-star war): took a lot of flak during Tinkerbelle about when and what was operational.

2\. Several trolls have repeated the same criticism as before. If you can't put your name on it, don't bother to post it. I just delete it.

3\. To everyone who does post, thank you I do take to heart and appreciate the words negative or good.

Orlando FL. Disneyworld

Gail-pov

We pull up to the Disney's Wilderness Lodge. Andrea has them in the seventh floor's Yellowstone Presidential Suite and us down the hall in the Yosemite Vice Presidential Suite. With security in two other rooms near the elevators. How Andrea got the four club level rooms for the month is amazing. In two weeks,' we will control the area around our rooms floor.

Despite my eavesdropping; I started to worry till I see the girls face. Contentment and courage, love and adoration are plainly on display. Christian's face relaxed and contented, love and for the first time i've ever seen on him. Peace, he is truly at peace with himself and the world. In the short plane trip; the afternoon in Epcot, the world has shifted. I smile, the dark days are over, knock on wood!

I marvel at how quickly this morning has changed the world. From the time spent alone with Anna; I now understand her fears and strife. The insecurity and low self-esteem. That mother of hers will rue the day I stepped up. If not me, Gwen or Andrea will tear her a new asshole in the middle of her gold-digging skank forehead.

I hold Jason hand. Squeezing it. This is going to be a good month. I flash to that dreaded night, standing behind Jason as he tasered Christian, the gun in his mouth. The horrorable reality that he had fallen to. The look on Christian face, even passed out from the shock. Pain, such deep and un-imaginable pain and lost.

Realizing all the miss opportunities to change his path. Watching a good man come undone from reality, watching his fall into hell. Knowing that an evil woman had led him to the brink of the abyss. How we couldn't bring him back to sanity or reality. Lost little boy, lost again like he was four. I cried for hours, even worst when Jason told me about his kidnapping by that evil woman. The lost, the not knowing what had occurred. Broke everyone: everyone who knew what a good man he was; a son, a brother, boss, a friend. Without him, we were lost. Then His turning up from the coma and the concert; and us losing him again and again, sometime by just hours.

I had to hire a temp housekeeper to maintain the apartment. After his second disappearance; I wrecked the red room. Left it gutted and destroyed. I didn't care if he came back to find my vandalism. This room, this red room of 'pain,' destroyed him, taken him from me, us, his family. Everyone! This room the bitch troll's evil ways created. Destroyed him. Destroyed us all.

The horror on Graces face seeing the red room; the abject pain and wailing of Carrick as ever conflict, fight, argument, unsaid words crashed down on him. I know him and Christian had problems, but this poor father's desolation and abject misery; another victim of the troll; A destroyed broken man riding on the hall floor in pain so bad and unquenchable. Spoke of his deep and true love for his son, not being able to tell him, consoled him. The Bitch troll had claimed four more lives.

Xxxxxx

Now as we return from Epcot  day-one: we are a happy crew. I arrange on the road; a room service dinner in their Yellowstone Suite. Let the two have some privacy. Anna seem to have a good head, common sense to handle our mercurial Christian. We talked a lot on the ride from the Mall. She is going to rock the Grey family for sure.

Several time in the Epcot; he had panic attacks over the crowding and bumping; each time Anna calmed and brought him back to sanity and happiness. He seemed to come alive on the boat trip thru the green house. Talking about his grants and vision for relieving world hunger. About his vision for helping the poor and lost in the world. Anna looking into his eyes, deep awe and love. She cares about those things, not money or perks, but from her face it's all only Christian Grey.

After France; Watching them wander around the large manmade World Showcase Lagoon. It's a good thing I copy Anna footwear, the 1.2-mile walk was tiring, to many days and nights worrying, not enough gym time. But I'm sure we will clock some good miles here during the next month.

They seem to take visiting four lands enough for today, I suspect this will be our lite day. I have a good soak, as Jason sorts our room service dinner. Wilson, one of the Seattle crew just arrived is heading the night shift. He's not a Disney kind of fellow, so I suspect he prefers the night shift and chasing MILF around the various water parks during his off shift.

Jason come in a sit on the toilet, a worried expression on his brow. "Anna step dad. Welch put him in rehab the three day after Anna flew to Georgia. Anna's god-father in Afghanistan called him for a favor."

"Well the other shoe?"

"Seem the Rodriquez family was on vendetta about Major Steele turning Jose Sr. In for theft and rape in Second Iraq War. Once the matriarch of the family died last year of cancer, the scum husband put his plans into action. With drugs and underage sex and alcohol on the father; they isolated Anna. Had an evil shit cousin named Carlo Rodriquez; called himself John Doc Benway, took out Anna's roommate with drugs and alcohol."

"Her mother?"

"That's a separate revenge, seem she blames the girl for all her woes and the incarnation of her third husband, the love of her life. Scumbag: beat and tried repeatedly to rape twelve-year-old Anna in Las Vegas. He gets out in three years. I call a friend to see if we can't remove his parole for another twenty years."

"anything more current on the mother?"

"Andrea has Barney ripping their finances and money to dust. Foreclosures before the end of the month, public outing of their lifestyle and friends. Making them homeless and beggars. Hoping she goes Pro(prostitute); so, she can spend some quality prison time."

"Leaving only Lei and the roommate?"

"Welch think the roommate's family sent her out of the country for rehab. Kavanagh Media doesn't want another scandal. Welch is searching. But I don't hold much hope."

"I talked to Mia; she says Elliot has some mystery girlfriend hold up in his Kirkland house. Must be serious if its lasted this long."

"god! I hope the Grey kids can calm down. I could use some peace and quiet"

"Liar, you'd be bored stiff in a month. I just wish Mia and Luke would get their act together. One angst ridden Grey kid at a time. Two is just over load."

"talk to Grace?"

"No, chicken out, had Gwen talk to Carrick. Hopefully sooth her feathers; she still see's me as rival, not an ally."

"Speaking of Luke; he's due tomorrow. Roz had him shadow Mia's cooking class. Seems some people took an unhealthy interest in her. We're not sure who or why right now. But she may come out next week, despite holding the rest of the family back. Andrea got them a cabin on the lake below."

We relax in silence; I'm think about inviting him into the tub to rub me the right way to a very dirty clean.

"BUZZ" "BUZZ" "yes. What? Just shadow them. Alright"

"The kids are going to the pool and watching the Electrical Water Pageant from the Geyser Point Bar and Grill patio. We should go down there." "We will do no such thing! We will sit on the balcony and observe. The crew has them covered; Anna is smart girl. Let them be, give them space to grow the relationship. For now."

"help me up."

He helps me up out tub, wiggling back into his body; making sure Jason is a hard-little man. I bend over the tube. I hear He breath choke and feel his hands and soon his big soldier enters me. After three massive orgasms; he spills his seed. Making me happy. I can get my man off. We dress in a robes. I heading out to the balcony, sipping a nice Sangria wine, snacking on Western Chips with chili-queso dip and fresh salsa.

Jason brings our dinner out to the café table. My grilled chicken Caesar Salad with house-made croutons and cream Caesar dressing; Jason Caesar Salad has grilled shrimp with his Slow-smoked Pulled Pork Sandwich on a brioche roll with western slaw minus the usually house-made chips

We watch them frolic on the 67-foot waterslide slide. Splashing in the big pool. Lazy laps and PDA. I can't wait to try it. Mellow in the hot whirlpool and watch the Fire Geyser.

"BUZZ" "BUZZ" "Yes. What? Here?" Jason hands me the phone.

"yes?"

"Gail its Rough? The Housekeeper when to do down-turn, and found an issue. Brought it to me. I hazard to asks?" He sounds like a typical dad; I know he has four sons and six grandsons with no girls. So? I know he's unsure of what to make of this female occurrence.

"Rough. They are consenting adults. Christian is Anna's first. The sheets are a casualty of their love. She is fine, they are frolicking in the pool as we speak. If its problem stop-by: we can discuss it in person."

"No. I understand. We just don't get many. Uhm? hmmm? I understand Grey's disappeared for most of this year, a nervous breakdown was rumored. Uhm? Lots of talk about alternate sex life, leather and such?"

"I've heard those rumors. If Christian hurt Anna; I'd be the first one gelding him. Most are bullshit!"

"Listen to me: They are both in their first relationship, they are young, an going thru a lot of external shit. Being here in Disney is a chance to build a new life and make a fresh start. Anyone interfering, hindering, or making me pissed off with this is going to get run over and bulldozed into a bottomless hole in the swamp. That's being said: they are frolicking in the pool like the young lovers they are. As for his disappearance and supposed breakdown; those are private and our business. If it's a problem, speak up and we will find another guide?'

"no need Gail. I understand, I feel very grandfatherly to both of them. I hope they can make it."

"We all do. See you bright and early tomorrow. Have a good night."

"Same to you both. Goodnight."

"So, I take it Anna no longer a virgin?"

"nope, Apparently so. I see them necking near the Fire Geyser walkway, other side of the kiddie pool."

We both look at them, Jason pulls a binocular set and hands me one. We can see them clearly having an intimate moment. She looks radiant; womanhood in full bloom. I feel so motherly. Her first time when very well.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

A-pov

The doctor suggested a Colloidal Oatmeal Bath to help my skin recover from the bruising. SO! I soak in the tub filled with oatmeal. Feels weird and kind like a breakfast entree for cannibals. Letting my sore and bruised muscle relax, anticipating the coming sex. God? I'm daydreaming about sex with a real live guy. A Sex god from his whispers and magic fingers, I nearly screamed in the O'Canada film. The boy has some talent. I've never come before, let alone twice in as many minutes, in public, fully dressed.

The Mr. Darcy of my dreams was never a kinky sex god fallen to earth. I never imagined Mr. Darcy with fur and suede floggers, silver sex balls or butt plugs. The things that man showed me on his phone when no one was looking. I could have set the greenhouse on fire with my red face. The reality of my Mr. Darcy is much better, sexy and intense. I watch the clouds thru the window glass, a ghost reflection of me. Plain Jane Anastasia Rose Steele, way wander WSU English Literature major; what am I going here.

Falling behind my senior year, as I'm missing the fall semester. I should be able to make it up. Gail promised 'The Amazing Andrea' will look into getting my classes waivered or online equivalents to make up my requirements. Gail and Andre seem more at easy as I voiced my need to further my education and get a job.

I may have a billionaire boyfriend, that doesn't negate or change my dreams of being a book editor. I just have to adjust to reality as Jason explained during a quiet moment in the France waiting on Gail and Graces personalized parasols. Security was and is now a constant and necessary reality. That I would have several CPO to ensure my safety, even against Chris; I can barely understand, but must trust Jason has my safety in his heart.

I can see the fatherly worry, he related how his daughter is his world and Gail and him see Christian and me as their pseudo kids. I could use some good fatherly comfort. I remembered my missed Godfather birthday phone call and care package; I failed to get either done in August. The Brigade Sergeant-Major in the dust plains of Afghanistan must be worried.

Since his wife died ten years ago; his son, a quiet boy in love with books and paper clocks, of lupus eleven year ago. She never recovered, I remember the sweet caring woman, broke by the slow death of her son. The rough tough Sergeant-Major has become family we are his only family. Staying holidays and birthdays; he even took this deployment so he could attend my graduation in the Spring. I begged a phone from Jason and managed to get into him, despite the time difference.

Ray is in Rehab; Seems Jose Sr. Held a grudge despite Marie's (Jose sr. Late wife, died of cancer year before) intervention. Jose Jr. Is on the loose. And Kate's boyfriend was really a Rodriquez cousin. So, everything was staged and intentional to harm us. I fume but realize that Rays fears about Carla and me were false seeds planted by Jose Sr. I fume, till my godfather reads me the riot act on dutiful daughter long distance.

He's shocked, I have a boyfriend; He'll have some army buddy out west check him out. I tell him I'm fine, better than fine. But he is worried, and he doesn't need to be. I know Jason was Army, I let them talk. I sent Chris for some water and popcorn. He doesn't need the bawdy army speak as Jason argues with my godfather. Chris heads back over the bridge into England to the street cart, buying more time. My Godfather is much calmer and mellow. He wishes me luck and lets me know he'll be home for Christmas. Where it will be, I will let him know.

Now as the water cools and I feel the need for my man, the itching between my legs screams for release. I watch some hawk float by the window, some fisher hawk, I think. I feel the shift in the force, I turn to a very fearful boyfriend.

"**YE**s?" My voice squeaks.

"Are you OK?"

"Yes, help me up to wash the Oatmeal slime off me." He lifts me up and places me in the shower. I watch him move away. The wantonize takes me.

"Slave, your lady desires to be washed! Toot! Toot!" I crow in my best Jane Eyre's.

"Yes, My lady. Let me get properly attired" stripping his cloths. Hot body, I should have made him soak in oatmeal for his angry scars.

He washes, and plays my body on his fingers. On his lips to my hot skin. He kneels and takes my garden under attack. I wither in the hot water. Letting the world disappear to color pin wheels of shapes and forms. Magically.

I wake being carried caveman style to bed. We are going to have sex, honest to god fornication's! SHIT!

"PUT me down!" He stops lowering me down. I rush back into the bathroom. Emerging to a very nervous and angst Chris.

"This needs to be applied before you know; you know? And use these" handing him the topical pain medication the doctor gave me and some condoms.

"I thought you got the shot?"

"I did! The Doctor said use condoms for a day or two to make sure it worked. Besides she said the first time can be messy."

"OK, I thought you didn't want to do it?" Chris looks down.

"Chris lean over." He does, I resume my over-the-shoulder position, my caveman wants to play. Flubbing me on the bed, he dives into my ladies' garden again. God this feels great. So hot and perfect. His tongue and sucking driving me crazy.

I feel my self-falling into heaven "Anna!" As I land on the floor with a very concerned Christian above me on the bed. I watch terror and horror on his face. I must stop this and quick.

"OK Anna sex rules, number one. Christian Grey tongue on my pussy makes Anna scoot when horizontal, therefore and forthwith Anna should be head toward backboard. Got it Christian of the sex contract and rules?"

"HAAA, OK, HAAAAA. Ok let me help you up." He helps me up. I get with my back to the wall, watching the indecision.

"Boyfriend! I was very close to heaven, get me there and I will reward you with my token." I funnel my best H. G. Wells from Warehouse thirteen,

"you still want to. Cool. La petite de mort" he dives back down, rocking the bed with his arbor. I grab his hair pulling his face up.

"Little dead's of me?'

"La petite de mort, orgasm to unconsciousness! I want you to go there and beyond. If you want to?"

"well I was so close. Teach me kinky sex god; demonstrate your kinky fu #kery." He does into overdrive. Lips, tongue, fingers. Got damn! I never thought ass play was for me, but he's converting me; as his pinky drives me over the cliff and into a swirling universe of colors, sounds, beautiful shapes and unicorns.

I wake to Chris putting on the condom and slowly sliding into me, I feel a slight pain and then I'm his, forever. We wake sometime later, sated and sore, but how deliciously sore. We shower, dressing for the pool and the late-night snack and light show. We wander down to the 67-foot waterslide slide. Playing and enjoying the water and our bubble. I thought the adults would show up, but it's just the CPO. They are letting us be us. I start to really love them for that. Mellow and play PDA in the hot whirlpool.

We watch the Fire Geyser, encased in his arms. Watching the stars shine bright over the lake and the forest and swamps beyond. Chris whisper mythology and stories of the constellation above us. After a bit: We wander down the walkway to Geyser Point Bar and Grill patio. Chris got us a patio table for the light show. We snack on Teriyaki Chicken Wings With Soy, Sesame and Green Onions; Edamame with Chili-Salt sipping44° North Mountain Huckleberry Vodka, Bols Crème de Cassis, fresh Lemon Juice and Cranberry Juice, the resorts Huckleberry Punch

Joking and teasing the other, from mystery of my perfect all body tan in a one-piece suit. To his unrulely hair and panty dropping laugh and smile. I mimic his smirk and stoic at the teenage waitress hoping for a sugar daddy moment. We just kiss and act like runaway teenagers as the Electrical Water Pageant sails past us. We wander back to the hot whirlpool before heading upstairs.

As clock flips to one A. M. I drift to sleep. I'm going to be very sore in the morning, but so is my man. My first blowjob had me creating Anna's sex rules number two: "Anna's mouth makes Christian leg rubbery and unable to stand up. So Christian under the oral exam must be seated enough to not crash to the floor on top of Anna during his La petite de mort."

One thing about loosing my v-card; it wasn't boring or uneventful. I snigger in my sleep. Tomorrow, tomorrow just hours away.


	4. Chapter 4threads rewoven

FSOG chp4 threads rewoven

Elliot first week in August, Tacoma

I have to break my search for my brother to deal with a skittish client about a 10-millions dollar remodel in Tacoma. I drive out to his Forest Beach compound. I take state-16 out of Tacoma, off at Shore Acres onto 56th NW thru Midway. Cruise's on 40th NW thru Artondale, turning onto 92nd NW to 35th NW thru the picturesque Arlette. Touring into uber rich enclave of Horseshoe Bay on over rated Horseshoe Bay Drive NW. I skirt the southern part of Horseshoe Bay on 28th CT NW turning onto 115th NW. I pull up to the gated driveway of a media mogul just before Forest Beach Dr. NW.

Before the gate on the ground; a nightgowned woman lays on the concrete. I get out, she looks alive but passed out. A beauty to rival the Old-World Master's, she is everything I find attractive. Checking her out, I have to shake myself. Checking her pulse; an electric current is overwhelming. This woman, a girl really affects me, calls to me, making me want to do everything for her, safe her. I stumble to the gate keyboard; I ring the buzzer on the gate, no one answers.

I need to do something; I can't let her died. The thought aches so hard in my chest. I do what I need to do to save her and me. I put blonde in my truck and head back to Seattle, mom or Flynn will know want to do. The whole trip I feel responsible: and needy. This woman as she mumbling sorry and whimpers of woe to some girl; means everything to me. I wonder if she's gay.

Arriving at my Kirkland house, I put her to bed. Calling Flynn, he comes over with a nurse. He decides after some blood work and the girls mumbling that she was in a rapid detox protocol. She'll need sleep and care. Torn between my brother and this girl. I chose her, I'll deal with Christian when he surfaces; Please God make that soon. I lay next to my goddess, cuddling her, it seems to calm us both. My girl, my girl is all I need. I sleep for the first time in months like a baby. She feels so good in my arms and so right.

Xxxxxxx

After four days, my lady Kate is up and about. She is torn up about destroying her relationship with her best friend and roommate. Seems an asshole boyfriend was drugging her without her known till she was addicted. Kept her stoned and drunk for weeks. When I get my hands on this Benway asshole; I'll bury him.

Lucky her BFF had more brains and balls to get her out and sent her home to daddy. Daddy left after a day to Sunny Italian Rivera with two personal assistants. Mommies in New Zealand getting her chakras center or some shit at a three thousand US dollar a day resort, with several up and coming fashion designer, who are just coworkers and friends; like anyone buys that BS. Mommy design high end custom wedding gowns, more interested in boytoys than her daughter.

They left the housekeeper in charge of Kate; She was too busy watching Filipino Telenovel; too watch Kate or answer the damn gate buzzer. I read Kate's asshole daddy the riot act of demanding I show up at his house when he's in damn Italy. The contract and design are set, if he wants changes or some other rink-dinky shit its twenty percent surcharge to talk about it and thirty to do it. That straighten his dumb ass up. Then I unloaded that I'm his future son-in-law. Kate told him that I was it for her. She found heaven and her prince. When I meet my future father-in-law, all the in-laws; I'm kicking ass and taking names. Since I don't need their money or social position, then have no pull on us.

The week flies by in quiet words, long make out sessions and heavenly sex. This is the girl for me, forever. Monday, I'll ask Jason to check on the roommate. She's not answering her phone nor is her dad down south of Tacoma. Friday, I worry about not being they're for my family and friends. I was supposed to go with Luke to a music festival out at Dorrington Bluegrass Music Park. Help him over Mia.

Xxxxxxx

Monday:

I cried for several hours, now I throw pig iron, looking out my window onto Lake Washington. Christian showed up at the Dorrington Bluegrass Music Park music festival. The U-tube video is heart breaking has he express such raw and unhealable emotions and pain. Mom is nearly catatonic again. I can't take seeing her like that ever again. I just can't.

Luke nearly caught Christian, Jason says he doesn't seem to know who he is, maybe that's why we couldn't find him. Questioning the band proved futile; they know next to nothing about what or where Chris was during the lost months. Welch is backtracking as best he can, hoping to find some clues; It takes up all of his time, no time or manpower for Kate's problem right now. All Company and family energies and resources are hunting for my lost brother.

I stay cloistered with Kate; not going across the lake to Bellevue to Grey Manor. I can't bear the pain and weight of parents and grandparents. Mia talks to me for several hours, getting everyone a phone conference with the adults. I'll bring Kate over next week, maybe Tuesday; by then hopefully we have caught up to Christian by then.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Luke-pov

Second week of august:

Montesano, WA

Welch and I stand outside the Steele home in nowhere Montesano. A war buddy of Welch's called about his god daughter not calling or sending his birthday box. We arrive near 10 am to a full-blown Caligula Roman orgy; half a dozen underaged or barely legal naked girls are crawling on three guys. Two older, one younger.

Welch bulldozes in and two girls latch on to us, the red head on my neck, whispers "I'm 13 and a slave, please help me" I can see by Welch face the one on him is saying something similar. Great Welch calls the cops and checks the muscled older guy. The other two were muscled once, no going to pot.

"Sawyer, haul this one to the car. I'll call the cops once you're gone." I stuff the drugged and drunk naked old guy in the SUV. Must be Steele. I walk back in.

"Where am I taking him?"

"Belington, Flynn has a rehab for him. The girls tell me; their pimps and drug dealers Jose Rodriquez Sr. And Doc here. They been keeping Steele stoned, drunk, and sexed since June. I suspect this has something to do with Jose Sr. Here (pointing at the older one) Court-martial in the Second Gulf(war). He's mumbling about revenge and selling Steele's virginal step daughter."

"all this for revenge?"

"Yea. That with Doc here has been operating drugs and girls, most underage, outside Portland at WSU. Where the step daughter goes to school. Seems she kicked his ass and dragged her roommate out of their clutch's. Some rich girl they planned to blackmail and whore out after selling the stepdaughter to the highest bidder, seems she's a virgin. I have some blue friends do here in ten minutes, so get going."

I drive the sick drunk to Belington, he upchucks several times, I just manage to get to the side off the road. So, the car doesn't smell to bad or need a replacement. What the hell were they feeding him. It's purple and disgusting. Making the meeting Flynn at Busara Thai on 36th street. We exit off Highway-5 onto S. Samish Way cross over Elwood Ave, backtracking south on 36th street. Flynn check Steel. Following his car; We head around the corner back under Highway-5 to the rehab at Lincoln and Byron streets.

I head home, it's been a lousy. Friday me the VFW crew are going R&R to a music festival at Dorrington Bluegrass Music Park. I would invite Elliott but he's got some angst chick at his Kirkland house. Founded her drugged and passed out on the street in Tacoma of all places. I wish him luck. With Grey missing, and Mia on the war path over me rejecting her. I need a break from the stress and drama.

Xxxxxxx

Saturday:

Grey turned up at the Dorrington Bluegrass Music Park. We chased and lost him; Jason is not happy to say the least. We resume the hunt, get a hit at north Oregon coast. Jason is checking every semi-truck and weird occurrences. Him and Park are hunting as I get stuck with desk duty for losing Grey a second time. Life sucks.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Luke's condo Capital hill section of Seattle: Wednesday

I'm hot, sweaty and tired as I drag my sorry ass into my condo on sound facing slope of Seattle's Capitol Hill, expensive but a great view and a quiet high security building. I need some rest after chasing trucks all over the Northwest. A lead finally had us around Neskowin on 101 in Oregon. But we suspect after a day or two; He jump another truck or stole a car. Park rangers and game wardens are on the lookout for him just the same.

I walk into a heavenly smell of hot food and a naked Mia. I want her so bad; but know our worlds are just not meant to be together. I'm a broken-down soldier worrying a babysitting gig for her billionaire brother. I have shit in my savings, and no family worth mentioning. I can't let her throw away her life on me.

"Mia get dress, go home. You parents need you!" I scream with more conviction than really exist in my heart.

"Luke? Please I need you? I really do? Please I love you!" Mia begs, grabbing me, making me want her. But I must be firm and not with that body part.

"Mia get dress, go home. There is no us. Go find someone more suited to your station. I'm just not right for you!" I push her away and force her to dress. Calling her CPO, to pick her up. His buddy is on car duty for the rest of the year, giving her my emergency key and swipe card. I want her to stay. I need her to stay, but I must make sure she is happy and that means without me.

I watch the sunset; the food burned and the world hurts. Fresh scars on my heart, Fresh nails in my coffin. I hurt, burying my sorrows in a bottle of JD (Jack Daniels whiskey).

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Mia-pov

I call my CPO, he was waiting down stairs the whole time, knowing this was a mistake. I've tried everything to crack my man. Take us back to last year in Paris. I daydream about the days and nights, the waltzing around his being my CPO our attraction. Then those heavenly nights in his arms. Days in school and the fun we had bounding around the town and the country side. Those weekend trips to Belgium, Holland, Norway, Switzerland and Germany.

Then Christian disappeared; an we came home. That when Luke decided, on his own, that we couldn't come out and be together. I can logical understand, but I can't in my heart give him up. I will get around this poor no prospects bullshit of his. We don't need money; we need each other. "Williams to Grey House." He wants to argue but i've had it today with males. "Grey House!" I like Williams, but he's old enough to be my dad, and acts like it more every day.

I need to talk to Roz and Gwen; they will know how to get Luke and me together. Arriving in front of Grey house I bolt from the still moving car. It was almost stop. I charge for the door; I can see the lobby guards sprinting to unlock and open the door.

I stop at a crying old man on the seating blocks out front; Luke told me they were anti-car bomb barriers. I think the causal seating granite blocks are nicer sounding. I walk to him. Like I've known all my life this poor broke man in thrift store cloths, beard and hair long and dirty. But the he reeks of military, and fatherly aura. I sit next to him, waiting his interaction. I need to let him come to me. I look into brown eyes in pain and misery. He has lost someone. I reach out and hug him.

"Talk to me?" I whisper

He tells me a tale of woe. Betrayal and hatred: Self-destruction and worse abandonment of his daughter. Lost in drugs, he didn't know he was on and alcohol which he did know. How his supposed friends feed him hatred of his ex-wife, made him see his step daughter has her mother. He doesn't remember his daughter being there just Carla the ex-wife. Now he knows he hit her and hurt her. Made her flee the state.

His escape from rehab and just finished talking to Welch and his ex-wife. Seems their buddies from the war. He's broken having lost everything. I see the man who needs me. The pull is intense to make this father whole with his daughter.

"come with me, lets get you cleaned up and feed." I take him to my car. William looks perplexed. "William to Escala"

"Your brothers not there, I'm not sure how Gail or Taylor will feel?"

"William to Escala; if Christian has a problem, he can tell me to my face. Till than you drive were I say!"

"OK! Miss Grey. I said my piece!"

We arrive to find Taylor and Gail gone, head out on a possible lead. I would worry, but I have to get Ray settled. I put him in a guest room, get some cloths, from Jason closets. Gail trimmer kit she uses on Jason. I walk into guest room bath room, Ray's battered and bruised.

He turns a nice blush at my presence in his nakedness. "Mia please?"

"here are cloths. Now wrap this towel around. I have a boyfriend, when he gets over himself. So, your virtue in safe. Now let's get you back to civilization." I hold up the trimmer.

Once he's seated on the toilet. I drape a towel over his shoulders and trim out his beard and hair. I shave him like I've seen Gail due to Jason. Like I used to do for Luke. Making the whitewalls the military guys like. I see in Ray; Luke at that age without me. I see a man lost the love of his life. I can relate to the pain: I've seen my dad age ten years since Christian disappeared. He was so broken, after confronting of Jason in Escala after he was seen in Portland. The Grands took them for a week to Tao's New Mexico to see specialist.

Even now he breaks into tears, over a memory of Christian. He making an effort to right all the wrongs he thinks he did to us kids. He cut my allowance to a third and spends more time with me. More father daughter time. I like the new arrangement, just wish Christian would surface again so he can come home.

With the beard and hair gone, Ray looks younger and healthier. We will get him back to rehab, tomorrow I'll call Welch and get his help. But right now, we need food. I'm shocked at how little is in Gail pantry, she's more effected than I thought. She must really care about Christian. I get a stew going and make biscuits.

Over food, I get Ray to open up more and release all the demons he as kept lock inside. I help him and in doing help myself to see Luke's point. It's still BS, but I understand his point of view better now. Luke needs to see that we can make it, that we are meant to be. A that he can be a CPO and still be financial safe.

"Mia?" From the entry way.

I turn to my dad. I move to talk to him.

"Mia what are you doing?"

"Helping a friend."

"Mia you just met him, he's dangerous and you need to stop this impulse behavior."

"What impulse behavior. I've been there always for the family. Play each role you ask of me. The dutiful daughter, the needy sister. The airhead girl graduated high school a year early, with a BA in Culinary and one in Hospitality. A minor in Restaurant management. Number one in my French school. Hell dad, what do you what me to be?"

He stands there stunned, as am I that I let the real me out. Only Luke has ever seen the real me. Not the Personas I show for the people I care about in my life.

"Alright, you what to treated as an adult. Well bring a homeless man you don't know into your brother's penthouse. Is not a Adult move." He screams grabbing his hair.

"nor is sleeping around with the help!"

"SMACK!" I stare at my hand raised. The palm print reddening on his face. I just smacked my father. An it felt good. Really good. I see his horror and shock. He's total losing it before my eyes.

"Get out! Get out of here. And don't come home. Your just like my moth_r" he screams, cut off by Rays fist.

"Mia leave us alone for a bit. I left the dirty clothes in the hamper. Could you please?" Ray asks me. Standing over my stunned father.

I head upstairs to get the clothes. Wondering if I have a family or a home. What will I do? I head down the hall and look at Christian mysterious locked door. He's never let anyone in there. Or has he. I see the bedroom at the end of the hall that always lock as well and guest bedroom. Why was it always locked when I visited?

Its open, but everything is gone. Just bare wall. Why? I turn and run back to the locked door; I turn the handle and it opens onto a bare room. Why? I can't figure it out. I get Rays cloths, quietly slinking down the stairs. The Guys are on the sofa, a cracked whiskey bottle between them. They are both crying. I'm not sure the whiskey is good with Ray's rehab.

I load the laundry adding Gail's and Jason. I sit in Gail quarters kitchen and know it warm and comfortable. Some reason Mademoiselle plays in my head. I'm not sure why the cougar sex freak in my cooking class should worry me. She's no threat to my class position or my life. I nod off.

I'm at Mademoiselle house party near the middle of last term. First time in her house. I find the art disturbing. I find the staff strangle dress. It's not till Claire points out the collars each waiter is wearing. She giggles Mademoiselle is into whips and chains and everything in between. She humiliates and beat males and females.

She spent nearly an hour explaining and demonstrating her control over the staff that are really her slaves and boy-toys. She then led a tour of her dungeon, which she called a playroom. Pointing out the overnight and weekend slave guest rooms. "bang"

I'm sitting on the floor; I just fell out of the chair. But the memory hurts me. That was Christian mysterious locked door: a sex room, a dungeon. Was the bedroom for a slave or a mistress? Was Christian getting off being abuse like he was at four. I think on my brother; tears pour out as the answers come to me. That's why dad lost it, that's why mom threw out all her leather clothes. My brother got off beating and controlling slaves! "Why?"

"Why what Mia?" I look up to the man of my dreams, he can't be real. He can't be here. I must look a fright.

"Why what Mia?" Luke asks hauling me off the floor and into arms. I kiss him and let the pain fade. This is my home. With and where ever Luke is.

"why my brother needed to beat and control BDSM slaves?"

"how did you know and when?" Luke ask concerned

"The rooms upstairs are unlocked and bare. I wondered why they were locked in the fist place. A then Mademoiselle party popped in my head."

"ok, yes he does that. The rooms are bare, because Gail when nuts after your parents saw the red room and lost it. How your brother will react is anyone guess now."

"But why did he need it? He's such and kind and good heart person." I beg for answers to heal my heart.

"Gail told me he needed it because of his touch issues. That he couldn't take anyone touching his chest or back. That bondage was his only way; the SM shit was from Eliana Lincoln molesting him in high school. Everyone is hoping he'll not need it when he returns." Luke tells me moving me to the couch and holding me. As the emotions and logic battle for control of my body and mind. If that woman wasn't dead, I'd be on my way to kill her.

Molested Christian in high school, Mademoiselle talked about starting as a slave before becoming a boss. What did she call it? I can't think right now about what that silly name was. He changed when he was fifteen after working for her. Fifteen; all those wasted nights and events. All those lost times I couldn't drag him into the light. How did I not see this? How I failed my brother again.

"Mia?" I look up to my father. Ray stands behind him.

"Mia? I'm sorry I said those things. I'm sorry, truly sorry I reacted like that. I let my own fears and history cloud and judge you unfairly. You'll always be in the family. Your always welcome at home." Dad says. Can see his pain, and how much he loves me. I stand and hug him, letting him feel and know my love for him. It's now or never.

"Dad! This is Luke Sawyer my boyfriend and the only man I've ever sleep with. I would like him over to meet the rest of the family on Sunday."

"Mia? That not true?" Luke protest.

"what not true? You took my V-card? You don't love me? We aren't met to be?" I ask

Luke just walks out the door and down the elevator. I stand in the entry and watch him go. I turn to my father. "he'll get use to being with me."

"Mia are you sure?"

"Yes dad? He's the only one for me. He knows it. He just doesn't think he's in our world because of the money. He's trying to be noble and not drag me into poverty and some bullshit like that."

"Mia, I understand his point of view; I'll talk to him. Help him see that the social and money bullshit doesn't matter. It's just you two that matters." Ray smiles at me.

We talk early into the morning. I spend the day with Ray, getting him cloths and helping him find himself. Mostly by being there and having a shoulder to cry on. He has Luke over to play pool and watch a soccer game. I cooked dinner and snacks. Letting the guys be guys. I plan on doing this with my bothers more. Luke seem introspect as he leaves, even kissing my goodnight.

Sunday near noon William drops us off at Ray's rehab. Flynn already cleared the way for his reentry. I make sure he can call me anytime. He promises to talk more to Luke. I walk into the house expecting dragon mom; I get the kind caring mother I always crave. We talk boys or one boy.

She understands his fears and worries. She'll talk to Roz about helping him expand and move up in his career choice of security. Mom thinks he just needs to see himself as the leader and solid guy he is. A maybe some college course to improve his self-esteem. After all he's Jason number one go-to-guy. Takes over when Jason and Gail sneak off for a weekend.

I go to bed happy that things are turning for the better. I just hope Christian shows up.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Tuesday:

The William is driving like a madman. Some car hit us and rather than stop and pull over; we are tearing down the highway at close to a hundred miles an hour. I see a road block ahead; William's in trouble. Till I see the car let us thru. I turn back to the road block closing on our pursuer. They make a U-turn in the middle of south bound highway 5. The police give chase.

Shit! It was a kidnapping or worse an assassination attempt on me. "Thank you, Williams'," he just does his grunt, our shorthand for ok. Why me? Why now? We pull into Grey house garage. I jump out of the moving car into Luke's arms. I let the world crash on me. We go home to his place on the hill.

XXXXXXXXXX

Its' not even dawn yet, when Luke takes a call. He seems very disturbed. I get up and make him a coffee. He has this cute little one travel up coffee maker. I hand him the coffee he looks at me with terror. Please god no bad news.

"Mia, Gail and Jason are with Christian in Savannah Georgia. He's not really himself. There trying to get him back here so Flynn can help him. The family can't go there. Flynn thinks the pressure will cause him to bolt again. What do you want to do?"

"I want to hop a flight before dawn. But Flynn's right, we would only send him deeper into this escape of his, if we piled on him. I can't afford to lose my brothers. How about we get up in a couple of hours, after dawn and take donuts to Elliott and met his mysterious lady. Do you know why the mystery?"

"Ok, yes I know. No, I'm not telling. It's up to Elliott and Kate to tell you. Got it kiddo?" Luke grins with his dimples shining in the gloom of night.

"so, her name is Kate? What else?"

Luke drinks his coffee. Puts down the glass and slings me over his shoulder. Caveman Luke; his way of saying conversation over. Sex time Mia Grey. He swats my ass and toss me on his bounces soft bed. I'm screaming his name into the dawn first light. It nearly 9am by the time we get to Elliott house.

We walk in to a blond bombshell cowgirling my brother on the couch. I drop the bag of donuts on the side table. I've seen him worse. The girl looks better than most of his dates. They been together for weeks. I can tell by her eyes she staying. We head out to Grey house to get the latest.

One brother down, one more to find a girl for him. I wonder how many websites advertise BDSM submissive; got to find Christian a girl to tie up and fu ## K and still be able to escort him to public events.

Xxxxxxxxxxx

Grey Manor

I brought Luke home last night. Roz and Gwen were over. After dinner we all talked about what to do for and against Christian if he won't come home. Mom and Dad accepted Luke. I know Luke, Dad had a telephone conference with Ray.

I sit in the great room, sipping my morning coffee and watching the boats cruise by. My phone buzzes, looking down its Gwen. "hi Gwen!"

"your parents have their phones off!" O'shit, Christian bolted I know it. The tears start to puddle in my eyes.

"Mia are you there?"

"Yes, Gwen" I wipe my tears. Keep a stiff upper lip as Flynn says.

"Are you sitting down?"

"Yes, Gwen"

"OK, Christian tried to bolt again. Gail and Jason followed him to the airport. They are all in the air bound for Orlando. Christian met a girl in the terminal. Gail told me he simple picked her off the floor and kissed her. Her name is Anastasia, she's a college student at WSU. She's had a hard month, so calmly think about talking to her. Andrea getting them Disneyworld rooms if possible. Questions?"

"do we have a picture yet?"

"no Gail said she would send one when she lands. Are you ok?"

"Hell, no I'm not OK! Christian nearly escapes again and now he has a girlfriend. What about his alternate sex thing?"

"Gail said she been touching his chest and back. No one else can do it, he nearly hit Jason when he tested the touch issues yesterday. I think she' the one. Christian has found his soulmate."


	5. Chapter 5 mission to mars

FSOG chp05 mission to mars

Disneyworld day 2

C-pov

5:00am

I wake for the first time in months, feeling the need to run. To think on where my life has deposited me. I sneak out of the room; dawn is just breaking over the trees. I start for Gail and Jason room, hoping to wake Jason quietly.

Jason opens the door in shorts and a mean expression. I know he thinks I'm running away. I'm not I just need to run. "Jason I'd like to do a couple of miles this morning?" He looking me up and down like he doesn't believe me.

"ok, give me a minute"

"I'll be in the snack area" I head over the CPO night guy on duty watch's me. I get a juice. I stare at the art work. I bought painting, art and yet I never really looked at campy Disney stuff. It really good and making one happy. I grab a second juice as Jason joins me, I hand him the juice. We head out. Existing the lodge. We head down the road towards the campground following the jogging map I saw last night near the Fire Geyser at a mile eating pace.

It feels good to run and feel the world around me. I think about my company, my life before Anna. All the fu ##ked up shit I did. I watch the world float by me, we enter the Fort Wilderness Campground. Few people are up this early; the map said about 2.5 miles. We extend to the Campground's Front Entrance and loop the campground before heading back.

Jason phone say six and a half miles. I feel good, the first time in a long while I feel normal. The Magic Kingdom opens around 9, we have early entry so we need to be there by 8. Anna threatened me about opening and closing parks: Yesterday was just family & jet lag. Today is Disney immersion. I'm a little scared at what that might mean.

6:00am

I walk into my room stripping my shirt to find naked Anna standing in the bathroom. "I'll wait."

"no, you stink Chris." She pouts at me "Now slave wash me!" She turns on the shower and steps inside. I finish stripping a jump into the stall. I start to sex up my kitten. She bites my lip and purrs as morning shower sex starts. I've never done this before, it is fantastic. Last night was just oral, this morning I brought three condoms in with me.

I slide my tongue around her ear, down her long sensual neck. Lowering myself to taste her belly button, flicking my tongue. Making my girl giggle. Kneading and fondling her perfect little ass. I nuzzle deep into her sex. Driving my tongue deep, deeper inside. Marking her lips with love bites. Running fingers inside her holes. I feel the world explode into my mouth. She withers in the first of many orgasms.

I put on a condom; I stand hooking one of her legs around my hip. Working my man inside of her. I pound hard into my woman. Making the orgasm extend and bloom into heaven tightness. She clamps on me as I lose my will. Draining me inside of her. We merge as one, perfect union in the warm rain from the shower head. We hold each other post orgasm in the soothing warm water. As the day brighten thru the window.

7:00am

Dress we wander over to Gail's for breakfast. Rough is here, so things can get started. Anna as planned a fun Friday in the Magic Kingdom. We have early in so after food, we head into the park for early hour. Anna plans Space Mountain Blast off on a rip-roaring rocket in the dark. Headed to the furthest reaches of outer space, race hotrod, cruise along a scenic miniature motorway at Tomorrowland Speedway, Race through _Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs_ diamond mine on The Seven Dwarf Mine train. All before the parks open at 9am.

8:00am

We head out, Rough has boat to take us to the Magic Kingdom. Moving thru security, we walk down Main Street. I see the Uptown Jeweler Shop, must sneak away and get Anna something special. "Don't even think it Grey."

"Think what?"

"I don't need expensive jewels; just you."

"Anna baby, I have the cash. What wrong in me giving you pretty thing to match your perfect beauty?"

She punches my arm, hard. "Ouch!"

"Chris I will let you know when you can buy me something other than food. Till then Master of me; I just want your time and love."

"Alright Mistress of me, I will hold off buy you the world till you accept a ring and make a date."

Anna stumbles, I catch her. She wraps around me going whole hog PDA on me. I love it and her. "Uhm mm!" Gail says next to us.

"Time wasting love birds if you expect to get all three rides in." Gail laughs at us. Anna dismounts and grabs my hand. Running across Tomorrowland to entrance of Space Mountain.

9am buzz on my phone as we exit The Seven Dwarf Mine train.  We head to Peter Pan, then Small World. I laugh at Anna's happiness, so infecting me. We spent the morning in Fantasyland. Gail sends the adult and Grand's at home some picture of us cuddled riding Dumbo. Little do they realize my hands was down my girls shorts and making her flight very erratic.

1:00pm

We head around 1pm to Old West Music Hall, The Diamond Horseshoe. We enjoy the show and the food. Jason gets the BBQ pulled pork, Gail and Anna get the citrus-marinated chicken, Rough gets country smoked sausage and I get beef brisket. The entrée come with all the fixin's. We all get the s'more cake; smoked chocolate cake, graham cracker-butter cream and toasted marshmallow.

We're in heaven or sugar overload, both are good. Wander outside we watch the Liberty Belle cruise by on the Rivers of America. We head towards Splash Mountain. We relax in the cool darkness of the Pirates of the Caribbean. Anna points out the Hidden Mickeys along the way. I enjoy watching her; the face bruised, yet joyful, childlike in the wonder and excitement of this place. I can't help, being swept along and really living in her love.

3:00pm

We enjoy Splash Mountain, Country Bear Jamboree. We watch the 3-o'clock Disney Festival of Fantasy Parade; then explore the shops. We wander, ending at the hottest part of the day at the Enchanted Tiki Room. Waiting for the next show, the afternoon thunder storm releases it drenching.

We enter to the dry cool show. Anna elbows me to participate, I sing with her. She whispers in my ear. "Maybe I'll let you work more of those Kinky F #kery after the parade tonight.

"I thought you wanted to close the park?"

"Usually I would, but closing the Magic Kingdom or Christian Grey fu ##$king my brains out. Which do you think I'll chose?"

"You are so dead causing my man to tent my cargo shorts. I think a little introduction to spanking is in order, with a heavy dose of fingers. I ordered some toys; they should be waiting when we return tonight. Silver balls, Silver Ball how they will make you scream."

"Promise. Promise." She bites her lip. I lean over and bite that sensual lip. Making me even harder. I have to adjust myself before standing.

We head over and ride the Jungle Boat, enjoying the cast-member's speech and antics. The kid is good. We explore the Swiss Family Treehouse. Share a Dole whip from the Sunshine Tree Terrace. Laugh on Aladdin Magic Carpet Ride. Explore the shops around Pirates of the Caribbean.

5:30pm

Move It! Shake It! Mousekedance It! Street Party at 5:30; Rough gets us viewing next to Casey's Corner. We munch on Casey's corndog nuggets bouncing and dancing to the music and goofing with everyone.

6:15pm

Afterwards, we race pass Mr. Disney to Winnie The Pooh Adventures. We meander thru the crowd to an early dinner with Disney Princesses in the Castle at Cinderella Royal Table.

8:00pm

As night falls; We race back to ride Big Thunder Coaster, the best time to ride in the dark, when all the cool special effects are working. We tour the grounds of the Haunted House, laughing at the tombstones. Scream and laugh in the Mansion. We wander back around the Rivers of America and hop the Disney Train around to Main Street.

9:30pm

Anna cuddles in my arms, making happy purring sounds. As the night lite scenery goes by. Pulling in to the Main Street Station. Anna leans on me. I think she's Disney out for now. I carry her from the boat dock at the lodge to our room. The toys are here; but I just make sweet love to my girl. Letting the world drift away.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
day 3:

5:00am

I emerge from my room, to find Jason and Parks waiting to run. Sucking a juice; We head down the road towards Contemporary Hotel.  Taking a short path from the Cascade Cabin parking lot to the World drive. We pace hard, pushing hard up the ramp of the underwater tunnel. We loop at the Magic Kingdom's Bus Transit area.  Pushing harder we end the run just over an hour. Emerging from the elevator to Anna and Gail munching chocolate croissants and tea. Planning today outing.

"Guys shower, cloths are laid out. Hurry we have a breakfast to get to." Gail smiles. I start to head and kiss my girl; she shakes her head. Holding her nose. I get it I smell like pig. Laughing I head in to shower and change into a nice shirt and cargo shorts.

The Girls and Rough are waiting as Anna leaps and wraps herself around me. Kissing me stupid. We could stay like this forever, till Gail drops an ice shard down Anna back.

"All right lets go" Gail giggles as Anna dismounts. I smack Anna's perfect ass. She giggles taking my hand and leading me down to a pair of Minnie Mouse themed Vans.

We arrive at the Animal Kingdom for a character breakfast in the Rainforest Café. We eat as various character mingle about. Anna decks Safari Donald Duck when he tried to hug me. Luckily Rough had our tables away from others; so, Donald only landed on his pride. My little brown-haired protector, I kiss her.

We spend the morning on Safari. In Africa: we take a private Kilimanjaro Safaris, Rough arrange** a **private open-air vehicle, with a Wildlife guide for our tour of an African savanna. Anna and Gail are really good spotting the animals roaming free.

Pangani Forest lush landscape accented by the adorable meerkat on a rocky perch, impressive Grevy's zebra on the savanna; watching the gentle troop of western lowland gorillas on a grassy hillside watching us in the Gorilla Falls Exploration Trail.

Wildlife Express Train, a peaceful 7-minute, 1.2-mile journey, to Rafiki's Planet Watch. The behind-the-scenes look at the park's animals has my girl all mellow and cuddling into me. Rough gets us a personal friendly animal expert to walk us around the Conservation Station including a back-area tour. Herding us into Affection Section The girls are gaga moo to domesticated goats, sheep, donkeys, cows and pigs at Conservation Station expansive, outdoor animal enclosure. They seem to pet, brush and feed each one.

Our friendly animal expert, a college Veterinary student doing her practicum; answers all the questions the girls have stroll down the picturesque wildlife path, home to exhibits on animal conservation in Habitat Habit!... I suspect Rough as spread the word: I'm taken; nobody wants jealous little Anastasia mad after the blistering scene at Cinderella Royal Table last night. My girl chased the red-faced waitress into the kitchen. I had to pick her up and carry her back t our table.

We walked from the Train Station in Africa stopping only at Zuri's Sweet shop. Headed into Asia for lunch at the eclectic eatery known as Yak & Yeti Restaurant, decorated with the proprietor's collection of Southeast Asian artifacts. We munch on Wok-Fried Green Beans waiting our orders: The battered green beans in sweet Thai chili dipping sauce are melt in your mouth good. Everyone except Jason gets Sangria.

I split the sweet-and-sour chicken over Jasmine rice with Sautéed Baby Bok Choy with Anna. Gail has the Lobster Garlic Noodles**; **lobster, shrimp, scallops, baby spinach, red peppers, shiitake mushrooms, tossed in zesty garlic stir fry sauce. While Jason burns his mouth with Sriracha Seafood Mac and Cheese: Shrimp, Scallops, Havarti Cheese and Sriracha Sauce, topped with Toasted Parmesan Panko Breadcrumbs. Watching him gulp Coca Cola frozen Icee is the best floor show.

After lunch we meander. Cross towering footbridges, graceful Asian tigers lounge in the shade, jungle hides the Gibbons, Elds deer, Blackbuck, Komodo dragon, Malayan flying fox, Water buffalo around every bends. Marvelous cascading waterfalls and stand in the shadow of a palace frozen in time. We escape the world in the chirping aviary where over 50 species of birds soar free. Existing the Maharajah Jungle Trek.

We get frozen drinks, cooling us in the heat at the Drinkwallah.  Rough suggest we do the UP! A Great Bird Adventure show. Anna explains the movie I never saw. I think if we get time, I should watch the movie; Russell and his furry friend Dug adventure: Led by a senior Wilderness Explorer giving us a unique birding experience features a close-up look at various bird species from around the globe. This is the perfect show to sit out the thunderstorm heading are way.

We make our way back thru Africa to the Festival of the Lion King for are reservation time. Another movie I didn't see. Broadway-style show filled with songs, pageantry and puppetry celebrating the classic movie seems to give me enough with Anna help. I cried as the ending and the reunited son and father. I wonder if I'll have that moment with mine.

Melancholy, Anna leads me on a quiet talk and walk back thru Gorilla Falls Exploration Trail. I don't remember seeing anything on the walk, just Anna's blue eyes and sweet voice soothing me. Making me see the good in myself. How can she see that when I have such problems seeing it? We emerge to the anxious Gail and Jason, who waited at the entrance.

I hug Gail and take Anna hand for a run thru Pandora. A movie I did see, well Elliott and Mia forced me to see it. I did enjoy it; never telling Mia and Elliott that tidbit. Got to keep some things secret. We do the rides and goof in the gift shops. Before heading back to Asia for Everest and Kali River Rapids. We do everything Anna wants in Dinoland U.S.A; the Nemo Show was the best thing. The coaster and flying ride were cheesy even by Disney standards.

After It's Tough to be a Bug! The theater hidden at the base of the Tree of Life. We donned a pair of "bug eye" glasses. Flik, the loveable ant from A Bug's Life another movie I didn't see. We learn how insects survive in the wild. They Bug Out! The special effect during the show, dodge flying quills from a tarantula, feel a harmless spray from a soldier termite and sniff the putrid "defense stench" from a stink bug. Had us jumping out of our seats. Laughing, we wander around the Island till time for food.

Our Late Dinner around eight forty at Tiffin's Restaurant on Discovery Island for the Rivers of Light Dining Package. We eat and watch the show, afterward we ride Everest again, a few more times. We head home the hotel. Anna asleep in my arms. I don't know how she does it.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Day 3 Seattle

Mia-pov

I stare at my phone the photos Gail sent are disturbing to see my brother so happy and care-free. A girl holds his hand, touches his chest and back. Makes everything I hold dear, so crystal clear. This Anastasia Steele according to Andrea is a mystery. A college coed from WSU, I wonder if Kate knows her? Is she a relative to Ray? I meet with Welch and Roz in an hour at Grey house. I must be calm and let my emotions settle. I must do the ultimate daughter thing. I must bring my parents back into sanity and get the Grands calm in the face of all this.

I walk into the great room of Grey Manor. Dragging my reluctant boyfriend with me. He's not sure he should be here; I damn well am sure. I will need his strength to do this thing. I take a deep breath and then another.

"Mom, Dad? I have some information for you." I ask as the Grands come in from the patio. Taking a seat on the love seat they all look very stressed. I push Luke into Elliott arm chair and crawl on his lap, cuddling; begging his strength. I waffle on what I must do.

"Christian has met a girl, a WSU senior, an English Literature major. Her name is Anastasia Steele. She and Christian are at Disneyworld, as of an hour ago at the Animal Kingdom. She is not incumbered by his touch issues, I had Andrea forward Gail's pics to all your phones." Luke says, as my courage failed. I watch them all look. Mom moves to Grandma T for comfort. Tear flow freely from both. Grandpa and dad move over to us.

"what else do we know?"

"Welch and Roz are briefing us in about an hour at Grey House. Otherwise nothing else." I say.

Dad starts to say something when Elliott and Kate walk in. They look better in cloths, watching them on Elliott couch was embarrassing and scaring to my little sister eyes. Although I've seen Elliott in worse public sex spectacles.

"Hey? Good everyone's here. This is Kate Kavanagh. My girlfriend. Hey what the matter?" Elliott says.

"We just briefed the parents on Christian and his girl." I smile at the love-struck pair; they look like me and Luke.

"Cool what you got?" Elliott says pulling Kate on his lap on the couch. Flash-backs of them at his house few days ago. I shake my head.

"Christian has met a girl, a WSU senior, an English Literature major. Her name is Anastasia Steele." I say as Luke holds me. It sounds better every time I say it.

"**DO YOU HAVE A PICTURE OF HER!"** Kate screams; and they complain I'm loud. Has Kate rips away from Elliott and grabs a phone from dad's hand. She looks and faints. Elliott moves her back to the couch as mom checks her vitals and dad returns from the kitchen with a cold wet cloth.

As she wakes up, she grabs Elliott and pulls her down whispering words. Crying! What is going on?

"mom? Kate needs a shot to calm down. Please?" Elliott pleas

Mom gets her bag and gives Kate a shot. Elliott holds her as sleep take the distraught girl. What is going on.

"She'll sleep a couple of hours. Do we need to call Flynn for an eval?" Mom ask and grandma holds her.

"No, he's already seen her. We're schedule tomorrow for counseling. She just had a bad shock seeing the pictures." Elliott cuddle her tight, stroking her hair.

"Why?" I ask

Elliott looks out the window for more than a minute; gathering his thoughts. "Kate and Anna, Anastasia were roommate's at WSU. She let an evil asshole boyfriend turn her into a drug addict. Tried to blackmail Kate's family. Her dad is the Kavanagh in Kavanagh Media. Anna got her out, sent her home and disappeared. Kate tried to call Anna dad but he's disappeared to. Her mother in Georgia claims not to know anything. I found Kate pass out in front of the family estate outside Portland; she was in rapid detox; the family abandoned her there. She's been guilty ridden over all the pain and harm she caused her best friend. Now we know somehow Anna connected with Christian. They seem to be having the time of their lives at Disney." Elliott sounds bitter, why should he be bitter?"

"why the bitterness?" I demand

"He's living it up and Kate's been depressed and nearly suicidal over losing her friend." Elliott barks, he's borderline mad.

"What is Anna father name?" Dad barks over us. Seldom does he raise his voice like that or sound so pain ridden.

"Raymond Steele from south of Tacoma?" Elliott say cowed by dad's action. Dad just goes into overdrive dialing. Walking to the great window.

"Ray? Good news and bad news. Which do you want?" Dad ask, could Ray's lost daughter be Christian girlfriend?

"Ok! Bad news first, man after my own heart: We're in-laws. Christian and Anna met in Georgia and are now healing at DisneyWorld in Florida. I'll sent the pictures to your phone. Also, Anna roommate is here with my eldest son Elliott. What? Yes? They are a couple too. We're not allowed to go down for a couple of weeks. Flynn believes with Gail, Christian housekeeper and Surrogate mother that they both need time to heal and strength their relationship before the family lands on them. We'll talk to Flynn tonight and arrange some type of phone or video conference. Yea. Yes, if the doctors say OK, you'll come with us. Yea, they both are for sure. Night Ray." Dad turns to us.

"you'll heard?" We all nod.

"Grace? Gail is not replacing you, or in competition with you." dad tires to sooth mom's agitation.

"She's in Disney! Making decisions about my son!" Mom is angry

**"Well Grace! I see you got your head up your ass! Again!**" Little Gwen bullhorns over the room. As she and Roz walk in.

"You need to stop this self-hatred over what That Troll Bitch did to you and Christian. People like that used up people and damage everyone. SO! Are you Christian's mother? Or another insecurity old woman bent on harming him." She says getting nose to nose with mom.

"How when she is" mom starts **"smack!"** Gwen smacks her.

"because you're his mother, Gail cares about Christian, because she sees the good man destroyed by evil up close for years. Christian with Anna is trying to get back to a life, that includes the family. Anna is that life. Gail is with Jason and they both have gone out of their way to help and stabilize Christian. An its Flynn and me making the decisions. Because you all are to emotionally invested and close him."

"I want to go to him, hug him, tell him, no show him how much I love him. Show all my children how much I love them." Mom cries.

"You will Grace. We leave next Friday for Disneyworld. Andrea has cabins at the Lodge. Gail is waiting for you to get there to cement Christian return to the family. He's guilty ridden he lied and hurt you for all those years. Gail can only do so much. Carrick and you can bring him home. But be warned Anna is no push over or airhead. She can't even fake it like Mia here." Gwen speaks throwing her arm around me, hugging me tight.

"Well that settle! What's to eat?" Elliott bellows

"More like who's sleeping beauty?"

""This is Kate Kavanagh in daughter of Kavanagh Media. Kate and Anna were roommate's at WSU. She let an evil asshole boyfriend turn her into a drug addict and tried to blackmail Kate's family. Anna got her out, sent her home and disappeared. Seems dad knows Anna's dad who had disappeared to?" Elliott speaks happier and clearer

"UH! Welch; did a favor for Anastasia godfather, who in Afghanistan. We when down weeks ago an got Ray out; an into rehab. Tried to find the daughter. Old Family friends turned evil, seems a bad re-occur theme in this tale. Drugged up Ray and Kate; tried to kidnap Anna and sell her virginity to the highest bidder. A yes, she was, not any more. Most of the evil shits are in jail: only the son Jose Rodriquez Jr. Is on the loose. Him and Leia are top of our threat list. Elliott! The evil drug dealing pimp boyfriend got maimed and gelded in Tacoma Jail about two weeks ago. Jose Sr. Plead out to federal charges in exchange for an isolation. Seem he offended the wrong people to be in jail with; so, what do we do now?" Luke asks. I leave Gwen to jump my man and kiss him stupid and maybe take me to my room upstairs to show me how much he means to me. Dad clears his throat.

"Well I'm with Elliott. Let's order pizza. House rules about bedrooms are suspended for tonight. Guest room is available Roz, Gwen?" Carrick ask as I quickly order the family pizza spread.** "Done!"**

"Sorry Carrick, we're headed home. Roz will sleep in tomorrow, since I'm not letting her sleep till, she agrees to adopt. Come along sex slave, Mom's heading home." Gwen tease Roz, grabbing her collar, dragging her out of the room. Which breaks down in laughter.

I drag my man to my pink room; I hope it doesn't inhibit his erection. We have thirty-eight minutes to food. Before we get to my room; I hear the parents behind me giggling, turning I see dad with hands in mom's pants and mom shirtless and bra-less. God, I hope we're as horny as goats at that age.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Elliott-pov

Everyone has left us. I don't blame them the tension and stress need relieve. When Kate awakes, I bet she'll want to relieve the stress in sex. I pick up my girl and take her home. I'll order the Thai take out she likes. I kiss her lips, she mumbles 'Elliott, I love you'

I look at the pictures again. How young and happy they look. How great I feel he is back, and can never leave again. Anna Steele, Christian Grey sitting under a tree, first comes love, then marriage, then comes baby carriage. I laugh Christian with a stroller. I daydream us with strollers chasing our young charges around a park. Heavenly dreams, once never. Now almost certain. Certain for sure.


	6. Chapter 6 old breed:

FSOG CH06 old breed:

** sorry short chapter**

Thursday night:

The fog rides along the freeway lampposts. The night is still with only the soft broken squeaks of the nurse cheap sneakers. The windows have no bars, the doors no locks, no guards bar the exits. Yet this is a prison, a prison of the will and of the mind. Rehab, the word was always for others; failures like Carla, Jose. Never in a million years did I think I'd be here. But I am. A failure!

I pace the room, annoying my roommate. A recovering alcoholic former Mech-Infantry Sergeant on his last chance; if he fails this time, he's homeless, kin-less. I worry that is my fate. I let my insecurities; the fears haunt me. The uptight guy all my life seduced with young girls and alcohol; to be twenty and wild on R&R again at my age. Stupid Ray really stupid. Jose added drugs to distort and make me insane. How could I ever see my Annie as Carla? I destroyed the only goodness in my life. I lost my daughter. Is it permanent or can I rebuild the relationship?

Soon Luke will come and get me; the Grey family has taken me in. I marvel at their resilience in the face of disaster. To have your child go crazy and disappear, to find out he was living a secret Bdsm sex life. To find out friends betrayed you and your loved ones; I can relate. They are scared like me about whether Christian will return to the family or stay estranged. How will Anna react to his former sex lifestyle? I haven't talked to her yet. She declined to speak to me.

I did talk to Gail and Jason. They belief she is too emotional raw. They believe Anna is willing to reconnect. She just wants to see my face, to be sure of my love. I talked to my roommate from VMI, Anna's God father. All tell me Anna is good and knows about the boy's past. I believe. I believe?

I pace the room, annoying my roommate. Worrying about what to say, how to say it. Will she forgive me? Do I deserve; to be forgiven? I talked with Kate on the phone, in a few hours i'll see her for the first time. She has even more fears about Anna and forgiveness.

I pace the room, annoying my roommate. He turns to the door hoping for sleep. I stare out the window, I stare out into the darkness. I can't escape the fear in my mind. Cary, the boy's father, has removed any legal issues with the underage girls. All are sorry they did what those evil shits told them to do; And how it hurt me. Seems when high; I spent a lot of times talking about my daughter and how important she was to me. Guilty is a powerful emotion, a powerful fear. Flynn tells me I'm ready for this, I don't know if I am.

"Ray?" A soft feminine voice behind me. I turn to the pepe little Mia. A bright spot in all these woes. Like another daughter to me. Like Kate. I will not screw this up. I feel her hand on mine. I look into her eyes; love and caring radiant from those glowing orbs. I lean forward and kiss her forehead. Her and Luke have visited a lot this past week.

"Let shake a leg major. Our jet awaits." She hooks my arm; I see Luke has my case. Mia brought it in the other day, with a full set of Disney suitable Brooks Brothers clothes. If nothing else I won't embarrass the Grey's looking like a thrifty store hobo.

We pile into the SUV; Mia hands me a cup of hot water and a bag of Twining English breakfast tea. I look for two sugar packets.

"All ready in the hot water." Mia giggles. The girl amazes me. I dunk my tea bag; she has a zip-lock baggie already; so, I can reuse the bag couple more times. She closes the bag and puts it in my shirt pocket. Cuddling into me, as Luke drives.

"Ray?" Luke says

"Yea"

"Chill out its about forty minutes to Boeing field; there's ammo box behind you. Standard (pistol) with AP (armor piercing), three sticks (magazines) and two purple haze (smoke grenade: purple)"

"Ok. Let me know." Since the attempt last week, Grey security is on overdrive. I check we have a heavy tow wrecker three car lengths behind us. "Luke the tow?"

"Two of my buddies riding drag. Near Seattle a heavy welder's truck will switch out. I got a Browning Auto 12 with extender (magazine extension adds four round)." I look don't see it. I see Luke smirk.

"It has the folding stock and the pistol foregrip. I fired it yesterday." Mia giggles "boys and their toys"

"Ladies in their fashion. Like shooting? Anna loved to plink (shooting 22cal at a variety of metal targets that spin and clank)"

"Yea, I do. Luke promised to take me plinking. Just don't tell Mom. She's very anti-guns. Being a doctor, she sees too much of the negative." Mia smiles up at me. It feels good.

"I can understand, why try?"

"no one is hurting my family or me. If it takes knowing basic martial arts and firearms, so be it. I'm not a hothouse flower in the face of danger." I hug the girls, just like my Anna. We let the conversation lag and sleep takes us.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Seattle: Boeing field: 0400am Friday

We pull into the private tarmac of Boeing Field; Security is tight. I let the stress easy away. I know most of the people on the plane. This will be the first face to face with Kate. I worry about her. She is very fragile after her ordeal. Elliott, who Mia describes as man-whore with a heart of gold, is on overdrive to protect her. I need to be cautious and let Kate make the moves. We both screwed the pooch; neither is to blame. The evil shits are!

Existing; the CPO's get the luggage as Luke hustle Mia inside. I take one last look around. I don't see the enemies but I suspect they are looking. The Police let the villains' in the car get away. I won't let them get a shot at Anna; whether she exiles or dismisses me. I head up the stairs to Christian Grey private airliner, a 727.

"Ray, over Here!" Grace calls out. Cary is on his cell, arguing some legal speak. I sit down across from them. I look to the other side. Grace's parents are already in a bridge game with Roz and Gwen. I marveled at them. Christian COO is a power house, with a wife that rivals her. Gwen is petite, compact African-American woman with hard eyes; she seen to much, jaded to many times. Yet she is a kind and caring woman. The power of the couple.

Much like the Trevelyan's; Theodore a apple farmer in retirement from civil engineer. Theresa was a nurse and now runs several non-profits centered around women issues. Both are rascals as my uncle use to say. Teasing everyone and each other. Cary warned me against play bridge with either couple. Seems they enjoy fleecing novices. Both are in the top 100 bridge players in the USA.

I feel a woman sit next to me. I turn to a young mid-twenty Blond, ice princess written all over her, cold and emotionless. I reach out and pat her hand. She melts before my eyes. She has that stiff upper lip Anna's English books talk about. "I'm Ray"

"I'm Andrea, Christian PA" she says more to herself than me. I pat her hand "it'll be alright"

"I hope so, thing have been so bad since he left." She cares about him, I wonder.

"Andrea, baby? I have some work then will do the trivia game. Oh' Hi! I'm Barney Grey's IT-super-god and this gorgeous lady fiancé!" Says a shaggy haired guy her age. I like him, everything is written on his face. Andrea shine in his light. "Ray"

"OH' Anna's father. Cool. We'll talk later, maybe you can play Disney trivia with us. We challenged The Adults (turning leering at Grace and Cary, I can tell they like him and he them) to a game." Andrea is giggling like a schoolgirl.

"We've been studying. You won't take us so easy like last time. Flintstones!" Grace laughs back

"Flintstones?"

"Yea I'm Barney and my coworker in Grey House computers is Fred; Flintstones. Fred is staying in Seattle working on some upgrades to the fire suppression system. Shit! Got to get online and some work done. Touch base with you later. Laters' pigeons. (smiling at the Greys) Laters' babe" he leans down and kiss Andrea. They are perfect together and totally in love.

"will you be happy when Christian gets back to work?" I ask Andrea

"Yea and No. Yes, he's a brilliant caring boss; always concerned about us and the quality of our lives. But he sacrifices his quality of life, working 16 to 20 hour a day seven days a week. Month after month. I hope your daughter can show him how important having a real life is. A not some secrxxxx. Sorry I said to much."

"I know about his alternate lifestyle. He was a consenting adult, with consenting adult partners. Gail tells me; Anna's not into that and Christian has given it up. Since Anna can overcome his touch problems. So? Don't worry. Anna is not going to be bullied by Grey." I say, noticing Grace is listening intently.

"Alright everyone gets seated and belted: we're in the air in less then five minutes." Luke calls. I see Elliott and Kate exist what looks like a bedroom. They were hiding. From me? Don't read things into it. Don't let your fears rule you Raymond Steele!

"Well Ray? We get breakfast as soon as were up. Hopefully a smooth ride. Grace hate turbulence." Cary smiles as Grace rolls her eyes. I smile.

"have you been to Disney world?" Grace asks.

"No, Disneyland when Anna was thirteen."

"Well? It's bigger with several different parks. We should be able to see and do a lot." Grace smiles unsure.

"I want to concentrate on Anna. Reconnecting if she's willing." I say unsure where this is going.

"Flynn believes we need to let them make the moves right now. Not smothering them or giving them hard choices. We have day plans for everyone; to make sure everyone has space." Cary speaks

"I thought the whole point of this was to reconnect?" I'm confused

"Ray, they are raw. We need to be there for them. But let them make decisions based on the future. Even if we are disappointed. We have to believe we will connect and be back to family and friends." Andrea pats my hand, leaning on my shoulder. I comfort her. Another daughter to shelter.

"Ok, it's just so hard. The guilty is so hard."

"Ray?" A soft afraid voice says. I see Kate standing in the aisle. The seatbelt sign is off. We're in the air head east for Florida. I look up into painful eyes.

"Can we talk in back?'

"Yes, Andrea excuse me."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"I'm sorry I failed Anna and you."

"Kate? We both failed Anna. We're attacked; Drugged out of our minds by evil shits bent on revenge and money. I wish? I had been stronger, seen thru Jose actions. But I didn't. I just didn't; instead I threw her out and hit her. I failed so bad. So bad."

"Ray, you said it, we were not to blame. We need to let the past go and move forward. I regret I let a smooth-talking con man in and manipulate me. That Anna had to save me again and again in the time we have been roommates." Kate says breaking down I take her in my arms and sit on the bed. We both cry for a while.

"Better Katie? We need to be strong. We have loving people in our life's that really care about us. Anna is strong and I believe she will reconnect with us. I have to believe." I say smoothing her hair and kissing her forehead. She smiles at me; love is in the air.

"Now about this boy of yours?"

"Elliott is everything I always dreamed about. Everything I need. We mesh and really are good. Anna used to tease me that I would fall for a mirror copy of me; party girl. She was so right. Elliott is a clown so people don't get close and see what a caring kind of guy he really is."

"Ok, your family?"

"They are non-gratis right now. I talked to the dad and mom; they are to into themselves to care or really commit to me; their daughter. To much past, to much history. I don't blame them, but I'm not playing the dutiful daughter anymore. Elliott backs me up; even Grace and Cary couldn't talk reality and sanity to them. So, for now they can stew, far away from me." Kate fire is coming back. I smile.

"your brother?" I ask about her self-absorbed brother the shrink in training.

"He came out of the closet finally; the parents aren't happy about that." Kate looks unsure

"What's wrong baby girl?"

"I just get unsure about everything. The psych scars from the drugs and my actions. I just need Anna to forgive me. Know? I was forced and not myself. That I was just so f ##$Ked up. So f%##$k up?" Kate cries some more.

"I have those fear, let wipe those tears and go eat something?" I smile at her. Getting up, we head to the front. Mia has breakfast ready, before we even get settled sitting. The girl can cook. Elliott joins us, drinking coffee. They all ate almost an hour ago.

Elliott is a clown, loving and caring. I can see Kate shines like I knew she would once she left those wild days behind. She craves the family she never had. She is getting better every mile we travel east. Soon, Anna will see us. Hopefully she will forgive and love us.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

wilderness lodge

We arrive to find the love bird tired of Orlando. Took off for a day at Cape Kennedy and the beach. They are due in an hour. Gail is waiting. She explains how things are going and how they will be. I can understand how Grace feels reduced. But she been here fore nearly two weeks. She knows the lay of the land.

"Ray, Roz, Elliott, Barney with me" Cary commands. We head out and down to the water. A boat is waiting with fishing gear. We head out to fish. I wonder why we left the women folk.

"Grace and Gail are going to fight. Mia, Andrea and Kate are going to mediate. I hope. We need to stay out of the way and just support our girls. Question?" Cary asks

"You left Gwen out?" Roz asks.

"Gwen is unfortunately going the referee. Since she knows both well enough to be listened to. I hope we aren't headed to a hospital when we get back." Cary looks back at the Lodge.

"Ah! Guys? Question? How do you fish?" Barney asks. We all look at him and laugh. We start fishing and help him. I have to say Barney's first worm on hook rivals Anna's.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Its late when we get to the dock. It's been a good day. Barney, I suspect is now hooked on fishing. Elliott is still wet from me throwing him in when he pushed Roz overboard. The two were a real hoot to listen to and watch.

"Hey Roz, you caught the smallest fish. Must be the perfume scared them off. Barney, don't you?" Elliott joke they goes dead quiet staring off the bow.

I turn to see what he sees. A copperhead guys stands on the pier. Looking lost, afraid and happy. This must be the prodigal son. Christians.

Cary steps on to the pier and they hug. We all disbark to hug. Even me. "Christian? This is Raymond Steele Anna's dad" Cary says.

"I know. Anna said I couldn't punch you out. Really like to, but Anna's rules." Christian smirks at me. I resist the urge to knock his block off.

"where are the girls?" Elliott asks

"They are headed back from the hospital right now. Seems Gail and mom got loud and then physical. Ending with Mia breaking her leg. We dropped Anna at the hospital on the way back. They are due in about hour depending on traffic. So? I have a table over at the Geyser Point Bar and Grill. Beers on wet ones once they get dry. Parks here will show you where your cabins are." Christian laughs as the wet one's head to change and the rest just head to the bar to wait our ladies.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Geyser Point Bar and Grill.

Geyser Point Bar and Grill patio is rocking as the Roz and Elliott show hit full swing. I'm likening this kid. He seems really honest about his trail and tribulations of late. I watch him bolt to a standing position; my daughter jumps into arms. They kiss like we don't exist. She turns to me as her feet hit the ground. She hugs me "Dad your forgiven. I love you."


	7. Chapter 7 Yaya Woman Club

FSOG CHP 07 Yaya Woman Club

Anna-pov

I walk into a fight. A real donnybrook as Ray liked to quote. These old ladies are experienced, this is no catfight. Jabs and kicks rain about the open living room of the Wilderness Lodge Cabin. Gail and who I assume is Grace are slamming about the living room. Kate and two girls are trying to break it up and getting bounced away all over the room. An elderly lady is laughing her ass off, must be Christian's Grandma T. A regal black lady is tapping her foot looking pissed. I look to Parks, he shrugs, shakes his head no. I can relate. I slide up to the tapping foot lady. Hi!"

"Hi, I'm Gwen. We talked on the phone."

"Yea. Our we breaking up the fight?"

"No, I told the girls to let them go. This has been brewing for years. They need to get it out of their system." The elderly lady walks over to us.

"Ok. Hi!" To the elderly lady as she hugs me, crying tears. Mumble what a God sent I am. I shake my head; I'm no saint, not even close.

"You must be Grandma T; I'm Anna." I say as the tall young blond get flipped over a couch. She rolls to us. I lean over and help her up. O'joy an amazon. I feel like a gnome.

"Hi! I'm Andrea, Christian's PA. Talk later." She moves back into the fray. "Kate grab Gail!" The miraculous Andrea, is more than I thought. Gail tells me she fanatically loyal to my man and the company. She going to marry Barney, who Gail descripted as super nerd meets Navy Seal. One of the few people to best Christian in kickboxing. So, she no threat to my relationship.

The black-haired pixie must be Mia. We talked a little; loud and hyper, energizer bunny according to Christian with a heart of gold. She taken a shine to Ray. Becoming his champion in reconciliation. I could like her, if I can overcome the pain of Ray's betrayal. I haven't decided yet. I watch as Gail tosses Kate into what I suspect is a bedroom. She spins a snap kick to Grace's chest. Flipping her over the over turned couch. She shakes off the hit and charges around the furniture to attack.

Mia tries to stop her: getting shoved thru door, disappearing **"ahhhhhhh!"** Comes from the door. We rush over, under a tangle of patio loungers; Mia is down with her leg at angle. Grandma T, the retired nurse, is in over drive. **"Gwen the leg is broken for sure, get medical!"** she kneels to help Mia. I turn and see Parks on his cell phone.

The fight in the living room continues. This has gone on enough, time to end this. The two mature matrons are not going to give an inch, Ockham's razor! I grab a dishtowel, wrapping it around my right hand. I take a breath and step into the donnybrook! I know the separating them is not going to work. I step up to Grace and deck her. She goes down. Two rapid shots and she down. Gail smiles till I deck her, three shots put her into la la land. Turning to a stunned and battered Kate and Andrea.

"Hi! Kate. Could you help Grandma T and Gwen on the patio; Mia broke her leg. Andrea get us a private doctor or whatever to get Mia fixed. Parks! Get the battling matron in a car, quietly as possible. **Alright people get moving**!" I scream. I walk to the kitchen and grab a water. I need to calm down.

I head out to find Jason and Christian near the Fire Geyser. "how'd it go?" Christian asks concerned.

"Mia broke her leg on patio lounges during the Battle of Mom's. Jason the matrons are going to the hospital. I had to put them down and out. My hand hurts." I whine. Christian takes my hand, kissing the knuckles. Soothing them. He looks guilty; always taking responsibility, whether deserved or no for the family failures and others crimes. I need to alleviate his pain, his guilty. I kiss him into his happy place, in my arms. As we break apart, reality comes in.

"What now?" he asks.

"Once they are loaded. I'm going to the hospital with the wounded. Hoping to calm them or beat them into civility. I'm not sure which will work. But they need to get over this guilty and fears. O'joy!" I say as Andrea walks up.

"Christian. Anna, the ladies are loaded; medics are stabilizing the leg. We are going to Arnold Palmer  
Medical Center." Andrea tells me. I can see the stress on Christian face. I must solve this before he gets into it.

"Ok! Christian. Jason has a room set up as an office. Andrea go with Christian and get him up to speed on business and anything else. I'll go with the ladies; solve the problem or exile. Jason you're with Christian. Period. Questions. Good get going." I kiss Christian "I'll deal with this, love you" whispering in his ear. "love you." Jason lead the way. "Andrea what's first on the list? Bye Anna!" I watch him leave me. My heart aches for him. Even this small moment apart hurt, making me hate the people making this separation. I must not let that color my path. I need a clear head and level temper.

They go off with Andrea talking like a computer, spitting out names, figures and I don't want to understand or know. Business shit makes my head ache. "Mrs. Grey?" Shaking the words in my head away, I turn to one of our local CPO. He gestures toward the pathway. I smile passing him, the CPO started calling me that on day one; Jason says it makes thing simpler with press and logistics.

Lucky the press has not caught on or up to us. I wonder how long that will last?

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hour later:

Andrea walks into the waiting room of the Arnold Palmer Medical Center Emergency Room. That was fast. I wonder what is going on.

"Christian, Jason and their CPO Thomas and crew are running till the guys get in from fishing. They will be at Geyser Point Bar and Grill patio when we show up. Thomas has enough crew and Tasers to prevent a paternal incident. The Wilderness Lodge staff has already cleared, cleaned, and repaired the cabin. Everyone signed NDAs,' everything is covered." Andrea quotes emotionless, almost robotic. I wonder if Super Geek Barney created her in Grey Houses A.I. lab.

"the business issues?"

"The files and email sent Sunday are updated, Emails replied and sent. Everything is good till Monday. Everything is covered."

I think she's patronizing me? "**Do we have a problem?"** I ask at her snobby attitude. Amazon or not; I will kick her ass. My temper is getting to me.

"Anna dear! A word!" Grandma T asks me. We step out into the main hallway. What now?

"Anna? Everyone has a different way of dealing with crisis. You and Gwen problem solve. Mia and Kate empathy and support. Andrea and me are cold logic and suppression of emotions. Andrea is not talking down to you. She is dealing with all this in her way. She; Like us. All of us are unsure how to relate and deal with you. An you to Us. So? Can you and Andrea start over?" Grandma T lays the world on me. I am a fool. I look had her and at nervous Andrea in the entrance to the waiting room of the Arnold Palmer Medical Center Emergency Room. I stop and think: give Grandma T words meaning and weight.

I walk to Andrea and hug her; she melts into me. Whispering sorry and everything will be better, the Ice Princess has a soft tender soul. Hiding behind the brittle cold exterior. I remember a teacher in School; professional, hard and emotionless; till she one on one with me overcoming the lost year with #3. She was under the shell emotional soft old soul willing to do everything to see me heal and succeed.

We return to the waiting room. The doctors walk into the room.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Arnold Palmer Medical Center Emergency Room. Observation Room Three-A: Andrea-pov

The battling mothers-hens lay side by side in their matching hospital gowns and beds. Grandma T sits between them; hoping to prevent a repeat of the cabin brawl. Both are still groggy from the petite coed; Surprised me, iron fist and the will to use it. I would have thought an English major with no sports other than aerobics, classic wimp; not a bad-ass brawler. The hug made me see the true girl is just like Ray described on the flight. But again, she is with Christian, holding her own and unafraid to take on all of us. I think Gail is most surprised by Anna martial skills. She's been here for weeks with the girl. I know Ray is responsible; that bas ##d #3 must have hurt my girl badly. Badly enough for Ray to train little badass into a lethal weapon.

"Good your awake! How are you two feeling?"

"WHO HIT ME?" Grace demands wincing at her loud words. Serves her right. I stifle a laugh, Loud enough to cause the battling matrons to whimper.

"Anna dropped both of you. Word of Advice; Don't fight the feisty little coed." I laugh and does 'T and Gwen walking in.

"my jaw hurts what did she hit us with?" Gail asks, rubbing her jaw.

"Just her fist wrapped in a dishtowel." I laugh harder. Badass Anna!

"Well lucky for you two Mia only has a simple break of her left lower leg. Doctor's set it and are casting now. She'll be on crutches and a leg scooter for a month." Gwen interjects

"You hurt my daughter, Gail we are not!" Grace starts.

"**Shut up!"** Gwen yells getting everyone attention.

"You both need to get your heads out of your asses and start over. You both broke Mia leg; fighting over what? Who Christian loves more? Well he loves you both equally. You both are important to his life. You two petty, jealous bitches, arguing over Christian like he's a bone. He's a sweet damage soul who needs **you both**; You both supporting him. Not in some bizarre competition in your screwed-up heads. Now from this point forward **you'll behave or else!"** Gwen demands. She is another petite powerhouse, my friend shines. The mother hens stay quiet, another surprise.

"Well, this is an ironic sticky situation. Either of you can demand another go with me. But the outcome is the same. NOW! If you cannot move on from this, your both going home. And you will not be in Christians life, period. Doubt me at your peril! Now: formal introductions. I'm Anastasia Rose Steele, Christian's fiancés, Senior at WSU. English Literature major with a minor in publishing, I had a bad August; don't make me exile either or both of you. In Christian life; I'm the head Bitch and you all are here at my sufferance. **Clear!"** Anna barges in and takes charge. I marvel at the petite girl's courage and ramrod force of wills.

"That being said. Christian's birth mother is dead. His birth father is unknown. Starting today: you're clearly defined roles will be. You are Christians adopted mother (pointing at Grace). Jason & Gail are Christian's adopted Aunt and Uncle. Those roles and parameters should allow you two to coexist is some harmony. You need to find common ground, not mutts fight over a small bone." Anna finishes her lecture. Folding her arm across her chest. She looks like Etta Place; schoolteacher of legend or movies.

They glare at each other, not realizing this is now or never. "Grace, Gail I love you both but chose family or self-interest. Because if your exiled; you're out of the family totally." Grandma T puts the nail in deep.

"Alright, I can live with Gail being Christian's Aunt. I know I'm irrational over this. But it hurts so bad, the betrayal and everything." Grace cries. Gail tenderly gets out of bed and gets into Grace's, hugging her.

"We both tried to save him, that evil troll prevented us from saving him. We need to be strong and caring to help him and Anna. We can be friends and have a chance to make things right. Sister's?" Gail says. As we all watch two damaged women start to heal the scars and wounds inflicted by evil troll no longer in our lives. I relax as things are going well. The two matrons whisper, cry and heal the damage from that evil troll.

"Would you like to know about Christian birth father?" Gwen unloads a bomb blast in the small room. Everyone turns to her. "Several years ago; I obtained his DNA sample and had it run hopping to find Christian birth Father; to help him from the darkness he was falling into." Gwen speaks sure and afraid.

"Why?" Grandma T asks

"When I was sixteen; I came out to my parents. They reacted badly. Kicking me out; a month later I tried to reconnect with my mother. She handed me an envelope. In it was my adoption papers, and my parent's obituary. The woman I thought was my mother was my birth mother's younger sister. My mother and her wife died when a Truck driver suffered a stroke. They were two of five people killed in the crash." She takes a breath.

"My surrogate birth father, a friend of my birth parents, died with 137 others when Delta flight 191 flew into heavy winds as it approached Dallas-Fort Worth International; he was an Architect of some note. I know Christian's pain about the holes in one's past. I had the sample; I ran it thru Interpol, crime and military databases. No relatives or links came to light. We do know that Christian father was 60% Belgium from the Kortrijk region in Southern West Flanders. 20% Irish from around Kinmare. 15% from Onondaga of Iroquois Nation. With the remainder a mix of eastern European and Scandinavian." Gwen recites

"How did you? Differentiae Ella DNA?" Grace asks.

"Carrick had a sample of Ella DNA. His search ended with Ella's foundling birth certificate in EL Paso Texas when she was six months old. Ella was 50% French, twenty percent Italian, with 10% African American, the rest a Hodge-podge of more than twenty countries. The closet matches to her Genetics was the Ex-patriot Napoleonian French and Creole population in and around New Orleans. No relatives or families were identified." Gwen speaks softly has Anna hugs her.

"I always had a connection to Christian; we were both adopted, abused, and never felt comfortable fitting into the new families. We both found our soulmates, although he did take a lot longer. (Hugging Anna Tighter.) I knew about his Bdsm. I noticed a strange car in his Escala parking spot, when we stay there during our condo remodel. I saw it leave Escala; I followed it. His Submissive when to a Bdsm club to bartender. I asked around. I understood the lifestyle from my Uncle Benny." Gwen confesses

"Why didn't you tell me?" Grace cries

"I knew it was consensual between adult. Not your business Grace. I didn't know that an evil troll had corrupted him and the lifestyle. If I had I would have put a stop to it, before his meltdown." Gwen says with conviction.

"Whose Uncle Benny" Mia says wheeling into the room on her leg scooter.

"After my parents, who were my maternal aunt and uncle, my birth mother's younger sister; kicked me out. I lived on the streets for a few weeks. Till I met this older dapper gentleman in a Gay bar, I lied to waitress in. He was kind and help me get my feet under me, finish high school and make a start at college. I wasn't the first gay kid abandoned on the street nor was I last he helped and mentored into adulthood. Benny was an antique dealer specializing in American furniture and part-time history professor at New York City College. Kind gentle man who was a Dominate in the BDSM culture. I was shocked; till he explained it to me. I had a hard time imaging the four-piece English suit wearing grandfather as a leather and chain wearing Leatherman. Benny is retired now, living in an assisted nursing home here in Florida; visited often by his horde of adopted kids, grand-kids and great-grand-kids. Roz and me plan to visit him in Boca after you all return to Seattle." Gwen beams when talking about him. He must be a hell of a guy.

"Well that settled. Questions?" I demand to get us out of here and back to the lodge. I need some geek to sooth my bruises and aches. Barney is an obsessed sex machine. I knew letting him research Tantric was a mistake: I'd gladly do it again, most days. Today, I just want to lounge by the pool, sun and ogle my man's hot super geek body while he does his forty daily laps in the pool. My man.

Well a shocking surprise; no questions. Once the nurse hands us Mia paperwork, a stop a pharmacy for med's and sundries we head back. I get the matrons singing pop song of the eighties. We are a happier bunch arriving at the Geyser Point Bar and Grill patio to the men folk.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Wilderness lodge 3hr later:

We are mostly around the pool as the parade floats past us on the lake. The matrons exiled to their rooms with contrite spouses. To fu ##k and heal, vent and make up; get their respective heads out of their asses.

Us: Kids are goofing around the pool area. Roz is all over Gwen in the pool. I marvel at their childish laughter's chasing each other around the pool and down the big slide. So, different from Roz normal power executive take no prisoner hard-ass demeanor.

Elliott and Kate are close behind them. Our forever children, both I think will be very successful professionally, while still maintaining their innocent lust for life. I will bet their children to be serious mini-Christians, just to be the opposites of their free-for-all parents.

The Grands are necking like teenagers in the lounger a couple chaise loungers down the row. Disney staff had to warn them about their excessive PDA. I laughed at the teenage cast members trying to scold and cool down the geriatric couple old enough to be their grandparents or great grandparents. Their expressions priceless, disgust, awe and panic. I laugh hard at the ironic skit.

Barney massaged me to happiness before we came down here. Now he's lapping the pool with Christian and Luke. Anna two loungers to my right; is reading on a tablet of some deep British novel from the last century, sneaking peaks at her man. Mia two loungers to my left; tablet glowing red ordering cloths to fit and accent her cast. Fashionista, sneaking peaks at her man. I laugh under my Scientific America magazine. Sneaking peaks at them and my Barney

I study her (Anna); watching her emotions as she reads, every few minutes looking at her man. She just has to catch his attention to have him at her side. I had to throw my suntan oil to get Barney's attention. Mia threw Luke's phone into the pool, nearly hitting his head to get his attention. I must have her tryout for the company softball team, the 'Secretaries' (team) needs a good pitcher. I laughed at his mock horror. Like Jason doesn't have a half dozen on stand-by for the mercurial Christian.

Anna seems like a mass of contradiction: meek and wildcat. Courageous and afraid. She seems more than a match for Christian. Christian seems changed from his old monster. More manners and dangerously smarter; his insight into the company's current business deals is eye opening. The best of the old Christian's professional ability coupled with a calmer more focused new man. Any indecision or worries replaced with conviction and willingness to do the best thing. Losses from his escape, quickly recovered. Roz and him already closed three deals while snacking at the Geyser Point Bar and Grill patio waiting for us.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Next day: 8am wilderness boat dock. Mia-pov

I wheel up on to the dock, Luke puffing behind me. I really enjoyed the downhill grade, speeding away from my man. I laugh as Ray looks disproving at my dangerous antics. I get it, but it was so fun. I hug him as we turn to Grandpa and Anna walking up like old friends. Great! Another female to compete with for Grandpa attention.

"where's Christian's?"

"Christian is with Grace and Carrick at Animal Kingdom.  Jason and Gail are with Barney and Andrea over at Hogwarts. Gwen, Roz and Grandma T are over at Grand Floridian Senses Spa. Their doing all those revitalizing techniques and therapies things; You know facials, massages, body wraps and aromatherapy; The girlie things! (Ray and Grandpa tease us). We are going the Magic Kingdom. Ray and me escorting our way wander waifs. (he hugs me kissing my head. I feel better) Chaperoning Luke, who's doubling your close CPO. So, shall we go, the guide is waiting at the Magic Kingdom receiving dock. A matronly Disneyworld expert; We felt was needed, knowing you two Disneyaholics." Grandpa smile at us. We both shrug, giggle and get on the boat.

"Well we have early entry. What should we ride first"? Ray asks. As Luke looks happy scanning around. My super bodyguard!

"SPACE MOUNTAIN!" Anna and I yell. Acting like teenagers. Luke laughs; Ray and Grandpa smirk at our antics as the Seven Sea gives way to the glorious Magic Kingdom.

"Ok, then what?" Grandpa T laughs.

"Again, and again, Till Daddy Takes Our T-Bird Away" scream Anna. We walk into the park sing old Beachboy and Jan and Dean songs. Ray bass is funny as Grandpa fakes the soprano parts. Our guide must think us possessed or insane. Till she sings up the Space Mountain ramp

"And everybody's sayin' that there's nobody meaner  
Than the little old lady from Pasadena  
She's the terror of Colorado Boulevard

Go, Granny, go, Granny, go Granny go" xxxx Jan and Dean "The Little Old Lady lyrics"

Jennie laughs "I'm originally from Pasadena, now I'm a grandmother. My fireball red Porsche is in the employee lot. My husband says one more speeding ticket and I drive the dull, slow SUV for the rest of the year." She laughs as we ques up for the ride.

"Let have fun" She laughs, explaining the Disney fanatic things around us. We ride: She holds open the Chicken door (door exit to bypass the Ride going to the post ride exhibits: Thus, people too chicken to ride Space Mountain Coaster: hardcore coaster-heads sneak back thru the door to avoid running around outside of Space Mountain to reenter the ques) for us to ride again and again. I ride first with Luke, who turns green; better buck up cowboy, I'm a thrill-seeking coaster head. I ride with Grandpa next another Coaster head. Then Ray, who is just as wild as Grandpa T. The final ride before the general public horde arrives is with Anna, another coaster head. We rule!

Anna rides with Grandpa T, then Ray. Then by herself, as Luke is still looking a little green. At least he brings my crutches around to me at the ride exit to race back to the ride line, thru the chicken door. We waltz thru the exit exhibits. Wandering over to the Speedway: We're chasing the older guys; bumping the guys. As Luke screams for me not to bump, taunt, or just be crazy on the track-bound car. Like I could do anything other than minor bumps. "Luke stop side seat driving. Wait till we go go-carting at home."

"Mia, we are not!"

"Lukee! Dear! Yes, we are!" I scream. Letting the wheel go and kissing him till we run into the end the race ques smacking Grandpa and Jeanie Speedway Racing Car.

We race around the Park, randomly riding things, acting like teenagers. I find Anna to be exciting and daring like me, with a deeper knowledge of life and the world than me. Grandpa T shows us a selfie of grandma in a green face mask treatment acting like a monster, her standard gag. We all laugh. Pics of Roz looking so out of place as an attendant applies her facial mask. I'm putting that on the Grey House employee Facebook page. Gwen looks asleep. We will have to try the spa.

"Anna, have you?" I ask

"No. I used the Wilderness Lodge Salon by the Springs, for a waxing and haircut when we first got here. You should have seen Christian when the Male stylist did my hair. If Tyrone didn't blow Christian a kiss and comment on his tight booty; I feared Christian was going to beat him up. Your brother is very jealous boy" Anna laughs giggling at Ray and Grandpa discussing their facial and waxing treatment. Like either would do it or any of the things they joke. Teasing us about our girlie ways.

"Well, Christian always horded his toys." I laugh showing a plastic sword from Frontier Trading Post.

"Yepa! I'm his favorite toy. But my favorite toy is your brother's very big. I mean really big, like deformed Big Foot size!" Anna looks so serious. Shit! I don't want to know. I toss the sword to Luke and speed my leg scooter "La! LAA! LAA! LA! LAAAAAA!" I scream. Stopping near the Rivers of America water way on a bench.

The guy's head over to the Liberty Square Market: While Anna get her and me popcorn. They return chomping Apples. Laughing at us sitting on a bench along the river's edge. Jeanie is looking at her phone for ride options.

Anna is smiling at the world at large pass-by in clumps of family groups. She is a marvel, we got so lucky Christian found her. She tosses a kernel at the guys, laughing at Ray's stern carnage look. She giggles at his fake mood. She retains this innocent, navies lust for life. A very strange mix. Sitting behind the Stocks in Liberty Square eating popcorn as the Guys complain about our energy levels.

"I got Christian in the Pilot House of The Paddle Wheeler. He was twelve again blowing the horn!" Anna tells me.

I stare out onto the Rivers of America as the River Boat leaves the dock; Christian like he was before the hormones and that evil troll changed him. I relax into Grandpa's arms. I can't wait to see my brother happy and acting like a kid. I tried so hard, never realizing that that evil troll was thwarting my attempts. If she wasn't dead, I'd kill her with my bare hands.

"Mia what wrong?" Grandpa T asks sitting hugging me. I look around Ray and Anna are walking to the Frozen Juice cart.

"That evil troll thwarting my attempts to help Christian. That I failed to help him."

"Mia, we all were thwarted. We didn't fail because we tried. If we knew that **thing** was hurting him, controlling him, manipulating him. We would have saved him. But we didn't till it was too late. Now we have a chance to heal and reform the family. Anna and Ray are helping us. Becoming a family again."

I watch them walking to us with frozen juices for us. We lick walking toward Splash Mountain. The day resolves into coasters and shows. Rides and just having fun. I watch Luke shine under Grandpa T and Ray mentoring; The money thing is fading as he's accepted for who he is, not his Dun and Bradstreet.

Ray-pov:

I watch my daughter, scream like a child over the noise of the Prince Charming Regal Carousel. Laughing and goofing; She is happy. She is a happy little girl again. Before Carla f##$ked up our lives. An me letting Jose destroy my relationship with my daughter.

_Our first trip to Disneyland, we did a second less fun on after #3; when Anna was thirteen. Annie is nine; we walk thru the Disneyland Fantasy Land. Carla disappeared hours ago. Said she was heading back to the hotel claiming a headache; Down S. Manchester Ave., our Holiday Inn Express & Suites near the freeway it's close enough to walk. Like Carla would walk when any guy could give her a lift, for a hand job. Does she think I'm stupid: her and the rich guy sitting next to her during the afternoon parade? They both disappeared, watching his wife's face at their abandonment of spouse and children; said it all. Annie is very subdued. _

_Annie knows all about her mother infidelity, never saying a word. Her happiness is turning to quiet disillusion. Must change the mood. Make Annie happy. That is the most important thing, my daughter's happiness. **"Annie Coasters!"** _

_She fakes happiness to make me stop worrying about her. **"Yea! **_**_Thunder Road_**_**!**" taking her hand we head over to the entrance. Carla hated coasters, claiming it messed up her hair. We ride every coaster in __Disneyland and California Adventure__, multiple times. We spent the next two days in happiest days of my life. Just the two of us. Carla showed up as we were packing the car for the return trip. Must talk to a lawyer and make sure the custody is air tight. _

I watch Annie and Mia race about to Under the Sea-Journey of the Little Mermaid. Laughing and goofing about their boyfriends. I notice Luke is far enough away to not hear, and close enough to protect us. I hug him, letting him know we care and he is accepted. "Their healing, becoming the young women we always wished and prayed they would be". Young woman: she has exceeded my dreams for her, I laugh as we head into the ride. Today is a good day, Strike that. Today is the best day of my life. Both my girls are happy and normal. Well normal for us.

Xxxxxxxx

Mia-pov

Jennie has feed our Disney trivia addiction; We promise to take the backstage tours here and at the other parks before we leave. We wave as the boat carries us back to the Lodge. I relax in Luke's arms; the night air is cooling from the days heat. Grandpa and Ray are planning a dinner at Disney's Old Key West Resort with Grandma T and some billiard ball pool sharking.

After dinner; Us kids are going to Walt Disney World Swan Hotel Fantasia Gardens and Fairways Miniature Golf. The web site shows putt through whimsical scenes featuring tutu-clad hippos, marching broomsticks and pirouetting ostriches. The Fantasia Gardens Miniature Golf Course has twirling obstacles, cross fanciful fountains and discover musical surprises. The website warns of the broomsticks, dousing golfers who pass below! Anna and me aren't telling the guys, nor Andrea and Barney or Elliott and Kate. I giggle as the thought as we speed thru the night to play. Christian is very relaxed holding Anna. I mellow as the night turns into one of the best times of my life.

We play three rounds. Couples, girls vs. boys and truth & dare.

Anna and Christian take the couples. How my brother who I always beat on the real golf course kicks Elliott and my ass on this miniature one; I don't know. We girls handedly beat the guys, maybe we cheated a little using our female assets to bother the guys, ruin their game. A girl got to do what a girl got to do to win. The guys didn't complain till they realized what was the bet. Luke is in for a hell of a week, as he has to ride every coaster with me, at least once.

The True or Dare round had Luke in a near fight with my over protective brothers. Till Kate and Anna popped their family jewels to behave. Anna had to flash Christian on hole Nine. Kate mooned Elliott on 14. Groping my man on 17. We head back to the lodge; before getting arrested for obscene PDA.

Tomorrow; we eight kids are going MGM. The adults and Grand's are going to Magic kingdom. We are meeting at the Magic Kingdom Castle restaurant for dinner during the evening show.

Xxxxxx

Carla-pov

Savanah, Georgia: same time, same day

The wasted street, line of homeless tents and box and grate houses. The dregs of society final refuge. I drive thru, remembering my youth, my lost innocent and youth in these shit-hole slums. I will not spend my retirement in these wards. Bob is talking to his sister in secret, arranging a place to stay, without me.

He called his stuck-up bible thumping sister and her biased husband for a room, a bed to stay to ride out the storm of debts. Mostly from his failed business. No place for his wife, no bed for me! I make our last time in the sack the memorable one. It will be a long time before his little tool get hard without pain. He's to scared to go the hospital to get the five or six stitches. The bite on his little thing. I need a real man, a real person to satisfy me. I laugh.

I need a place to hide, disappear for several months. But where? Who ever is hunting me, persecuting me? My so-called friends are shunning me. I see a recruiter office. Yes? Go back to the scene of the crime. My selfish daughter ruined my life. I head north on 95. Everything of value or mine is in the car. I will contact the Colonel, he's at Bragg. I head west into the North Carolina woods; into the Camo slums outside the gate. The Colonel has a farm overlooking Lake Surf. He will have to take me in; I know the secrets of Frank Lambert and his accident. His last beard died of cancer several years ago. Saw him at a scene in Atlanta last Christmas. Still the pathetic bisexual submissive; I smile at least he won't screw me, even if he could get it up. The closeted Colonel will beg me to let him have some loser trooper. The submissive wimps.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Leia-pov

I watch the building, the building owned by my husband. Grey house, my house as soon as my loser husband shows up. Madam, may she rest in peace, married us on the way east to her hidden retreat in Utah. Madam, may she rest in peace, secret hideaway in South Central Utah Down Highway 125; Outside of Oak City. Up Oak Creek Canyon Rd To Dry Creek Rd To the Base of Prouse Canyon. The self-sufficient house with a really nice game room. Had to clean it for four days after my slave expired. Too much electricity, I guess.

I stayed hidden as Madam, may she rest in peace, as instructed till the food and power ran out. When my slave arrives, he will fix the problems. I flashback to the bored, pathetic businessman from Ogden I car jacked after the car crash. I buried him behind the gazebo in an arroyo. Far enough to not smell him, close enough to visit the remains. I like the feel as his life passed between life and death. Time and time again in my game room.

I watch the peons walk in and out of my house, my property. After passing my apprenticeship as a submissive. Madam, may she rest in peace, trained me and my foster brother as Dominates. My husband was a terrible dominate, Madam, may she rest in peace, declared him a submissive again. He failed his test to be a master. He will be happy as a submissive again. I grow tired, I head to the house I stay at for now, soon I will sit watch the little things from my penthouse in Escala: one of Madam's, may she rest in peace, slaves. A pathetic man, a pitiful toy. But its will due for now. Best of all gimp is an associates in My father-in-law Carrick Greys' law firm. I think some black candles and some electrical stimulates; I like electrical stimulation, the dancing makes me laugh. I look on last time at Grey house, Soon! Soon Bitch you're mine.


	8. Chapter 8 island in the stream

Fsog chp08 island in the stream

I walk along the path that Anna lead me down weeks ago. My parents are cooling themselves at the It's Tough to be a Bug! Show; before I send them home in exile. Jason is shadowing me, letting me have space and air to think. Everyone has learned to let me be in these moments, the hard way. I love them, but they bounce from one extreme to another extreme. The fight yesterday is proof of mom's ongoing problem. Flynn is counseling them.

At the rate we're using him, he could buy a couple of colleges to retired at. Dad's insecurity over our past conflicts has made him vacillate from hugging to screaming; guilty to empathy. He seems to not have a middle ground. I need to see clearly, not thru the eyes of a hurt child. The world has turned and they don't see it. I've changed from the hurt child, egotistical teen, vengeful man. To me, here and now, the man at peace with himself and in love with my wife. That tidbit is sure to screw their heads off. Last week we evade the watchdogs and got married at the magic kingdom castle.

I'm thinking this day was a mistake. I want to go back to happier days with just Anna, just us. I wander thru the Pangani forest stopping to watch the western lowland gorillas on a grassy hillside watching me in the Gorilla Falls Exploration Trail. I need to do this, make the hard option. Do I? Do I really want to abandon my family, again? I really need to do something? What! I pull my hair. The pain focuses me.

Buzz! Buzz! My phone rings, I look down at the screen. Anna!

"hi baby!" I try to sound cheerful and unworried, the last thing I need to do is stress her and ruin her reconnection with her father.

"I felt panic, fear while riding on the Speedway. _**Was ist los**_?" Anna demands. I'm boned she speaking German. Her you can't ignore or avoid me tone. I need her to save me from myself. Help me see the true.

"my parents jumped off the deep end right from the start. Wanting answers, I don't have for my previous sex life. I don't have any answers. You know how it is." I tell her truthfully. I really don't know why I did it or why I kept doing it. The whole BDSM thing is a fog. That part of my life is just gone. I think the blue lake in the mountains that saved me, erased the misery that lifestyle brought.

I like the kink and Anna loves the kink, but inflicting pain makes me sick. I think it always did.

"_**was ist los**_?" Anna repeats.

"I thinking of you and silk scarf." I blush looking around me. Good only the gorilla's see me, and they're not talking, yet.

"ignore them, Chris. That part is gone and they are going to have to accept it. Maybe move forward in other areas you all can agree on. I know, I don't what you remembering those painful miseries. So? Tell them stop and move on. Ok. Got to go the race is almost over. And Mia is driving like a, correction she's making shortstop with Luke. Got to go baby."

"ok laters baby" I like that Mia has Luke, Elliot thinks "we" need to beat him up, the old me might have. The new me knows and understand how fragile love and connecting with one's soulmates. How really hard a soulmate is to find and keep. Elliot's on his own. I head back to meet up with the adults. I feel lighter with Anna advice.

Jason seems relaxed after I talked to Anna. Knowing she is helping me deal with my parents. I think on a plan and realize that it's bullshit; I can't make them move on; I can only make myself move on from the bitter seeds in my past. I blow a kiss to the ever-present watchful meerkats as I leave the trail. Anna got us doing these stupid things, I laugh! We are two goofballs in this mad, mad pinball machine we call life.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Under the tree of life; Disney animal kingdom. Forty minutes ago: Carrick-pov

"Grace, we screwed up. We know he doesn't want to review the past, hash out old wounds. We need to think about only the future and right now."

"Cary, it hard to carry the guilty of failure. Failure has his mother, a person, just has his friend. I try but i need to know where i went wrong?"

"Grace, we didn't go wrong! We! All of us. We're manipulated and corrupted by that evil bit#h. She did the wrong, she destroyed our family. That all we need to know and understand. We need to move forward. Not live in the guilty and the past."

"I understand, but"

"no but's Grace. Put those thoughts out of your mind and mouth. I want to play with my grandkids. Walk Mia down the aisle. Play football with my sons and grandkids, great-grandkids. We can't do that if we can't forgive the past and step into the new light. We have a chance to make amends and be the parents are kids deserve and need."

"you're right. I need to be more like my mother. Forgive and move on. I don't think i can ever forget."

Grace's mom walks up to us, looking concerned: "you never forget, Gracie. You learn over time and pain to forgive not the evil people, but yourself. Now you need to go wait Christian out. He is working on decisions no one wants him to make. Jason called me, I rushed over from the spa. To help you see the person you are, not the one you think you are in your mind. My daughter the kind, caring, no-nonsense mother and doctor. Now wipe those tears; a look out over the scrubs at those happy families. Those are the memories you want to remember, the glorious days and nights to follow."

"thanks' mom." Graces says hugging her mother

"buzz! Buzz! Buzz!" Grandma t cell explodes.

"what's wrong? Oh? She did, ok! Excellent. I'm with them at animal kingdom, Jason called me. Love you rascal." T says we stare at her. She laughs.

"well wayward children. We will all light a candle for Saint Anna of WSU. She felt something was wrong and called Christian from a Speedway car of all things. Ray told t that Christian was near breaking about you two. No! Don't go there? It settled, you agreed to forgive the past and move on." Grandma t says.

"we'll try but answers would help" Grace says. I want to wring her neck, not this again.

"Gracie. He can't answer, because he has no answer. The breakdown erased all of that shit." I say to sooth her woes and strength my resolve. Jason told me Christian can only remember vague memories of his secret life before the blue lake in the mountain, that cleansed his soul and mind. I will find that lake and make sure it remains pure and pristine forever as thanks for healing my son. I turn back to my wife. I drifted away for a second.

"your right Gail told me the same thing. I need to stop analyzing this failure and look forward." Grace looks unconvinced, I'm about to speak, lay down the law.

"Grace did you cause Christian birth mother to be a drug addict, fall under the control of a sadistic evil man who burned your son? Did you cause Christian to feel unloved?" T demands

"no of course not!" Grace barks nears tears.

"did you give that evil thing Christian to abuse and subvert?"

"mom! I would never!"

"the failure you seek my daughter is being a loving mother who only wants her children to be happy. None of us saw the evil that thing hide and brought into Christian's life. If we had! One of us would be visiting the other in supermax! We trusted people to be our friends, we can't live our lives thinking everyone is evil, out to hurt us. We can only judge on the merits, and move forward from that. See the simple logic?" Theresa's smiles at her daughter.

"your right. I can only go on what I know and see. Zebras on the veld, not unicorns." Grace hugs me, she has let go guilty. We can move forward. Move back into a family.

we head over to wait Christian meander thru the gorilla falls exploration trail. Getting dole whips at Tamu Tamu. I steal a lick, making Gracie giggle like a schoolgirl.

Christian-pov:

They are waiting at Tamu Tamu sucking Dole Whips. It now or never.

"mom; dad. The past is gone. I can't unchanged what I did, what I was then. That part of me is gone, I hope forever. Anna is my present and future. Please move on."

"son; we have to let go of the guilty, and pain we caused you and our other children. You're right we can't unchanged the past. We both agreed that looking backwards is not going to make our family whole and strong. Forgive us." Dad says. I hug him, making him know i forgive him.

"well that being said, Christian escort me to meet the Yeti." Mom takes my arm handing me a Dole Whip as we head for the coaster.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Elliott-pov

I walk with Kate from the putt-putt golf course, following my little brother, giggling, and laughing with Anna and mia. God I've waited a life time to see this. My brother healed and happy. I feel my girl lean into me, making me feel loved and safe with the world.

"Elliott what's wrong, baby?"

"I never let myself dream that Christian would be so carefree and happy. I worried all that pain and control would make him bitter and cruel. That we couldn't save him, bring him back to us. Make him see we loved him. Now everything is golden. You, me, them, everyone is seeing tomorrow golden, just golden." I kiss Kate like there is no tomorrow, making out in the back seat we ignore the "**EWW!**" And "**GROSS!"** Comments from the unenlightened in front.

I dance my girl into our room, making moves to end the night on a sex fest highpoint, "buzz! Buzz!" "Danger Will Robinson" "Danger Will Robinson" my phone goes off, shit my emergency line.

"yes!" "what Clint? She wants what?" I pace this is what I was born for. "Clint I'm airborne in thirty minutes. Have Harper meet me in **Olympia**, with his duffel bag. Yes, I said with his duffel bag." I turn to a concerned Kate.

"I have to go; I will be back. Don't let anyone follow me." I run out the door, ordering a plane for immediate flight home to Washington. Why an old friend called me with a red flag, I don't know? But she wouldn't have unless it was serious. She's into the shit Christian was into, and that evil troll. I think long and hard as the car speeds into the night.

The plane taxis up to Orlando's Executive Airport Private Terminal. I start for the plane, notice a shadow on my six. I turn to Ray running up to me. "Ray?"

"Kate's worried about you? So, I'm tagging along." He grunts I that I will be obeyed officer voice. I shrug, I don't have the time to argue. If need be, I'll dump him in Tacoma. We board, strap in, I crash into a fitful slumber.

Ray-pov:

I just make the plane. Kate was crying that something bad was happening to Elliott. She said his foreman Clint called and Elliott demand Harper meet him, "who's Harper?"

"he's Elliott's Jason; a gunnery sergeant from something called force recon and embassy security. He handles grey construction security. Even Elliott's afraid of him. Told him to bring his duffel bag whatever that is? I know it's bad."

"alright I'll follow him try to keep him out of trouble." I run for a car; I get Disney security to red light me to the airport Elliott's head for. Elliott promptly goes to sleep and doesn't wake till we land in Olympia at Hoskins Field.

"I have to meet a lady, discreetly, alone. You will wait in the car." Elliott say like I've never seen him. Hard and merciless, the evil side of Elliott. I wonder if i need to put him down for his own good.

"Kate?" I ask. He ignores the questions, not a good sign.

"this is family business, hopefully she has something useful to tell me." We disembark the plane. A heavy short man with ugly eyes watches us, this scream marine. "your Harper. I'm Major Steele. Questions?"

"I work for Elliott."

"you both work for me in this, whatever this is. Understand or you both are going to the hospital for cast." I bark in my best ranger voice.

Harper looks to Elliott, "OK, but you're not going in either of you. Once she tells what she needed to tell me then we'll see how who's the boss." Elliott says. We board a van. Elliott drive into the waterfront mansion off the elite and powerful. Parking at a dead-end access loop to a path down to the water. "stay here."

I watch him jog up the street to a hidden gate and disappear into mansion. I goggle the address, whoa Lt. Governor house, the lady is widowed and Former Ambassador to Italy and France, State Senator. I wonder what is going on.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Elliott-pov 0700am

I'm show into the four-season patio, i build for her three years ago. She is looking hot for a seventy-plus-year-old. Still fit and dangerous, a cougar of legend and myth. She looks pained to see me.

"Elliott please sit, coffee like you like it. I understand your engaged to Katherine Kavanagh."

"is this about that Miranda?"

"no, it's about paying my debt to you."

"what debt?"

"I knew your brother was into the lifestyle. I didn't know how he got into. Honestly if I did, I would have told you to get him out of it. Lincoln was an extremist; I just thought your brother with his touch issues was also into the extreme. I knew he practiced consensual and sane rules in his lifestyle. So i never told you."

"I take your word Miranda. That evil troll had everyone blinded. Is that all you had to say?"

"no, a prodigy of evil troll has surfaced in Seattle. A submissive was seriously hurt by him. She's contacted me for help. His name is Jack Hyde and he is hunting your family with evil in his heart. He's a mad dog needing to be put down. Thomas will take you to the poor girl, she's in a rehab hospital outside of Spokane. She has the information you need to protect your family." I stand ready to leave.

"thank you, Miranda, why?"

"we had a good time when you were in college, you kept my secrets. You never made me feel bad about our friendship. I wish we could have been lovers, but I cherish our friendship. Your one of the few men in my life I can say that about." She rises and kisses my cheek. "you're the son I wish I still had." She tears up, her only son died fighting in Iraq. We played on the same team at Stanford, my best friend and college roommate. "Miranda, I still love you; like I love Grace. Jeff loved you beyond anything that happen between you two."

"thank you, Elliott. Go and protect your family. I expect you as a pallbearer at my funeral."

"no hope for the cancer?"

"no. I'm resolved to my fate, and how I lived my life. Go marry that girl of yours, have kids be happy."

"we will once these evil shits are gone. If it's a boy I'll name him Jeff, if a daughter I'm cursed with; her middle name will be Miranda." I kiss her cheek. Turning and walking away, so see doesn't see my tears. The great lady is slowly fading. Jeff would have been a wreak if he was here. Despite his argument over her lifestyle, he loved her with all his heart, like me a mommy boy. Thomas follows me to the van; we head back to the airport. Miranda laid on a chopper to Spokane.

I don't say anything, as Thomas briefs Harper and Ray. This Hyde asshole is dead meat.

1100m:

Spokane Rehab Nursing Facility is sterile and cold. I've been in these places with mom. I understand how hard it is here. How lonely. I look at a girl not yet twenty with cast on her legs, arms, a face burned and scared. She lost an eye.

Hyde and his minions threw her out a moving car on highway five near Portland. After burning her, tormenting her. She was another child blackmailed into the BDSM nightmare.

"Hyde hates you all, especial Christian, something about him stealing Hyde's life. Something from Detroit. He has two submissive, Elizbeth Morgan, she works at Hyde's publishing house sip. And Marcia she works at grey house with your brother. He planning something about an apple farm to lure Christian into his gun sights." She whispers, afraid and lonely. No one to care about her, help her. Another victim of Elaine Evil Troll Lincoln.

We'll take care of you; help you heal and move on with your life. Ok. I promise." I see she believes me. I give my word. Hell, or high-water shell have a better lie from now on.

"Elliott, Welch sending me a gallery of worker at grey house starting with the top floor." Ray says handing me his cell phone.

"Sylvia, do you see Marcia in this line up." I ask

The pictures float past,

"her." I look at a photo of Andrea, shit!

"her? Are you sure?"

"no, the one before." She sounds tired, I scroll back one. Olivia. I show the screen to my poor brave girl.

"her, she's Marcia. She's the one who pushed me out of the car, even as I begged her not to. I'm tired, so tired." She fades to sleep; the nurse checks her before we go.

Ray's on the phone. "Elliott, Olivia has a cabin above Dryden. Olivia is in Morgans apartment in Seattle. Hyde disappeared about two weeks ago."

"that was fast?"

"once we had names, everything checked out. Olivia was suspected of insider trading; Welch has been keeping tabs on her."

"we go first to Dryden, if Hyde's hiding out it at that cabin, I'll bet, he was planning some sick shit for my grandparents. I plan on making him worse than that little girl in there."

"just the same: I'll have Welch take-down the girls." Harper says

1700pm:

we land above and behind the hill the cabin sits on, I remember last time I was here; noticing the large fish windsock on the roof of the cabin above the orchard. Walking in we find the cabin empty, but lived in, slob Hyde is everywhere about the cabin.

"Elliott a four-wheeler when down the hill an hour or two ago on this path." Ray says

"that leads to the farm." I take off running pell mell down the trail in the fading light. I arrive to the edge of the apple orchard, Ray tackles me. Harper is moving ahead, slowly stalking the orchard, looking for the evil shit.

Ray whispers in my ear. "calm down, let's find the shit. And not get killed doing it. Let Harper and me flush the bird." He says getting off me. We stand and I follow him as quiet as I can thru the trees into the farm buildings.

I notice a shadow pouring gasoline on Great Grandpa Trevelyan's Ten Apple Variety Tree. The ancient tree has grafted ten different heirloom Apple varieties on the trunk. A marvel of skill and passion, mom's grandfather was a horticulturist legend in these parts. I don't see ray or Harper. Screw them and this evil little shit head.

he must have heard me charging, he turned as I leaped into a spear, ramming him across the driveway into the hay barn door. Damm! I carried him close to twenty yards. I throw a right for his head, which isn't there. The door gave way. I see the fire exploding inside. I charge into the burning building after him.

We slug it out till I put him into Whinny's old stall, Mia old horse; died five years ago at the ripe age of forty according to Grandma T. The hayloft collapses on him, I grab his burning hair and drag him outside. Ray and Harper are hosing off the barn as the local fire furthers arrive: the sheriff leans on his hood, smirking at me, last time he smirked at me I did twenty days for speeding.

I dump Hyde as Ray hose me off. I look at him." You were still on fire"

I was on fire, I look about me, yea. Clothe smoldering and my hair is pretty charred. I guess Kate will have to love a chrome dome till it grows back.

"your clear Elliott, Jacob here call me when this shit was dousing the barn and house. Your grandmother going to be pissed he ruined her great grandmother rag quilt. I got here just as you two bulled into the burning barn. You're your grandfather kid for sure, adopt or not." He laughs as a deputy takes the evil shit, dragging him over to the newly arrived EMT.

"Jacob?" I ask.

An old craggy guy maybe older than grandpa t. "your granddad pays me to watch the place when he's gone. I live out near your old tree house. I used to live down the road, before Nam. Now I live in the woods. I got to go, too many people." He turns to the sheriff. "it's OK Uncle Jacob, I'll sent your granddaughter out to help you write the statement." "you're a good boy Lem, good boy." He fades into the darkness.

"my uncle never really came back from Vietnam, lost everything to that cursed war. We'll get you guys down to the office and have you on your way before dawn."

I watch the lights of the Disney hotel come into view, Kate is waiting on the curb for me, I exit the vehicle to her loving arms and lips. I feel dirty and tired, slightly charred broiled. She makes everything disappear to just us, here and now. I see my brother and Anna smiling at us. I pickup my lady and hustle her thru the lobby to our room and our shower. Maybe bed in an hour or two after I get clean, dirty, and clean again. My little lady is purring naughty thoughts into my ear. Life is good, and dam well getting better. One evil down one to go.


	9. Chapter 9 Rhyming Unreason

Fsog chp09 Rhyming Unreason

I watch the world float down into the setting sun behind the distance Andes. Just Anna and me: and four CPO. Jason's bent out of shape to be in Aspen with Gail, Andrea, and Barney, and two body double decoys. The staked goats for the wolfs,

Everyone else is home; kind a? Mom and Dad are in the Hague on a court case. Roz and Gwen are attending the South Asia Economic Conference in Taipan. While Elliot and Kate are Surfing the North Shore, I mean surveying an old house on the North Shore to rebuild: Kate's Paternal Grandmother's 1920 Cottage that termites have eaten to dirty.

Luke and Mia are in Paris: where my nosy little sister is making up her missed French Cooking school assignment's. A remodeling 'her Apartment'. One of my four condos on the top corner above Gaston. Couple of blocks off Square des Batignolles at Rue Brochant and Rue Truffaut. It's within walking distance of the Brochant Metro and the Parc Clichy-Batignolles - Martin Luther King. The reclaimed railyard is particularly lovely in the morning twilight. I love to jog there.

We are falling into wild twilight of the remote Trevelin Valley. The Welsh enclave in the Andes on the eastern banks of the Rio Percy. Where I own a up and coming 2 hectares Vineyard of Semillón. The gold-skinned grape produces a sweet wine, much praised in France. The busted dream of a Microsoft millionaire, bought with his four patents on mesh networks. The house is described as rough and tumbled shanty in a sea of tulips. Trevelin is famous for its tulips, which are about to burst into many-colored bloom.

Roz had a modern cabin installed over the summer to take advantage of the access to Rio Percy, Lake Terraplen. Roz doesn't fish but having a world class fishing lodge in the Patagonia Lake District helps smooth the ruffled feathers of clients and employees who do fish. So, she had a lodge with four outlaying cabins built. They just are completing the structure; one cabin is ready for us.

Anna and I will hide out for a couple of weeks, hoping the crazies will bite on Aspen. I'm hoping particularly Leia, that whack-job is most dangerous of the leftovers. Oliva surrender, Morgan tried to run; hit by a car: She finally did some good in her life, donating seventy percent of her body for people who needed transplants. Carla has surfaced in Ft. Bragg; Welch is calling some favors to get her into prison or nut house. I hope it happens soon.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The dawn rises over the foothills to the east. The soft breeze weaves thru vibrant colored tulips blooms as they open to the new day. I turn back from the natural beauty outside: To the natural beauty in my bed. Partial cover by a sheet, her exposed curvy back bleed into soft curvy outline under the sheet What wonderous treasure lay underneath. Remembrances of last night passion. My wife! Everyone was shocked when we showed the papers and video of our vows in the Fairyland garden next to the Castle.

I leave my lady to get an hour or two of fly fishing on the edge of the property in the Rio Percy. Anna has a two-hour spa of mani-pedi, facial, waxing; chick stuff. Then a lazy breakfast and rafting down the Rio into town. The Vineyard staff and CPO know us as Senior Cristóbal Mar de Guitarrista & Anna de el Bosque de Guitarrista. An eloped songwriting couple on hidden honeymoon from vengeful parents, upset over our nuptials.

Anna last night was a goddess selling our story. I played piano as Anna sang, the staff was hovering just beyond the sheep gate (fence around house to keep sheep from eating the ornamental flower around a house); clapping and commenting how great we are. Anna talked loudly about cutting a demo tape or raw album of songs we will write here. If everyone keeps it secret: we are here. The mad parents will destroy our love and songs. Or so we con the locals.

I walk out the cabin to brightening day and two men in fishing garbs. Pablo my fishing guide and Viticultores of my vineyard, he doesn't know that I'm the boss. He thinks we are just close friends of Roz and Gwen. Important friends of the boss. The second is my CPO Eduardo, who does know who we really are. The Ex Comisario Mayor of AGrupo Especial de Operaciones Federales and head of the UN. Argentina mission & Embassy security.

I figure eight perfectly(fly fishing term) to the delight of both, a land my fly right in front of a nice trout. Pablo is happy! I can fish and not be an amateur whining about equipment or guide. We keep only two big brutes for dinner tonight.

Maria the cook will prep everything for Anna and I to finish. Anna was adamant that we will cook most of our dinners together; loudly tell me that She's not repeating her step-sister Kate's mistakes with her idiot husbands Elliot. That she loves to cook, and I am not going to be some useless non-cooking male. "Christopher! You will learn if for no other reason; then to cook for your children."

I laugh at her forceful demands on my piss-poor culinary skills. Maria was talking up a storm in Spanish to Anna, which I can understand, about training husbands early out of their mother's bad habits of waiting on them hand and foot. She has four sons; each can cook, do laundry, and knows how to put the seat down. She cracks her knuckles at her husband, the senior vineyard worker; he smiles. I can see the fear in his eyes of his wife, also the deep love.

Walking back, I stop, drop the equipment, fish, everything! On the porch in a breezes dress, pony-tailed woman stands. Goddess of lore, the most perfect female on earth: Smiling at me. **AT ME!** I move I don't know how, taking her in my arms, lips to lips. Making the world shrink to us, just us here, and now. The world be dammed, I pick her up and carry her to bed.

Meanwhile outside the cabin:

Eduardo: "Well Pablo, that solves that."

Pablo picking up the fish and gear: "Solves what?"

Eduardo: "Kids only act like that on their honeymoon."

Pablo: "They are defiantly hiding from something."

Eduardo: "what?"

Pablo: "Names like that got to be faked. Guitarist of the Sea. Annie of the woods. Come on man?"

Patricio: "Cousin? Your so right and so wrong" Maria youngest son walks up.

Eduardo: "what?"

Patricio: "Well Chris is Christopher Seawright, analyst at GEH NY; MBA, WHARTON, Harvard with a minor BA in classical guitar from Seville; exclaimed part time studio musician out of NY. Annie is Annie Reeve of Mountain Home AFB in Idaho: Daddy's an ex-Air Force colonel, ex-Consular officer, Teaching diplomacy at Boise State. She just finished a BA in Music History with a minor in songwriting from New England Conservatory of Music in Boston, MA. She is a rising star in New York's Balladeer & Bird Music Company; number one songwriting company in the US. Rumored to have eloped to Switzerland. The parents are both against it. Seems the songbirds weren't meant to be. Chris was supposed to be going into Corporate Law and Annie was supposed to start a State Department training program for diplomats."

Pablo: "Ok the Families are living way too much thru these kids. I remember my mother wanting me to be a medical Doctor, Even signed me up as pre-med my freshman year at University. These kids are smart to skip and hide till the heats off."

Eduardo: Ok Welch as spun some good BS to hide Grey and wife. I can understand with the threat assessment. It's good cover. Now to do my BUllSh# t.

"Well, Chris is one of Roz Bailey's protégé and Annie is cousin by marriage to Gwen; Roz's wife. Annie's dad: The Ambassador is throwing government weight around and Chris's dad in a hot shot corporate lawyer on his third trophy wife, who's just two years older than Chris. Roz and Gwen want them sane and happy and safe here while the families cool down and accept that Chris is going to stay at GEH NY, work part time studio musician with Anna writing and teaching music. Raise a family in peace, out of the limelight neither want. Besides this is practice for when the VIP come down here to fish and hold private conferences. **Shit! You didn't hear the last part! Either of you!"** I growl at them.

Pablo: "Ok, didn't hear a thing, though it does explain the Main house rebuild, the new large meeting room, Cabins and expanded security."

Patricio: "I'm gone five minutes ago. Didn't hear anything, don't want to know anything. Just want to get to University of Florida next year, play a little football(soccer), chase a lot of bikini clad girls. I know nothing, see nothing, say nothing that will keep me here. BYE!" as he scampers away. I have to laugh at the football obsessed boy dreams of playing for Real Madrid.

Eduardo: "Going to be a problem Pablo?"

Pablo: "no, no problems. Grapes are coming along nicely; the capital is stable and better for the next three years. Patricio Sr. is happy at the double use of the property to starve off having to let guys go during the low parts of the season. Roz talked about expanding the remote Acres down the road to a bed and breakfast model to help offset the new Tschaggle variety of Trollinger grapes going in there. The new grapes will be the first in South America. I have high hopes for good wines."

Eduardo: He says like a kid at Christmas. His world is bright under the GEH banner. I hope the subterfuge will not damage them when Grey's unveiled. I head back and check the security, so far everything is going good.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

In the cabin. Near dusk

The rafting will have to be tomorrow, as I lay exhausted next to my wife. I thought my stamina was good. When I saw her in that dress, on that porch. Everything in the world became perfect. I carried my wife to bed

Striping us of cloths, of anything to interfere in my lips possessing her, down her breast, as she screams my name in orgasm. My wicked tongue in her bellybutton, the hands grabbing my hair, pushing me lower, lower into her need. Her aroma pulls me into her sex. The tongue licks and twist in the need to drive her higher, deeper into bliss.

Her legs lock painful on my head, begging, demanding I lick, taste deeper into her. I grasp her thighs and move her to the edge, nearly upside down I ravage her. I feel the world tilt as her hot mouth takes me in. the world spins into colors and sensations.

We land in the bed; shadow tell us mid-day has come to be. I look at my wife with my dried seed on the corner of her mouth, goof smile on her lips. I roll to her, touching and tasting myself on her lips. As we explode into each other again.

The rafting will have to be tomorrow, as I lay exhausted next to my wife. As the marathon lovemaking has wasted the day. I let our world just be us. I hear Maria in the kitchen, Food smells waffle to us. I struggle to get up and piss. Moving with torn, sore muscles and tender steps. "quieter Chris, you're walking to loud" whispers my wife. I can't help myself. **"Stomp"** "quiet enough?" I laugh

To sore and slow to evade the pillow thrown to my face. She sneaks by me to claim the bathroom first. Must have the next cabin master bedroom fitted with two toilets.

I hear the shower; I go in piss and join my wife in the warm water. We are both too sore and exhausted to play. I just take her in my arms, tilt her head: kissing her swollen lips. Letting the water turn tepid.

We wander starving into the kitchen to find Maria has left us an excellent trout dinner in the oven. We eat and touch without words. I slowly take my lady, wearing only my camp shirt out our porch and dance to the romantic hits of the sixties. "Must kill Elliot and Kate for switching out my Music".

"Hush lover, With each day comes a new way of loving you

Every time I kiss your lips my mind starts to wander

And if all my dreams come true

I'll be spending time with you

Oh, I love you more today than yesterday

But not as much as tomorrow

I love you more today than yesterday

But, darling, not as much as tomorrow

**:: I Love You More Today Than Yesterday By Spiral Staircase**

She sings to the music filling the star filled night. Just the two of us. Just like it was always meant to be. like it better be for the rest of our lives. A Seattle movie I think, I forget which one, one of Mia probably. burst out the speakers. The Big screen shows Liam Payne and Rita Ora **FSOG For You:** echoes in the still shadows across the vineyard into Patagonia star studded night. I watch a shooting star; wishing forever to be in her arms, her love. "Forever my love" Anna whispers into my ear. "Forever and a day. I will love you" I whisper back


	10. CHP10 Carrick secret

FSOG CHP10 Carrick secret

note: Italic is flashbacks scene

note : underline is real place, people or things or someone else words.

I head into my house, bone weary and tired from the long plane ride from the Hague. Grace was called home; surgery on a two-year-old with Leukemia, a surgery she pioneered had to be advance two-week early. The little girl developed a reaction to the chemo drugs.

I made sure Gracie slept on the long flight. I'm irritable over the last two weeks of legal argument on what constitutes slavery in the modern age and the lack of action in Aspen. John Thomas my CPO is getting the luggage. I head into my office to begin a teleconference with my co-counsel on one of the eight cases before the World Court.

I just put my briefcase down. Start to unbutton my Trench overcoats. "CACKLE!" What the f##$k was that!

I turn to Leia holding a gun on me; laughing like an asthmatic witch. I see a topless Gretchen, our housekeeper, with blood on her legs. I know Thomas is down. I stare at the two evil women before me. I know what I must do to save my family. I tremble as the weight lifted from my body. Clears my mind. I must revert to my true inner self; Everyone think's me Marlow. Little do they know the real man standing before them. Everyone is shocked, horrified when HE steps forward into the light. I am not so much a fully realized individual as a series of images constructed by others for their own use; lawyer, father, husband, friend, pillar of the community, renaissance man. My true self; the man I see in the mirror every morning, is the monster of their nightmares.

"Stop, don't move or else!" Screams Leia.

I take my overcoat off laying it on a chair. I remove my suit coat, laying it over the chair as well. I start to take off my dress shirt. "Stop, don't move or else!" Screams Leia. I smirk at her. She needs me to lure Grace and ultimately Christian into her clutches. Sacrificial lambs to the slaughter she wants; she doesn't understand yet what she as seized; what is before her, if she did, she would have shot me in the back and finished me with a coup de grace. I smile at her stupide.

"Greta get the toys for my father-in-law" Leia says like I should be humble, honored even, to be torture and killed by her. Greta leaves the room, I must hurry. I remove my dress shirt putting it over the coats. Turn to my desk and remove my watch, med-alert bracelet, and wedding ring. The ring of my vows to love, honor, a try to be a better man than I am. "Daughter-in-law?"

"Yes! Madam, may she rest in peace married us; while we drove to Her Utah ranch." Leia pipes happily; very delusional if she thinks that legal or real. I move to the book shelf near the picture of the Grey heraldry, my family tree. If they knew the true nature of the men whose names stand above mine, they would run for their lives. I turn to the high shelf; these books are the bastions of my past; my present; bars of the cage, the cage holding me, the monster.

"Elena married you, did Christian say 'I DO!'" I ask. Staring at five old ornated custom leather cover, locked hardcover books of my misspent youth in law. SUPREME COURT (SCOTUS) SOP and Decorum, signed by the Chief Justice the first day I spoke before them: Department of Justice (DOJ) SOP and Procedures, signed by four Attorney Generals of the United States of America; U.S. Army Judge Advocate General's Corps (JAG) SOP and Decorum signed and presented to me on my commissioning into the Army by General Thurmond, JAG commanding general; Uniform Code of Military Justice (UCMJ) volume I & II. These old books inside their ornated custom leather cover with locks. A gift from an old friend into leathercraft.

I take the UCMJ volume II down, check the tattletale is still there. I unlock the book, keeping an eye on Leia. "SO? You've been hiding out under our nose here?" I flip to a page: I dreaded for years to reread. I prayed every night to never gaze on this page; read this page again; understand the abyss I leap gleefully into, again.

I stare at the word, this simple word breaking of my wedding vows, turning me into hypocrite to the ideas and moral code I taught my children. I stare at the one word: I wrote thirty-three years ago, the day I married Grace; here in this crucible I have built my castle on sand. I caress the tool; I thought I'd never need again. My world crumbles as the sand runs away, I feel a tear run down my face. Now is the time to pay the ferryman his coins.

"Yes! Carrick I've been sleeping in my husband submissive's room upstairs. I find Christian bed very uncomfortable. Your bed was very comfortable, but at last now unusable. Edward Posadas, your associate lawyer at your firm has bled and fouled it during our play." "CACKLE!" Leia giggles at some inner joke. She sounds like nails on slate, grating and inhuman.

"Greta my prodigy; she got a little out of hand with the knife play. As I was Madam's, may she rest in peace; All student makes mistakes." Leia seems to take herself serious between giggles.

I see Greta return with shackle, strapons and a large bloody knife. Now is the moment of dread: The last moment of my humanity, the last breath I take as Carrick Grey civilized man. I shut my civilized mind to release the animal cage within. I can see in my mind's eye the cage buckle and break as I spring forth into darkness; dark evil emotions surge into my heart. My heart of darkness.

"SO? Torture and rape till Grace get home. I take it that Thomas is dead?"

"Yes, Carrick! I garroted him in the kitchen. Very unsuspecting since I gave him a blow job last time. Now lose the book. It's party time!" Gretchen takes a step forward. Stroking the bloody knife with her tongue

"Toss the book at the window." Leia screams waving the gun around.

I toss the book, end over end straight up in the air. They both look at the decoy. Leia looks back at me. The last thing she ever thought she would see in my hand. Her death! The BDA-9C Compact Hi-Power Browning Double Action Model Browning flares as Leia head turns to mush from the 9mm parabellum 147 Grain Hydra-Shok JHP bullet. The short only 6.8 inches 9mm pistol has been in this book since my Army JAG days. I look at Gretchen frozen with the knife in her hand, frozen on her tongue. I smile at her. She smiles back thinking I'll take her prisoner.

Evil in my soul wells up to squeeze the trigger, put the rabid beast down. I fire again; the smile is gone as is most of her head. Eight feet with this round is very destructive. "Kurtz. I am Kurtz" I unload the pistol, jack the round out of the chamber, leave it all on my desk. I open my briefcase, taking my phone, and walk away. In the kitchen, I find Thomas dead; pants around his ankle. Stupid! I hit the gate switch and lock it open. Stepping out into the dark night, cloudy with rain on the air. I hope it rains, to wash away the pain of having failed my family again. I have lost my world, family, everything I hold dear. How do I re-cage the monster coursing thru my veins. The monster that longs to rampage thru the night.

"Hello Police. My name is Carrick Grey. I just killed two intruders in my house. ##### Lake Drive Moorland section, Bellevue. They Killed my CPO John Thomas and a law associate. Send Coroner, Crime Scene and notify Captain Morehouse." I hang up; dial Welch

"Welch. Thomas is dead. Leia was hiding at Grey Manor the whole time; Gretchen was her Prodigy. Seems Edward Posadas from my Firm was her submissive. He's dead to. They are both dead. I shot them. Yes, I own a gun. I know Grace's position better than you do. I'm waiting for the police to arrive. Notify the kids it's safe to come home. Bye!"

I sit down and wait. The PTSD kicks in. The one word on that page, it hurts me beyond any physical trauma; Kurtz. The old memories haunt me. The time before; When I reveled in the fight, addicted to the pain, the fight, the pure adoration of violence. The sadistic pleasure coursing thru me to kill, maim, hurt others. I don't want to be Kurtz anymore; not after knowing what the other side of the coin is. the pure pleasure of a soulmate, children, family that is loving and cares about me, for me. I don't want to be the monster I know I am. I don't want to be my father or grandfather. I just wanted my family to be safe, even from me.

_Three Drunk college guys attacking me, when I was fourteen sleeping on the street, hiding from my father rage. The Rambo knife flashing at my face. His look of disbelieve as he bled out. If nothing else my father has taught me how to fight. I look at the knife handle sticking out under his jaw, obscene and gruesome. The judge and cops called it self-defense. The psychologist was the first to call me__ Kurtz__. __Kurtz: not so much a fully realized individual as a series of images constructed by others for their own use. __The brilliant straight A student, player of violin and cello, who killed an armed attacker barehanded with a copy of __Plutarch of Chaeronea: Moralia include pseudepigrapha__ in his back pocket._

_The Biker at Sturgis with the twelve-year-old sex slave; naked, bloodied and bruised chained to his bike. His whimpers in the dirt, as the last feeling he will ever have below his neck fade. I crushed three vertebras in the cervical spine, brutal and with malice. Wrapping the girl in my sleeping bag, I drove away to find a cop. A good omen in hindsight: The judge talked me: a nineteen-year-old kid, a second-year law student, into joining the __U.S. Army Judge Advocate General's Corps (JAG)__ as a __reservist. _

_Jogging outside the __dragon hill__ with General Ruses. The __Yongsan Garrison is roughly two-thirds the size of New York's Central Park. __The General likes to jog the perimeter with junior officer every other day during his Physical Training (PT) run. The __Yongsan District of central Seoul, South Korea__ is beautiful in the early spring, winter has fled and the air is bright with tree leafing and soon budding. We near the south gate, when three __North Korea infiltrator's__ attack us. The General's two CPO take two. _

_The other three lieutenants run away. I take the Third one down, watching his life disappear with the odd angle of his head, the last whimper of breath expelled as brain dies slow with horror. I smile at his end._

"_Grey. Son? I would never have believed an uptight control freak lawyer could be so savage. You got off inflicted pain and death. You need __Mental Hygiene. __You need help, son!" General Ruses says. I look at the Two CPO, neither of their guys are breathing; one attacker damm near has his head removed with a __tactical Bowie knife. __Why am I signaled out as too savage? I know as __Kurtz__ smiles at the General, who stutter back a step._

_Dark night, near two A.M.: I am escorting a temperamental kids Doctor, I just met at a conference on Anti-Slavery and Sex Trafficking here in New York City. We're walking back from a late-night dinner at __Scallywag's Irish Pub. __Hoping the perfect evening will end in my room in __Midtown Convention Center Hotel__. I hope. The perfect evening destroyed by a mugger. The look on his face when I broke several bones in just a few seconds. The look of horror on her face. I'd blow my one chance with this goddess who sparks me like no other. She is my soulmate; lost to me because I couldn't hide __Kurtz__ well enough. Why didn't I just give him my wallet. _

_Later in bed she talks to me about my pleasure in hurting people. "Grace, I don't like hurting people. I truly don't" I beg her. She helps me grow and control the dark side of my nature; to bury __Kurtz__. End the legacy of my abusive father. or so I thought for decades._

_I look at my kids frolicking in the surf of __75 Mile Beach, Fraser Island, Fraser Coast Area Queensland Australia. __The woman of my dreams is tossing buckets of water on them. Soon Christian will hit puberty and these days will just be memories. His touch issues will collide into his budding sexuality. I can remember my days like that, before my father destroyed my innocent; made me __Kurtz__. Elliott puberty was bad enough; he's already reaching player status, headed to man-whore. Mia is laughing as Christian splash her. I raise and join them. Laughing and happy at this moment of time. _

_I scream and punch and kick the wall, lying in the hallway of Escala penthouse; my sons penthouse! The emotions well up from the depth of my soul. Overwhelms me! All I can do is cry and rage. Where did I go wrong that he turned to this? That room, lifestyle is everything I abhor. Why Christian? What did I do to drive you into being me? The monster. How did I spawn another __Kurtz__? How did I become my father? FAILURE! FAILURE! I'M JUST LIKE MY FATHER! WORTHLESS AND EVIL!_

I watch the patrol cars flood in. I wait; the condemned man. If the Cops don't flay me, or the DA. I guarantee Grace will for having a gun in the house, loaded for decades under her nose. Breaking my vows to her. I replay the fight with Leia and Gretchen; nothing I could have done different and still minimized the danger to my children. I look at my hands, not a shake or tremor. Rock solid, no guilt or shame. They were both armed with evil in their hearts. They just made the fatal mistake of meeting someone with a Darker Heart. Kurtz smiles into the flashing lights. Can I ever be free of him?

"Mister Grey? We would like to enter the house? Captain Morehouse ordered us to get permission." A senior Police sergeant asks.

"Yes. You may enter. My CPO John Thomas is dead in the kitchen, the two intruders Leia Williams and Gretchen Löfven are dead in my office, left door off the great room. Another victim Edward Posadas is in the master bedroom, top of the stairs far room on the left. My gun is on my desk in the office, unloaded and magazine out.

I stand an sit in the patrol car. I sleep for the first time in hours. Peaceful dreams of my children, my lost sister somewhere out there in the world. I dream my wife will forgive me and make Kurtz go away. Peaceful sleep.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Grace-pov

I finish the ten-hour grueling marrow transplant and liver transplant on the precious little angel. It when perfect. I look at Christian and Anna as I walk out of post-op; time clock says I've been at it for sixteen hours straight. How did they get here from Argentina so fast? They don't look happy. What now? And where is Cary?

"Christian?" I ask afraid of what news they have. Where is Cary?

"Dad's in jail waiting Police determination on killing Leia and Gretchen. They killed Thomas and one of Dad's law associates. Leia was hiding in Grey Manor the whole time we were gone. Gretchen was one of Elaina students. They planned on torturing you both till I showed up."

"Well they are dead. We are not. What are you doing to get your father out of jail?" work the problem not the emotions.

"Our lawyers and his partners are working on it. Did you know dad had a gun in his home office?"

"WHAT! He promised no guns, no guns anymore. That man has some explaining to do. Where did that asshole keep it?" I cleaned that office, been in the safe?  
"In one of his old leather covered locked hardcover books: Uniform Code of Military Justice (UCMJ) volume II. Which doesn't exist. The leather cover held a first edition of Conrad's Heart of Darkness: Most of the book glued together to hide the pistol. The only page no glued was with (Marlow)"Soul! If anybody had ever struggled with a soul, I am the man" and (Kurtz)"Being along in the wilderness,...had looked into itself, and by heavens! I tell you, it had gone mad. I had-for my sins, I suppose-to go through the ordeal of looking into it myself" underlined and 'Kurtz' in large script."

I turn to the window down the hall. I walk to it, looking out into the breaking Seattle dawn. My anger and pain gone. My husband needs me to heal him again. To cage the beast. Can I cage Kurtz, separate him from Cary again? I understand he must have realized his death and mine. To have unleashed the monster within himself. I stare at the reflection in the glass. Tears fall down my cheek. I wipe them away.

"Christian first we get our father out of jail. Then we get him sane, back to the loving man he truly is. Then he and I will discuss the gun in my house" I take Anna arm to hold me up and steady as we leave the hospital. The press screams and camera flash in a blinding haze.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

Paris: Mia-pov

I just finish redecorating our apartment. The soft colors and light furniture are heavenly in the city of lights. Luke balked at first, telling me it was Christian apartment. "Luke it is my apartment, now 'OUR' apartment. Get used to it. We are going to live here. PERIOD!"

"MIA?" Luke whines. He's forced to accepted us calling it our apartment. A few knees to the jewels convinced him to my point of view. My G.I. Joe is stubborn; He's learning I'm more stubborn.

The last cooking assignment done. We are free till I convince Christian and Dad to back a Café down the street on Square des Batignolles. My business plan got A+ from my business professor and Roz. But that is next week; this week and weekend is just two young people, horny and in love loose in Provence France. Jeunes amoureux à la découverte (young lovers on discovery). We have the weekend ahead to party at a music Festival Les Escales on the Atlantic coast south of us in St. Nazaire. Dancing with my hot man, 'Ooh la la;' gone get my freak on.

Luke walks in introspective. "Leia is dead. Gretchen your housekeeper was one of her minions; she's dead to. John Thomas is dead. Did you know your father owned a gun?"

"Yes, the one in his office, inside the UCMJ volume two leather covered Conrad book."

"What? How long have you known?" Luke looks at me incredulous.

"When I was fourteen. I was helping grandma clean out her attic for a white elephant sale at her church. I found an old military footlocker with 'Captain C. Grey JAG' on the lid. The lock had the key busted off in it and those metal packing bands encased the thing. Grandma and Grandpa refused to tell me anything, 'that I should let old dogs lay.' That just set me on fire to find out; a research dad, finding a wealth of information; like dad as a lawyer in the Army. Did you know?"

"Yes, it was in my briefing paper. I don't understand where you're going?" Luke looks confused.

"Well let's start at the beginning. Dad's father and Grandfather makes Anna's #3 look like a virginal altar boy cub scout. He beat, abused, and assault his wife and children while hiding behind his brilliant legal mind, he was a renowned lawyer and lecturer on the law. When Dad was sixteen; Granddaddy Grey did one year for beating Dad and his mother so bad they had to hospitalized. Dad was in a coma for more than a month; Grandma Grey never fully recovered. She died when I was ten, never being more than a catatonic abused wife in a nursing home. Every year till she died Dad visited her every year, right before Christmas. We never knew the real reason for his holiday business weekend to Ohio. Did your briefing paper mention Dad has killed and maimed people?"

"NO?" Luke sits down next to me. Stunned at Grey family secrets.

"Fifteen-year-old dad was hiding on the street from evil Grandad Grey. Some drunk skinhead college kids jumped him. One attacked dad with a knife; dad killed him. In Korea; dad saved a General from North Korea terrorists, killing one with his bare hands. He saved a young girl being trafficked by an outlaw biker in Sturgis, left him paralyzed from the neck down. A mugger in New York, several other have felt my father temper."

"Didn't know that; I don't understand why that wasn't in the papers?"

"Dad's very shut off about his childhood, with a father and Grandfather like that; it's a wonder dad is as stable and good as he is. I mean. He graduated law school, had already passed the bar two month earlier, commissioned into the Army as a lieutenant on his twenty first birthday. Dad was one of the youngest lawyers to go before the Supreme Court at twenty-one. He is awesome." I preen about my daddy; I'm such a father's girl.

"Well that explains the gun."

"Not quite; Evil granddad and Great-Granddad were gun nuts, won multiple shooting titles. Dad was Junior National Pistol Champion for three of five years. He won the Camp Perry National twice in the Army. The second time he swept the event: The newspaper headline was '1st Lieutenant C. Grey Hat Tricks the Pistol Competition.'

When I opened his locker in Grandma T attic. I found pictures and broken trophy tops with name plates. Dad had to leave that all behind when he married mom. I was checking dad office when I found a copy of Conrad's Heart of Darkness and Apocalypse Now Scene-by-Scene by Ebert hidden behind his law books. They were heavily underlined with notes. Dad caught me and locked them in a file cabinet. I checked his leather covered books and discovered UCMJ vol 2 doesn't exist. I smelled it a discovered gun oil smell. So, Dad had to have a gun in there. I just suspect it was Conrad."

"why didn't you tell your mom about it"

"Because it was none of her business. Dad secrets are dad's secret." I huff

"Will you? Are you hiding secrets from me?" Luke asks.

"Of Course, silly! I'm a woman, mysterious and evil. Femme Fatal; come into my parlor unsuspecting ex-Army officer" I sassy reply the truth to my poor man, making like a B-movie Mata Hara. I drag him over and kiss him. A girl got to have some advantage over one's caveman boyfriend.

Fifteen minutes later:

"I'll book a flight to Seattle, most likely tomorrow afternoon." Luke says, putting his shirt on. I'm still holding his pants and underwear hostage.

"Why?"

"Don't you want to go home? For your Dad?"

"No, Mom has this battle alone. She doesn't need us kids getting in the way. So, unless we're summoned. We're staying here. Overdressed sex toy!" I giggle at his expressions.

Tossing the shirt, he picks me up and carries me into our bedroom. I have nothing tomorrow or the next day; before we must decide on St. Nazaire.

Kissing his lips, I put the parent's strife out of my head, we've lived too much this year in pain. I let the world devolve to just us, in our bed, in our Paris apartment. I focus on making him the happiest sex exhausted man on the planet. Locking my legs around him. "I love you."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Elliott-pov Hawaii North Shore

I look out on to the south end of Laniakea Beach. Kate's Grandmother cottage on Papailoa Rd is finally gone, the wreckage of termites was total. The site cleared to begin rebuilding. The building plans approved; construction begins tomorrow. I've got an Airstream parked on the grass and utilities hooked-up. We are staying for two months. Clint has my mainland company humming with three new projects once the current one finish. My crews have work for the next year, maybe two.

Nude, sexed out Blondie is soaking up sleep in the covered hammock. The new house which is Kate's wedding present from her dad. Is going to be a two-level green organic house fitting into the new landscape and location. Very termite resistant. I may take us down the Kamehameha Highway to Haleʻiwa Beach House for dinner. Maybe stop at the Surf N Sea to check out new boards. We both need the down time from the family's drama.

I walk to my chair under the palms to watch my sleeping princess. Watching her bring me such peace. The talk with William our CPO was disturbing. Dad with a gun, killing those evil shits. Dad with a gun? Christian said mom freaked out when told about it. Dad has some secrets, Mia told me to not call and don't go home. Mom has dad in hand, let them work it out.

Christian told me the same thing: Anna and Him are going to New York for business. They plan to be there thru the first. We're supposed to be in Seattle on the fifteen of next month. I have walk thru with my father-in-law to be and dinner with the in-laws in force at their Forest Beach compound.

I take a beer out of the cooler and sip it, watching the building waves. Tomorrow the surf should be good. Tonight; the airbed under the free-standing awning, clear starry Hawaii night. The light breeze will cuddle my coed deep into my arms. I watch a frigate bird sail by, headed out to sea. The foaming crest break and swarm up the sand. This will be a great place to bring our kids to surf, teach to be human and part of this wonderful world.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Chemins Bonne Vue rd., Pointe-Alexandre: Lameque Island, New Brunswick, Canada

I watch the lights Pointe Brulee and Pokesudie across the water. My house is lonely since husband three pasted away. I've been very unlucky in love. The first one was no great loss. The rich old pervert with a wife fifty years his junior. I did and would do anything to escape my family. Husband two was calm and gallant, a man out of time. The soldier scholar writing books about past glories of the Empire. I miss him deeply at times. He promoted me to write, encouraged me to publish. Now as my hundredth blouse tearing latest hit Amazon; I miss his courage.

My last husband like my second succumbed to cancer. I lost both breast to the scourge. In god's mercy they when fast. Now I stand in my house in the Maritimes sipping my bitter French dark roast looking out at the far lights. I wonder if I can face the man I wronged, abandon all those years ago. I wish I could have taken him with me. I wish I could have been a better person and saved him from the monsters.

The computer beeps, I glance at the screen. A Seattle news alert. Carrick is out of jail. I wonder if I have the courage to face him. After all these years, will he kill me or love me?

xxxxxxx

"buzz!" "buzz!" "buzz!" "buzz!" the phone wakes me from the easy chair in front of the picture window. Dawn is lightening the choppy sea.

"Hello?"

"Hey beautiful, rise and shine the day is new and you're in bed grumpy, frumpy and old." Sing my son, the adopted son of my second husband.

"Well, bail or loan shark?"

"Neither, I got a Job in the City (New York)"

"bar tender or waitress?"

"Very funny MOM! No, a real job on Wall ST. at a merger's company. Your taking to the newest Personal Assistant number three of the Company East Coast Operation Manager. Humble supplication if you please? Peon writer."

"Two months then you'll be back bar tending in the Hampton, at that dive campy beach bar." I tease back.

"Nay old witch. We have sold half the place to the boss, getting this job till the hotel/restaurant east coast manger jobs opens in three months. Putting my MBA from Wharton into good use. Are you coming this weekend for the book fair?"

"Yes, so have that pig sty you call my Apartment cleaned and aired out, no skanks hiding in the closets or your homeless, got it Satyr."

"Pemphredo, hark not curse my misspent youth, for I must shoulder the boulder of adulthood up the slope of your unbending unreasonable expectations of my future. I must use my cunning to finish what Sisyphus could not. Escape your evil clutches."

"I curse you not good son, you have a job, after the cost, worry and toil to educate a son more rock than brain; more satyr than altar boy. Hark good son why have you broken the dawn with this blether?"

"Well the big boss is flying in, I'm in a limo headed to Essex County Airport. I'm Shepherding them around the city. They have a penthouse across the street from My apartment. Your book depository with beds. Ah? The airport got to go, see you at the fair. Your signing your new book on dark Victorian authors."

"Yes, my secret alter-identity author Martha Mary Singvogel. The serious dull nonfiction literaturist; not the sex obsessed Victoria Ausbrecher, bestselling romance author of the decade. I hear she just published her one hundredth blouse tearing fantasy. Bye love you C. be careful." The line goes dead. My way wander son. I miss him since his father pasted last year. I get up to make some coffee, I stare out the window, the reflection of myself stares at me. Martha Mary Singvogel, Victoria Ausbrecher, Cassiopeia Thistle, or the name I born with? I haven't said it out-loud in decades. Can I ever be simply Miina again? a sick joke my father named me, Miina; Desiring Protector. I couldn't take the family so I found a rich old pervert to marry and escape him. I had to leave my only friend, my little brother. I look out the window, sipping my coffee. "Miina Isolde Grey" I tremble at those lost words.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

1\. Marlow: Heart of Darkness Conrad

2\. Kurtz: Heart of Darkness Conrad

3\. Pemphredo (one of the "Graeae" or Stygian Witches of Greek mythology)

4\. Sisyphus, in Greek mythology, the cunning king of Corinth who was punished in Hades by having repeatedly to roll a huge stone up a hill only to have it roll down again as soon as he had brought it to the summit.

5\. Miina: Desiring Protector

6\. Isolde, Old Irish name for an ill-fated Irish princess


	11. chp11 rain rain please stay

Fsog chp11 rain rain please stay.

We cruise into NY city in a stretch limo. Not our usually Audi SUV. The local PA Max, head of East Coast operations, sent to pick us up and escort us around is C.G. Thistle; nice kid with a devil may care attitude. Taylor tells me he's doing PA duty till McHenry retires end of next month from Hotel/Restaurant East Coast Department Manger position. The kid is Wharton and has been successful running hotels and clubs in New England since he was teenager. He has sunk my sex filled weekend in the penthouse, by mentioning a book fair this weekend. Seems his mother in a Non-Fiction author on English and Classical literature and will be signing her latest book. Anna's stoked to go. And I can't deny my lady anything. She looks like Mia when I gave her tickets to Fashion week here for her fifteen birthdays. Bright eyes drool about the things to see and people to meet. At least my lady is interest in books and not cloths.

I watch the city come into view, thinking about the war in Seattle between my parents. Did I do the right thing leaving them alone. I know the Grands and Flynn are refereeing the duo. But it's my fault Dad had to use that gun. It's my fault for everything. **"OUCH"**

"Chris if you go there again, I will drop down right here and punch your balls till your useless for the decade. You are not at fault. Those crazies are. Period!" Anna whispers in my ear after biting it.

I look into her eyes a see the world is bright. Dad made his bed, I'm glad about it; I won't have liked him or mom to have been killed or hurt, especial because of my fu##Kup past. a Mom made her's bed in the rules she should have known Dad would never abide by. He takes the family safety to extreme; just like me. They just have to work out the new reality. I was shocked when Mia explained dad history with guns and violence. I know he feels he let me down, no being cuddlier and more open to Elliott and me.

The sky line brighten as the morning haze lift. The glorious sun beam on the towers, the sparkly dawn as only New York can make. Dad is dad and with all the plus a minus is still my father. Still the man I hope to emulate. I hold Anna's hand a let the peace she brings to me, settle my woes.

We first escaped to Aspen picking up Gail. Now the four of us head into New York City proper. I imagine my lady in our penthouse looking down on Central Park. The dawn over the bridges to herald a new day. A day I now look forward to each morning. My naked wife in my arms. I drool a little. Thinking about the high-end lingerie stores in town. Sexy teddies and merry widows light my fire when she wears them. Visions of kink dance in my head.

Anna laughter pulls me back to the present. Thistle is smirking at my wife. I feel the anger rise up, shifting into the punch his face in mode. A mop of brown hair encompasses my face as sweet candy apple flavored lips seal my snarl into oblivion. I mellow into my ladies' sweet embrace. Whisper words echo in my ear as evil tongue tease my lope. "Chill he's married"

I have to remember my lady's, my best defense against myself. I laugh at my green monster. "SO? What was so funny?"

"C.G. was telling me about last year's book fair, when his mother decked the book critic for the New York Times over calling her a tramp for losing another husband. C.G. was telling me how much he and his mother loved his late step-father. How he had to carry his curse spitting mother out of the reception. Shocked that his regal mannered mother would know let alone use those words."

"I was shocked, I was never allowed to curse growing up. Not even Heck! Here's my mother, who I've never heard say a bad word, and has to have the editors write them in her stories. Cursing like a New Jersey longshoreman. My mother's whole peer group was shock speechless for hours. Hours I tell you!" C.G. Thistle laughingly recounts the story he just told Anna. Making me feel worse that I let my insecure and jealousy rise up.

We pull into GEH New York. We have about four hours of meeting and briefings to endure before we head to the penthouse and then an early Broadway show. C.G. has got tickets for THE MERCHANT OF VENICE. We have a late dinner at the penthouse and a glorious free day tomorrow. Next weekend, we're going out to the Hamptons, a derelict horse farm is ours since the idiot Hedge Fund company defaulted on his contract and bills. We're undecided; keep the horse bullshit or convert it into something better. C.G. thinks an organic farm and retreat is a better use of the property. He lived out there for the last year.

I'm liking him a lot more. His wife, of three weeks is a noted artist and CPA down in GEH NY accounting. He confessed he hasn't told his mother yet; those fireworks are for this weekend. I'm surprised he lives across the street. His wife joins us for lunch. Star Penelope Thistle is a mirror of Anna with reddish auburn hair and five inches in height. Quiet demurred bookworms in kickass model bodies. Perfect union of beauty and brains. The two instantly bond. They both have had family trouble and strife. Both have found the man of their dreams. Both take no shit from their husbands. We poor males are boned for sure. For sure!

C.G., Taylor, and I head out at dawn to run the Central Park Reservoir circuit. Maybe with Anna and Star at the book fair; us guys can escape to some offshore fishing. I feel strangle connect to him. Almost like he's a bother or something. But put it out of my mind. It' just these human emotions Anna as forced me to have and enjoy. At least the people in Trevelin Valley are not too miffed about our deception. If anything, they want us to cut a record and tour. Maybe that would be a fun thing to do.

Walking into my place I find the ladies waiting with breakfast. The six of us enjoy the food and conversation. I find myself enjoying the interaction. The feel of having friends, friends who care about us and not the money of power it wheels.

Xxxxxxx

Saturday:

The book fair is in the cavernous Jacob K. Javits Convention Center. Anna promised me tomorrow the guys can escape to fishing. As she has mapped out seven lectures and a Q&A lunch with Oxford leading light on Hardy. Today it wanders the booths. Anna is a bundle of nerves. We are slowly making our way thru the main area toward the Penguin book booth. CG mother is hiding there till her autograph time comes up. It's nearly ten o'clock. Anna has only got thru about a dozen booths.

We turn a corner, CG and Star have surged ahead. I see them talking to an older lady with bright blonde hair and stone face. She sees me and pales. I have to be sure if 'She's' the girl with the starburst scar on her left shoulder. I walk up, she stands. Shaking with 'dread?'

"Chris, Anna my mother Cassiopeia Thistle, also known as Martha Mary Singvogel,

"Mom, my boss_"

"Hello Christian?" She says in cold severe emotionless words and her eyes alight with terror.

"MOM?" CG asks.

"We need to talk Starburst girl." I say. Everyone is confused by our interaction. I feel Anna hold me tight and protect me from the girl in the photo.

_Grey manor: Christian 13-years old. _

_I stare at the strange trifold frame behind Dad's desk. The middle picture is Us kids horsing around the __Northwest Colonial Festival and Battle Reenactment last year. __A picture of just married Mom in Paris__, In an alcove on the Pont Neuf. __Mom called it the most romantic place on __the oldest bridge in Paris. __The sparkling city behind her in the growing twilight of days end. _

_The last picture crumbled and torn. A happy smiling girl with blonde hair and mischievous smile turning back over her shoulder, a red white and striped halter showing a star burst scar on her left shoulder. A smile so bright, full of life. The haunting eyes, seen too much of life and hell; eyes like Ella; despite it all, pure love is pouring out to the photographer. The perfect woman? I asked dad about her. He just closed the picture frame and said nothing. _

_Mom said not to asks again; that it was two painful for dad to talk about. I demand some answer 'was she family?' or 'dad's first girlfriend?' Mom just held my arms 'Christian, please just let it be. For Carrick sake.'_

_Grandma T told me not asks again. Grandpa T took me for a walk around the block. Explaining why Dad has no family, the girl in the photo is his last link to his past and family. The only happy moment in his youth. I shrug an let it go. Dad doesn't need more shit like me, to hurt him._

"Joyce! Booking signing is over. This way Please!" she barks walking away. We follow her to a parking lot.

"I assume you have wheels or are we Ubering to the Penthouse?" She says bravely, with fear and terror in her eyes.

"Yes Mama. Here is Parks with the limo." Taylor barks back at her.

We crowd into the car. The short ride to the penthouse is still and foreboding. Once we all sit in the living room. Gail has snacks and tea. We all take something.

"Christian." She starts

"yes?" I say and CG says "Mom?" at the same time. Most confusing.

"you didn't tell him your name son?" she says to CG

"NO. I thought it would be confusing?" CG says

"Why CG?" I ask  
"I'm Christian Grey Thistle; that why"

"why did you name him that?" I stare at her, looking at the twenty-seven-year-old PA.

"What do you think you know Christian?" she asks pointily at me.

"I know that dad has your picture in a tri-frame with us kids and mom in his study. And he never talks about who or what you are." I say wondering what is going on.

"Alright! Males are exiled to the game room; Parks make sure they stay in there. MOVE IT!" Anna commands. I start to argue; stopping myself I just need to let her solve this problem. I'm too emotional right now about family. She always has my back. Always has my welfare as her focus in life.

We three shuffle to the game room and play pinball; wrecking the machines in tempers we can't understand or what to understand.

"Christian? Are you OK?" Jason asks us.

"Yes" we both answers.

"Alright from now on your CG and Your Chris. Period." Taylor laughs.

"Do you think it's ok to leave them alone?" I ask pulling my hair.

"A year ago, I'd said hell no. Now I know Anna will get to the bottom and make everything better or gone away. No offense CG." Taylor says.

We all think on the words.

"Alright Who's the first pigeon in Billiards. Five a point difference." Taylor speaks, we start to play and let the strife in the living room work it's self out.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Living room: anna-pov

"Well I'll Star. Cassiopeia. Your daughter-in-law of two months." Star says

"I'm Gail Taylor, the housekeeper and adopted aunt to the Grey kids."

"I'm Anna Grey. Your what exactly?"

"You're my Nephew Christian Trevelyan Grey wife." Cassiopeia says with raw emotions. Painful words shake her frame. Like a condemned man on the gallows awaiting the drop.

"Alright Cassiopeia how is that possible?" I ask.

"Everyone calls me Cass, easier on the tongue. I'm Carrick older sister." Cass says

"How did you name CG after his cousin?"

"I didn't, I named him after my brother Carrick." Cass says looking out the window.

"UH?" I ask shock and unsure what that means.

"Phillip Carrick Christian Vanderbilt Grey the third" Cass says like she is excising a demon.

Taking a long sip on the tea. "Carrick dropped the Phillip and the third once he left the family. They were very bitter things; he could no longer take the burden. Being named after evil, immoral people that abused and neglected us; was something he couldn't or won't deal with. Had it legally changed when he was seventeen. Carrick was his public name while I called him Christian" Cass has tears running down her check.

"When was the last time you two spoke?" Star asks

"The day I abandoned him at twelve years old. The day I escaped. I watched him once in the Army try a case. Sitting in the back, so he won't see me. I was at Elliott's College graduation, watching the family. Seemed like he inherited the family disease." Cass is trembling.

"Why do you think that?" I ask

"He was cold and emotionless at Elliott's Graduation. I remember that scowling look from dad and grandpa. He was angry, very angry." Cass says

"He was mad, that Elliott had dumped a scantily glad coed on his bother the night before. Which caused Christian to leave that morning and miss the ceremony." Gail explains. "Elliott was trying to be a good brother, but many of his attempts misfired or were just the wrong way at the wrong time. Jason tried several times to get him to understand Christian issues with touch were too severe to overcome."

I look at her. She sees my wound. She touches my face. "Anna, it took a breakdown and an angel to bring him back. From the moment you two met; the world tilted and you two were meant to be. I was there. I saw a miracle for two people run over by the world. But unafraid to step up and fight for your love. With you the touch issue doesn't exist. It's getting better. You both are getting better." Gail soothes my hurts. I hug her fiercely.

"Touch issues?" Cass asks.

"Christian time before Grace and Carrick adopted his were horrific, he was scarred by an evil man, while his birth mother was lost in drugs. He has burns on his chest and back; which most people can't touch or even get close to, without him going thermonuclear."

"I was so wrong, about so many things." Cass cries more.

"That was yesterday. Today is now and tomorrow will be better." Star says taking my hand.

I move to her on the coach, holding her as she weeps. Star holds her too. We females are awash on a sea of uncertainty.

"Cass, Carrick doesn't have the disease. He's never hit his kids in anger. Never let the argument get physical. He's a good man. Who loves his sister?" Gail touches her face. She pets mine.

"let me talk to Carrick and Grace. Yes, I know the problems there having right now. But family is family and we don't let imagine wounds stop us from healing." Gail speaks wisdom.

"Should I talk to them?" I ask, dreading she says yes.

"No, I'll do it; I understand the issues. I had a long talk with Grace before you guys arrived in Aspen." Gail smile, a leave's the room.

"What do we do know?" Star asks as Cass nods.

"Parks? What the kitty?" I scream

"five bucks each point difference English pool, CG is down thirty. Christian down twenty-five." He yells back.

"Well ladies of the court. I believe some Pigeons are waiting to be plucked. Mamma needs a new car." I laugh dragging the ladies to the game room. We arrive to shocked males in the middle of a three way shoot out on the green felt. I dance to my man, ruining his shot and suck the air from his lungs. Stepping back, I see Star has CG panting for air and more. Cass is smirking at us youngsters lusting after our spouses. I see Jason has escaped with Gail, from Parks covered eyes in the hall doorway; I know down the hall Jason is panting for air too. We ladies rock!

"Girls vs toads. Racket-mm froggy." I smile at Christian, shaking my boot-ty.

"Where the rest of the balls?" Star asks.

"Ladies the game is English Billiards. A cannon: This is where the cue ball is struck so that it hits the red and other cue ball (in any order) on the same shot. This scores two points. A pot: This is when the red ball is struck by the player's cue ball so that the red ends up entering a pocket. This scores three points. If the player's cue ball strikes the other cue ball resulting it going down the pocket, then this scores two points. In-off: This occurs when a player strikes their cue ball, hitting another ball and then entering a pocket. This scores three points if the red was the first ball hit and two points if it was the other player's cue ball hit first. Combinations of the above can be played in the same shot, with a maximum of ten points per shot possible. The agreed points limit is 300. Choose your cue ball yellow or white. CG what was the last wager?" Christian smirks at us. I feel Star bump me, with an evil glint in her eye.

"We choose yellow. The wager is simply a romantic dinner cruising the Hudson. I believe Anna next week is a full moon. The city is especial '**Con Amor,'** candle light dinner on a plush secluded ship slowly drifting in the moonlight." Star says caulk up her stick. The guys are panting.

"If we win?" Christian asks

"Then you get to choose the outfit or lack of outfit for the dinner; provided we are alone." I gleefully bounce.

"I'm going to have tea with Gail. You guys make me sick. All that lovefull lusting; makes me sick I tell you. Don't get the table soiled." Cass says laughing for the door.

"It's my table and I'll spoil_" Christian starts till I tap his family jewels with my cue stick.

"Behave. I mighty consent once the cousin's leaves" I purr as Christian Grey blushes from his unruly hair to his toes.

"Star, you're up" I yell as Star runs the tale for ten points

We console the losers; Over a dinner of Chinese take-out. there is a great one just around the corner per Cass and CG. Although Star is hording the ghost pepper celery and chicken. I amazed at her red face, still shoving down the fire hot pieces. Laughing at us. Christian tease her that Carrick and Mia are pepper heads to. We laugh at the antics of CG avoiding the ghost pepper flavored lips of his wife.

Christian has already texted Andrea about two boats for a moonlight pleasure cruise on the Hudson. Turns out the Mrs. Star Thistle hustled her way thru college playing pool and poker. While I was tutored by Ray in the finer point of the green table. After all daddy was an All US Army's Pool, Billiards and Snooker champion four separate times; I won my last two summer school tuition's at Sams Hollywood Billiards in Portland. We fleeced the pigeons good.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Seattle Grace.

I watch my man on the tread mill running hard, trying to out run the demons of his past. I see that Kurtz is still within, almost back in his cage. Cary is a great father and man. He doesn't need to be the ruthless sadist his father and grandfather were. I move to in front of him, removing my shirt, playing with my breast and nipples.

That did it; as I'm carried caveman to bed. I take my man and sex and love him to sleep. Peaceful sleep. I watch the man I love return to me. I believe Kurtz is in his cage for now. I smile in the dark. Once the kids return, we'll be healed.

"Ring" "Ring" the damn phone. I look out the window its nearly 10am. I look Gail is calling me. She's in NYC with Christian and Anna. OH no! Something is wrong. I grab the phone and retreat to the bathroom.

Fifteen minutes later I sit on the side of the bed, dreading what I must do. Will this news bring Kurtz back out or will Cary's deep love of his sister lead him forwards? He never talks about her or her leaving him behind. I know he has conflicted emotions about it.

"Carrick, wake up." I shove his shoulder. One eye peek open. I shove again. the usually morning routine. I kiss him to alertness. He wants to be frisks and play. I swear I need to saltpeter the Grey men so we ladies can get some rest.

"Gail called."

"Are the kids ok?" sitting up, fear in his eyes.

"Their fine. Something from the past has arose." I let the pregnant pause hang in the air.

"What now?"

"Christian met his Aunt."

"Miina?" he asks unsure of the world.

"yes, She's a noted Author. Her son Christian works for our Christian in the NY office."

"She named her son after me? She still cares about me?" he asks lost. My lost little boy, I will protect you and heal you.

"Yes, it would seem. Do you want to talk to her? see her?" I ask; already knowing the answers.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

1500pm Seattle:

I watch Carrick hose himself down on the patio. He ran with Thomas his CPO till he collapsed and then with Barney. Till Carrick collapsed, he ran all the way to Carkeek Park in Crown Hill to Discovery Park, then Century Link Field Stadium to Mercer Slough Nature Park south of Grey manor. Close to thirty-three miles just over Five hours. He looks calm. I hope the inner turmoil is better.

While he was gone, I had Welch get a detail background on Miina, now Cassiopeia Thistle. The woman has led a hard life, losing two husbands she loved and old pervert she didn't. Talented Author of fiction and non-fiction. I have a dozen Victoria Ausbrecher blouse tear romances fiction books in my Library and two dozen more on my iPad.

Her non-fiction Martha Mary Singvogel, is a recognized expert in the English Literature field. She as lecturer and taught at Oxford. She wrote Anna's School Text book on Hardy. She sounds unsure about Carrick; but I feel she is just guilty of leaving him behind. I can understand having worked the Emergency Room. Abuse victims will do anything to escape or get help. I'm sure if she could have taken him with her, she would have.

I laugh when she tells me Anna and her new Daughter-in-law Star are taking the guys to the cleaners in English Billiard. After watching Ray and Carrick play at Disneyworld; they easily fleece a dozen want-to-be's. Remember Ray tell us; He tutored Anna in the fine art of ball and cue, after sports with larger balls proved too dangerous for anyone around our petite girl.

Carrick strips naked and walks inside. I hand him a towel. "shocking the neighbors'"

"Ye-pa. After dinner we'll talk to Miina."

"She goes by Cassiopeia or Cass for short now."

"In Greek Κασσιόπη, which means "she whose words excel". The Banished Queen for her hubristic, vanity. Sounds like my sister." He says between eating mouthfuls of Shepherd's pie.

"She always had these vivid stories to entertain me, to ignore the pains and hurt. Now she published them any good."

"Well I own about forty out of hundred in fiction; Anna's text book for Her last College class is authored by her. So Yea! I'd say she talented, and successful. The background check is on your desk. She has not had an easy life."

"text Gail to set up a video conference tomorrow." He says without convictions. "Screw that! call Andrea about borrowing Christian jet to go see her in person.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
East Quogue, Hamptons NY Cutting Tree Horse Farm defuncted.

I watch my husband and his sister waltz among the willow trees near a creek on Christian news property. A defuncted horse farm in East Quogue Hamptons. The farm includes two houses on the beach; one on Hot Dog Beach and the other next to Surf Club of East Quogue.

The soft classical music floats from Carrick phone. I always wondered now my man could dance so well, His sister taught him as a way to cope with cruel father abuse. They cried and yelled and hugged till dusk settle three days ago. Now everything is turning golden again. Kurtz's is caged and Carrick is finally at peace with himself. The final missing piece is back, to make my man whole again.

The horse farm was a losing proposition form the start, not enough land, wrong location, and zoning. CG idea that an organic farm, with B&B slash conference or entertainment venue. We are in the beach house next to Surf Club of East Quogue. The modern house is nice. CG and Star are at his condo Water Mill. While Cass is at her condo in off Wading River Beach. The house on the horse farm is condemned, for mold and dry rot. Carrick thinks spotty material and practices led to its collapse after just six years.

I feel Carrick take me in his arms waltz me around the trees. I let my man hold me physical while I hold him up emotionally. "in sickness and health" I whisper.

"How did I ever get a angel like you" Carrick says kissing me.


	12. Chapter 12 tones the bell

Fsog chp12 tones the bell

_"Perchance he for whom this bell tolls may be so ill, as that he knows not it tolls for him; and perchance I may think myself so much better than I am, as that they who are about me, and see my state, may have caused it to toll for me, and I know not that." John Donne (1572-1631), Devotions Upon Emergent Occasions, Meditation XVII:_

The sun sets over the horizon to the west. Beyond the Space Needle's mast just visible in the haze of dusk. I huddle next to the roof exhaust vent on a twenty-floor skyscraper. I've been here for three weeks. No one has come up here in this time. My dad helped build this monstrosity when he got out of the Army. Used this as a hide away from mom or the law.

I can see the evil tower of Sauron the Grey with its evil eye. I can see the tower of Grey, 31st floor of Escala penthouse, the most luxurious tower in the heart of downtown Seattle. The place he will bring my property. The place I will kill him. Destroyed my dad, my cousin. Took our livelihood and property. No one takes what is mine. I sharpen the knife I will use to cut them.

Anna thought herself to good for me. Well she's whore with Grey, damaged property. Not worthy my pure blood to mate with now. I will skin her alive with him watching. Soon very soon. I have food for one week more. The websites say they are hobnobbing in the Hampton's. Soon bi%$#$H. Soon you're mine.

When I see the shadows move in the penthouse; I'll sneak over and dance in my revenge! I stare into the dusk last faded light.

Xxxxxxxxxxx

Dawn wakes me up. I stretch and roll out of my nest to pee. I walk to the sewer stand pipe and piss into it. I watch the shadow chase away from the sun. I turn into two men looking very ugly. I know I'm dead meat. They leer at me with evil intend.

"Hello Jose." Says a voice from the past. I turn to the one person I never wanted to meet again. I piss my pants; I shakes looking about for any options. None are good. I see the evil man draw the tin Chira (triple fuller) kukri knife of lore. I shake has he steps forward, blade reversed, edge outward. I've seen him destroy a dozen four-inch bamboo poles in a single kata. I won't die like a dog, begging for mercy. I'm not my father wallowing in prison. I bolt for the only place I can.

I leap over the parapet as the world tilts, I feel nothing but the rush of air. Falling on my back; Looking up I see Ray's face smiling at me. did I win?

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Ray-pov

I watch the kid I thought I knew; help raise splat on the pavement below. I feel only satisfied that he is dead, so Annie and Christian can live a better life. I walk to my buddies; we head out before the cops arrive. Stupid kid, had to check his phone every day. I need a beer and warm massage by a scantily dress woman.

I drive home, only one old threat remains; Carla. I need to let Welch and Jason deal with her. Annie would not want to visit me in jail for ringing her chicken neck. I head home to my house and wood shop. I need to soothe my nerves. So much risked this year. So much pain and suffering. So much lost time. I need to make it up to Annie, Andrea, Kate, and Mia.

I arrive home to find everything as I left it two weeks ago. I start on Mia's tea service; she ordered as a wedding present for Annie. I know Andrea wants one to. I smile at my adopted smart girls. I check the wood. It's dry and ready to turn. I spin up the lathe, life is getting better.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hamptons NY: Christian-pov

_No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main. If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friend's or of thine own were: any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bells tolls; it tolls for thee." John Donne (1572-1631), Devotions Upon Emergent Occasions, Meditation XVII:_

I stroke my girl's body to new delights. We wrecked the bed last night. Anna was a wildcat in passion and demands. I flash to her face tense in the hard orgasm, La Petite de Mort, as I stroke into her. The feel of her nails pulling me closer, harder, deeper. I smile at my life. I turn on the computer and pick up the guitar. Letting the emotions craft my path in cords and rhythm.

I turn in mid recording to an evil face from the past on the patio. I drop the guitar and rush to the patio; thru the glass French doors. Screw stopping to open the door. He turns to run; I carry us over the rail into the dunes. Raising like a demon I am; I slug the focus of my hate and impotence in protecting my family. I pound till the world goes black.

I wake to Anna's concern and Jason smirk. "Chris are you ok?"

"Jason did you tasered me?"

"Yes. That or shoot you to stop you from killing the intruder. Do you know him?" Jason ask quizzable

"Yea it was Eliana prodigy. Former manager of her Salons, Mark Meadows."

"Well he was armed and had a detailed escape route to Connecticut."

"anything else?"

"Yes, caveman, your bleeding and we are going to the hospital because you may need stiches. And Head scan. What bull headed caveman stupidity lack of brain cells caused you to runs thru a French door?" Anna glares at me.

"Didn't want to stop to unlock it and feared he'd get away." I smirk at her.

She stomps away I presume to get her purse and car keys. I hope she is?

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Esmeralda-pov

_Although modesty is natural to man, it is not natural to children. Modesty only begins with the knowledge of evil. Jean-Jacques Rousseau_

I watch the evil troll move into the social scene of Washington. I wait and watch the newest wife to the newest general. The retread is going to be a problem. Newly widowed and remarried before the ink was dry; Carla.

She doesn't remember me; she should always have remembered me. I puff on my vape pen, cool minty nicotine surges into my lungs. I wander the reception, mingling; waiting and watching. I've always hated these things.

Standing with Deputy Chief of Staff for Training, and his French-Vietnamese wife, making small talk about the upcoming Air Show over the Mall. Colonel Elliott and his ass kissing entourage intrude. The Colonel is head of Public Relations for the Pentagon. I move to escape; when Carla and husband in tow walk up. Colonel Elliott turns to us. "O'yes General McConnel. This is General Thompson his wife Catharine, General Troutman, Commandant Ft. Braggs Special forces School and Central Command's Special Operations head. A General MacMillan wife Esmeralda. Where is that rascal of a husband of yours? Missing one of the events of the season."

"He's on a flight back from Canadian Forces Base Suffield. The first Armors excises ran over. I hope he would make the party; Last call had him in Chicago Switching planes. Have we met before?" I ask Carla

"Its possible, Eliana was married to Major Steele at Ft. Bragg for several years. Eliana dear?" The ass-wipe speak.

"No, I would have remembered a name like Esmeralda." She purrs truthful, she doesn't remember me. Her mistake, her last mistake with me.

"We must do Lunch one day, as you husband is one of my Husbands junior officers."

"He is a General." Carla puffs out.

"Yes, but this is the Pentagon. Where Colonel serve drinks and sweep floors. Your post is I believe Four deputy to US Forces NATO G4 (supply) stationed in D.C... I understand you'll be in charge of winter equipment and training." I put them in their places. Catherine laughs under her hand. The want-to-be's run away!

"Esses?" She whispers

"That woman is a danger to the anyone she touches. It would do well Troutman to get an impartial background on her; starting with calling Retired Major Steele. I understand he's in Seattle, or somewhere out there." I turn headed to the powder room to de-stress from wanting to pull that woman's hair out of her lying head.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Carla-pov

"Who was that woman?" I ask

"Don't worry about her; She's old establishment. Her husband retires next December; So? don't sweat it." the Gimp asks me. he cringes in my glare. I smile thinking about the ways to punish him for not championing me in the encounter with that bi #$h

My plans are going well; I've already suborned Elliott mouse of a wife. She loves Dorothy; in the closet so, deep she didn't even know she loved pie not sticks. Her husband Ezekiel Elliott, is willing to do anything to be the next lying Opinion Mouth piece on Fox. Even the Gimp as banged his tired ass.

I will not let anyone get in my way.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Esmeralda-pov

I put the horse thru its cross-country paces. I seethe will violence and ill will to all who cross my path. That thing tried to suborn my husband, with underage sex worker. Like Daniel would cheat on me; he remembers my first husband at Ft. Bragg. That moron banged Carla and thought I'd be ok with it. He had to use condoms for a year to clean up all STD she gave him.

She doesn't remember me; that is rich. Considering I've had no surgeries or changed my first name. But everyone back then remembers me by my second name Roselia. I have an appointment for lunch tomorrow with the thing at the Pavilion Café in the National Gallery of Art's Sculpture Garden. I think it's time to strike and put the thing in her place. Troutman showed me a copy of her Background Check. She's been a very naughty skank. A Skanks like her give us a bad name.

Pavilion Café in the National Gallery of Art's Sculpture Garden Monday:

I sit waiting for the thing to arrive; she is not going to like this thing I do to her. She will probably get off on the pain I will inflict on her. I see her enter regal and fake; like a sow in tux. You can't hide the smell of loathing.

She sits orders a coffee. Staring at me trying to dominate me; not a chance skank. "I understand you've petitioned the Atrium De Beaux Oiseaux for membership." I sip my Venti Americano. She goes thru several emotions.

"you're a member?" she asks stupidly.

"Yes, I'm on the membership committee. Your new husband was a member as a captain, but was rejected over an issue with money." I leave the question hanging in the air.

"There will be no issues with money; I hold the financial control." She sweats good, very good.

"I noticed you're a switch; not unheard of in your type of relationship. Your reference in Georgie and Las Vegas are not totally up to snuff. So, the committee has authorized a trial scene."

"I can have my husband anywhere after four pm."

"You misunderstood. Your on-trial right now. Remove your underwear and put it in the bag next to the table. Then go get my bagel at the counter." I command; the little skank runs to do my bidding.

In the basement of the Trump hotel, I a separate room rented to visiting deviants like me. I have the thing over the saw horse waiting her pain. Her humiliation. The whip sings as I take strips off her back; she'll never go backless again. I vent my furor, my hatred of this woman. Dump ice water on her back, spirit of hartshorn tablets under her nose. She looks beaten inside and out. My husband lifts her head.

"Carla you should have remember me from Ft. Bragg. You should have remembered you have a daughter; A daughter I failed to help and protect. Failed in my oath to my little cousin Frank. Remember now Carla? Roselia Marston ring a bell. How about Godmother to your daughter Anastasia?"

I stand, we walk away. After the train pulls thru here, anonymous tip will bring the police. Her husband's already in the stockade for playing with an underage boy; she provided from her manipulations of a stupid Sergeant's wife.

"Will you tell her?" my husband asks.

"No, Theo knows and that good enough for now. They don't need a dominatrix in the family." I say sad; but I've let this go on to long. My penance for failing my little cousin Frank Lambert.

"any place special?"

"Yea, let's go see grand-dad"

We drive into Arlington, into the private back gate of the cemetery. We stop and walk to two head stones. Frank is buried outside Ft. Bragg. Dad is buried outside San Francisco. I stare at the two head stones. Great grandpa Major General Edward Tecumseh Sherman IV died 1950 Korea & grandpa Colonel Edward Tecumseh Sherman V died 1980. Buried with grandpa is grandma. Professor Dr. Eleanore Anastasia Lambert-Sherman.

"I'm sorry I was selfish and let my god daughter and cousin wallow in pain and neglect. I will try to make it up to her; somehow. Sorry grandma." I speak from the heart. Tears long held inside flow out as grass caress my face. My husband lets me be. He knows I need to vent the guilty.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Jason-pov

I listen on the phone as Anna's godfather tells me Carla is gone forever. She was committed into a nut house outside DC. She will never get out; as the STD's and life style have shortened her life span. I walk to the window, looking out at the young couple hunkered down next to a fire pit on the edge of the sand. I see Parks far edge of light, insuring their private space.

I feel Gail's arms around me; "Carla's gone for good. Junior is dead and we are free to the normal threats."

"Jason; Truck and Parks have the kids. Come to bed! Your wife to be has an itch." I laugh chasing her to the bedroom; the kids: Anna & Chris will need noise canceling headphone tonight. our turn to howl.

I wake with the dawn; finding Christian sitting on the deck, sipping coffee. I get some and sit next to him. We watch twilight fade in glorious sunray and then golden orb, new days dawn. I sip

"Jason."

"yes?"

"I've made a decision. I bought the estate on the Sound, the old Morris place. That were we are going to live. I will give Escala to Ray."

"He doesn't want it. Now the lodge on the Gray river, that's another matter. We should keep Escala for when you need to be in town. Or as your dog house."

"I'll think on that. Ray and Dad will have to share the lodge."

"I don't think that will be a problem, after all the Lincoln debtor's sale got you a lot of good properties for very little."

"yea, I'm going to talk to Roz about cutting back on hours and curtail the A&M stuff. I need to live the life I want; with the woman I want. And the friends who didn't give up on me."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Christmas three years later:

We're having a Christmas in the Netherlands. Dad just won his biggest case before the World Court. Mom has been lecturing for the last six months at the Erasmus University Rotterdam. They got a house about half way between the Hague and Rotterdam in town of Schipluiden. Next to the Delfland Golf club. I have a house down the road in Hodenpijl off of Klaas Engelbrechtsweg. The parents are happy with my three new brothers and two sisters.

The adults decided to start again with kids who needed a second chance. The mix of teenager and elementary schoolers drives Elliott and me nuts. Especial with our kids. Teddy and Phoebe are two. With Elliott and Kate Ava, with thier second daughter Anna Catherine one. The holidays are magical in the Netherlands.

After the holidays as everyone head home: We head into Belgium. Gwen's information leads me to the Kortrijk region. The best DNA works is around the village of Beselare off of A19 at Polderhoek. We have a B&B Slangenmeers in nearby Zonnebeke. The quaint farmhouse, 4 bedrooms and 4 bathrooms, is big enough for us and security. The grounds are romantic in the winters white coat. Anna plans a day trip to nearby Ypres and Zonnegloed children's zoo in Vleteren.

With Gail watching the kids; we wander the brick building town, stopping in Koklikoo Teahouse & Bistro. I feel a strange sense of home. Like I can feel my ancestors. It's a strange thing. I wonder as a local band starts setting up to jam.

"Wie ben je. ik zei je nooit terug te komen! (Who are you. I told you never to come back!)" says an old man with a walker. He must have been a giant in his prime. He glares at me.

"Please excuse my grandfather, He has how you say Alzheimer. He still thinks he's still the Koninklijke Marechaussee, a gendarmerie, Police Captain here. Please do not take offense." Says the waitress

" Ik zei je Christen hier nooit meer terug te komen (I told you Christian never to come back here)"

I stand up: Anna grabs my hand. "how did you know my name?"

"I don't understand sir. Your name?" the waitress tries to separate me and old man.

"Yes, my name is Christian, I'm supposedly from this area, at least my DNA says so." I roar; great everyone is watching us.

"Christian Hunter, ik zei je om te vertrekken en nooit meer terug te komen. Na Maria's dood ben je hier niet welkom : Christian Hunter, I told you to leave and never come back. After Maria's death you're not welcome here" the old guy bellows getting agitated.

"papa ga zitten, dit is geen Christian Hunter, deze man lijkt gewoon op hem.( papa sit down, this is not Christian Hunter, This man just looks like him.)" an older lady says. Once she gets the old guy seated, still glaring at me. Anna drag me back down to a sitting position.

"I'm sorry my father is old, his mind, locked in his youth. I'm Ava Hunter. Please let me buy your drinks?"

"NO. Who was Christian Hunter? An do I look like him?"

"Yes, you look like my brother-in-law, He is dead closes to thirty years. Died in Detroit, worked on the Great Lake cargo ships. Why?"

"I was born in Detroit and my DNA list me from here with a smattering of other places. And my name is Christian. I say

"it could be. The Jager or Hunter family was founded by an American soldiers in WWI. He left a girl with four kids, disappeared back to America."

"Who was Maria?" Anna asks

"Maria Jager, your fathers' oldest sister. She raised the Boys and her sister after their parents died in a barn fire trying to save their sheep. She died down the street, Christian, your father, drunk driving ran her over. He was never very sane to begin with. Drunk he was violent and abusive."

"Who are you exactly?"

""Ava hier zijn de T-shirts voor het verbod - d? Dopen? (Ava here's the T-shirts for the Ban-d? Christen?)" says a man with grey eyes. I stand we are about the same. Same eyes, hair, face; Just older.

"Luther, dit is je neef-christen, uit Amerika (Luther, this is your nephew Christian, from America).

"Je krijgt geen geld van de familie; You'll get no money from the family?"

Anna falls out of her seat laughing. Looking up at me I haul her to her feet.

"Put you in your place Grey, they have no idea who you are. Other than a lost relation. Can you repeat that I didn't photo-bomb my husband face when you said that?"

"Who are you exactly" saying my uncle.

"Who wants to know?"

"I'm Politie kapitein Luther Draagt Jager.' He bellows, with my hand itching to bury it in his face.

"Hij is Christian Gray van Seattle Washington, miljardair. Ik ben Palumbo, zijn CPO-beveiliging. (He is Christian Grey of Seattle Washington USA, billionaire. I'm Palumbo, his CPO security.) says Palumbo are local security.

"Oh! I get the money joke. Anna is it. Come let the men puff and thump their chest. I can't wait to hear about you two. This is my daughter Theresa and my youngest Luther junior." She pulls me away as the men sit and talk. Christian is holding his own. He now as a link to past.

Anna-pov

A very wicked idea pops into my head. "Luther, my newest paternal cousin, Lets get Christian to jam with you, for a couple of songs." He likes the idea. I watch Christian get mad about performing. He hasn't publicly performed since that Festival, when he was lost.

He starts the music and rips the night in mastery. Theresa and Ava come over to me dancing like a loon to my man's words and cords. "How should we put this out on U-tube?"

"That easy Mountain Man Rimbaud, rise in Beselare." They look at me strangle. Several bootleg video and MP3 have surface, Christian should have a couple of platinum Albums on his wall. Three songs went to number one. "Lady of my dreams" was his best song. Written to me before we even met. Gods have a funny way of throwing the dice.


	13. Chapter 13 Ends of beginnings

FSOG chp13 end of beginnings

The last snow flakes drift, dancing along the snowcapped edge of the patio railing. The winter sun has peaked beyond the horizon over far distance Midway atoll. I watch the last vestiges of day bleed thru twilight into darkness. Broken by the sparse patio lights; Casting eerie shadows drift along the still, frozen, carpeted, snowscape. I watch the peaceful world outside. I watch the idyllic peace I long to find inside this abode.

Turning back into the madhouse of the great room. My Aspen house is nearly rolling down the hill with the chaos inside. My only consolation is that the family is not here. It's just my horde of barbarian's, Led by the child king himself: Christian the First. I smile at his chasing our five and six-year-old adopted boys. They are racing naked thru the house to avoid the bath upstairs. Chris in hot pursuit. Our oldest children are busting moves on the latest Dance party video game. Christian is very upset about Andrea and Barney early Christmas gift of the VR game. They have been addicted to it since the twentieth.

I will miss my eldest; Sixteen-year old's Teddy and Phoebe are off to Aunt Cass House in Oxford after the break. Phoebe is studying boys and Classical Lit & Publishing. Teddy in Art history and restoration, following in Rays footsteps. Grace and Ella our twin eleven-year-old daughters are beginning after the summer, high school. Peter our adopted ten-year-old is drifting toward a mechanical degree, possible Auto mechanic. If we can keep him from disassembling the cars; hopeful next year he will master putting at least one back to running order. Tommy our ten-year-old, adopted daughter is becoming Christian clone. They both came from places Christian knew too well. Both our most recent adoption. At four years.

I watch College senior Sophie tackle Edward the six-year-old, we've him since he was six months old. One down one to go. Chris corners Harry our five-year-old, we've had him since he was one year old. His scars speak of unimaginable horrors. Nope! Harry slips by Chris with that classic stutter step that Teddy used to score the winning point in Ruby last month. He's headed for the Kitchen Door and the back steps.

"HARRY!" I scream, landing him on his butt. I point to his father and the stairs. "Baths. NOW!"

That has everyone running for the stairs.

The sooner they're bathed, pajamas and settle on the cushions. The sooner we will watch the New Year ball dropping harking on the Big screens. Gail is laughing putting snacks on the tables. Jason is guarding the back stairs from the manic Grey Horde upstairs. Last year the herd sneaked down the back stairs and raided the Chocolate. Sick whining kids on sugar overload was not our idea of fun and relaxing. The horde ate thirty pounds of Chocolate in ten minutes. My kids don't do anything half ass. I take a hot tea and sit on the couch.

The youngest are the first down with Sophie smiling dropping on a beanbag after grabbing a tall Mai Tai. "I'm never having Kids. I swear mom. Never!" she smirks to Gail. As her thirteen-year-old brother flops next to her. Jason Jr. is a fun-loving free spirit and sports gods. "Yea right sis. You Know you'll have a pack by the time your tenth anniversary rolls around. Just to make Mom happy, to say nothing of Aunt Anna."

As the last of my children flop about me: Tommy, and Harry cuddle to me. I start the fourteen-year-old DVD. The kids favorite Christian Grey 'mountain man Rimbaud 'live at Madison Square Garden for the Save the Children charity concert. Daddy rocking like the rock god he is. His Belgium cousin Luther junior rocking with him. He blasts the world for close to two hours before I walk him off the stage. He only plays charity gig's, not needing the money or fame.

His last album made twenty million for charity, all classic rock acoustic non-sing song. He rocks, my world. I let the time plead away. Till fifteen minutes to ball drop here in Aspen.

"Everyone Shut up! Teddy you're first. YES! By order! What do you wish for this coming year?" I start are yearly New Years tradition. This should be good.

"MY Teddy Grey wish for the new year is my parents buy the Old Wilson Shipwright Loft and gift it to me outfitted for restoration. And for Mom to Stop picking on me." My eldest smirks, sticking out his tongue at his sister.

"My Phoebe Grey wish for the new year is to study in Shanghai next fall. And for Mom to Stop picking on me." My daughter laughs sticking her tongue out at her sisters.

"My Grace Gail Grey the supreme wish for my new years is for Dad to allow me to date. And for Mom to Stop picking on me." She sticks her tongue out at her sister.

"My Ella Therese Rose Grey, overlord supreme daughter and sister wish for the new year is for the adults to allow me to perform; Musically and dance this coming summer. To tour with my band. Oh! And for Mom to Stop picking on me." She sticks her tongue out at her Peter.

"My Peter Jason Grey wish is to have Dad & Uncle Jason teach me to fix the cars I break. For mom to teach me to drive. Since Dad doesn't need another Heart attack like teaching Phoebe to drive; to say nothing of Teddy's driver Ed fiasco. And for Mom to Stop picking on me." He points to Tommy and sticks his tongue sideways in his mouth, making a comical face.

"My Thomasina Victoria Anastasia Grey wish for the new year for the parents to allow me to intern with dad and make my first solo acquisition and merger. And for Mom to Stop picking on me. And dad start." She laughs falling off the couch. Looking upside down she raspberries her brothers.

"My Edward Jaeger Carrick Grey wish is for Sailing lesson this summer. And a new baseball hat. And Mom can pick on me, I love her. Despite my siblings. Harry" he tries to touch his tongue to his nose, like his father.

"My Harry Christian Luke Raymond Grey wish for a deep-sea fishing trip with the Dad and Grand-papas. Maybe a new BMX bike. And for Mom to stop dressing me and picking on me. JJ?" He forks his tongue at his buddy.

"My Jason Christian Barney Fredrick Taylor wish for adults to lift my banded motocross competitions this spring and summer, and release my snow board for winter competitions. Please MOM, and for Aunt Anna to stop picking on me." He gives his sister the finger with the tongue. "Smack" his head bobbles as Gail threw a pillow, she had ready for the insolence dare devil.

"If you don't break any bones this spring, or cause me more gray hairs maybe?" Gail tease him.

"With GPA of 4.0. I will consider the summer" Jason laughs. Jason Jr. Looks crestfallen since his best semester is 3.5…

"My Sophie Alice Taylor, the queen of the herd. Wish for this year that the adults will not scare away my boyfriend who is coming tomorrow. And Mom, Aunt Anna and the guys will give him a chance. Oh! And stop picking on me." She looks at us hoping we will not scare away the young man. We've already read his background check, voted to give him a chance. He seems a nice boy.

"My Jason Taylor the senior, wish for the kids to give Christian and me a break on the chaos and pranks this coming year. And that Gail and I get an alone vacation this summer. And Anna to stop picking on me." He laughs sticking out his tongue to Gail: Blowing a kiss.

"My Gail Taylor wish is for my children and Anna's Children to be happy and stop causing us gray hairs and wrinkles. Also a month long vacation form these devil possessed children of the corn. Also for Anna to stop picking on me." she sticks her tongue out at my husband.

"MY CHRISTIAN TREVELYAN GREY, CEO, father and pussy-whipped husband wish for the new year; that my kids would all be exiled to boarding schools, and prison summer camps. My hair is too gray, too thin and my nerves are shoot." He laughs.

"**DREAM ON OLD MAN!"** Scream the herd. Gail throws her second pillow, then her third at Jason sr.

"All right that or world peace. And Anna to love me forever, Despite my kids!"

"**DREAM ON OLD MAN!"** Scream the herd. Christian sticks and then licks his lips. UH! La LAA going to enjoy the bedroom tonight. Maybe sleep in tomorrow after breakfast. Since Sex god will keep my screaming all night. I lick my lips and blow him a kiss, and a finger. Everyone looks at me. "Gross MOM! DAD!" scream the kids.

"Only if you make another Kid; so, I won't be the baby anymore?" pouts Harry. I cuddle him. Kissing his head. He beams up at me. He is going to be a happy boy this coming year.

"MY Anastasia Rose Grey, Matron, martyred, mother, wife and love slave. That my herd of barbarian's would not embarrassments me more than twice per child; That my Kids would stop wrinkling my face, graying my hair and above all limit fractures and stitches this year. My husband to steal me away for more adult time. And above all else this year! Should I say it?" I look about my room remembering that day so long ago when hope and future looked so dim and hellish.

"_Miss you can't sleep here" I turn to an asshole airline agent, yelling at a me, sleeping under the chairs. I stare up into a copper headed angel fallen to earth. Grey eyes staring at me like I'm everything he wants and needs. The only thing in the world, universe. Lifting me from the ground he holds me in his arms, strong safe arms. He kisses me. Wow! I thought the electric spark we have touching was wow, but nowhere near how WOW! His kisses are._

How that kiss would start this wonderful journey and bring me such joy and happiness. I watch my children and friends and my husband. God! What a wonderful live so far, with greener pastures ahead. The chanting brings me back to earth and Aspen winter wonderland in our house on the hill.

"You should, really should, really, really should! SAY IT! SAY IT!" Everyone chants at me. Expecting my usually: 'And pick on each and every one of you. But this year is different. This year I have miracle to show them and hopefully not cause my husband to stroke out.

"Alright you scurvy dogs and vandals at the gate of my sanity. I hereby grant Harry his wish plus one. You Husband are getting fixed, for good this time."

I feel myself lifted into his arms. Holding me. As the word seep into my children and friends. "Anna?" he kisses me.

"Your overachiever sperm has got me pregnant again with twins. Sex god." I whisper into his ear. He kisses me and the world disappears to just him and me, locked in this kiss here and now.

"Five, Four, Three, Two, ONE! HAPPY NEW YEARS!" everyone screams but us. Locked in the kiss that will last us a thousand years, in a Thousand lives. He lifts and carries me to bed. I look back at my children cheering us on. How that Wow has never wavered from that first kiss in that airport terminal so long ago.

Laying me down, he looks into my eyes. I see my world, my only desire in his green flecked grey eyes. "Everything to me." I whisper. "Everything we'll ever need, want of have. Each other" Christian whispers into my lips. Kissing us into morrows bright future.

Xxxxxx

Below after the parents left.

"More siblings, you had to wish that Harry?" Phoebe pouts. I dump my cider on her head. Standing looking at my brothers and sisters. "We are Grey's. We will always be here for each other, no matter how many or how they came to be GREY. We will fight, scream and prank, but always love and cherish each and every one." Teddy says, acting like the protector he is.

"Let's dance and party till we fall asleep. Aunt Gail?" Tommy asks.

"Well, Kids the adults are gone and Uncle Jason owes me some dancing. Phoebe hit the party list. Jason get over here and dance" Gail dances Harry across the room to her husband.

The music blares and kids are dancing about. Teddy leans against the window looking out at the snows-cape. Pulling faded pictures on his smart wrist watch; Pictures of Dad and mom in an airport terminal long ago. Mom battered and bruised from evil family, Dad looking lost, beyond despair and life. Then together in blissful forever. I look out into the darkness. Whispering words, I do every year since I found the pictures in Mom scrapbook, locked in her closet. "You will never be in that place again as long as I live mom and dad. Never beyond the family's love."


End file.
